20/06/2025
I saw a quote from a presentation at the European Pain Federation's congress that has been on my mind a lot this week:
"Do the best you can until you know better.
Then when you know better, do better"
Maya Angelou
I could write an essay on why I like this quote and on how many different aspects of life this can apply to. For example, parenting, employment and health. Today, I want to focus on an aspect with a more psychological take on it - gaining a diagnosis or a family member/friend receiving a diagnosis.
There are a lot of difficult emotions and thoughts that happen when you or someone you love receives a diagnosis (this could be a physical health condition, a mental health condition or something else). Often I see people who struggle to make lifestyle changes to improve their condition. The root of this is usually complicated, but can include not wanting to change a behaviour they believe is "the best way" of doing something.
For example, with chronic pain, many people struggle to pace their activity levels. Perhaps they come from a family where there was a 'laundry day', so the "best" thing is to do all the laundry in one day to get it out of the way. But with chronic pain, this is a bad idea! It is much better for the body to spread out doing laundry through the week. I therefore think this quote can be helpful in order to take a pause and acknowledge that for this person, a 'laundry day' used to be best for them. Now they have received a diagnosis and know there is a better strategy for managing pain, they can try something different. (To add here that this is not an easy thing to do and requires a lot of time, patience, support and possibly therapy!)
This idea also applies to family and friends. For example, perhaps before someone's chronic pain diagnosis, it was believed that the best way to manage their loved ones pain was to rest (this used to be the recommendation a while ago). Therefore they encouraged their loved one with pain to rest a lot and did everything for them. Once their loved one receives their diagnosis, the temptation is to continue encouraging rest. However, now the advice for chronic pain has changed and is to not over-rest and to instead pace activity through the day. Using this quote, it can be helpful to take some time learning about the newest advice and trying to make an adjustment. Following this example, the person could encourage a loved one with chronic pain to go on a short walk instead of resting for hours on end.