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http://www.natalielouisetherapy.co.uk/

Natalie Louise Therapy, London (2026)

15/08/2025

Working with clients with chronic pain/illness and living with multiple chronic health conditions myself means that in my day to day life, I talk about health and illness a lot. I wrote a blog a while back that I wanted to re-share as I think it is something important to keep in mind. It is about conversations with friends and family that are well meaning but can miss the mark when discussing illness.

It is a fairly long blog but split into two sections - the first section is for those of you living with pain/illness and the second section is for your partner/family/friends and colleagues. Feel free to direct anyone to this blog that you think could be helped by it.

https://www.natalielouisetherapy.co.uk/blog/youlookwelltoday

28/07/2025

A topic that comes up a lot with my clients is self-criticism. It seems that many of us believe that being critical to ourselves will make us more motivated, more productive and more likely to do things we are afraid of. We are wrong!!

Self-criticism comes in many forms. It includes phrases such as “you idiot” or “I’m so stupid” when you make a mistake. It could be “you just need to try harder” or “I’m better than this” when you haven’t done something as well as you wanted to. Or socially it could be having thoughts such as “of course nobody likes me”, “why would anyone want to talk to me” or “they’re just being nice to me when they would rather be spending time with someone else”.

With my clients, we could work on self-criticism alone for months so there is only so much one social media post can explain. But I wanted to leave two examples for you to think about.

1. When you were at school, think of a subject or two you did well at and enjoyed more than others. Were the teachers of these subjects encouraging and supportive? Or were they over critical and nasty? Compare this to a subject or two that you struggled with or did not enjoy and ask yourself the same questions. It might be interesting to see what teaching style helped you learn and enjoy a topic.

2. Think of a scenario where your own young child (or your niece/nephew or a friend’s child) was learning how to do a jigsaw and you were helping to teach them. Would you sit there and say to them “you are so stupid for putting that piece there”? Or would you say something along the lines of “that was a great try, why don’t we try here instead?” or "you can do it!". If you wouldn’t say a critical phrase to a young child, then don't say it to yourself. You do not deserve it.

If the thought of being kinder to yourself results in a strong negative emotional reaction, I urge you to seek out psychological therapy as there will likely be some underlying trauma or low self-esteem to work on first.

If you think “don’t be ridiculous” in response to this post, I also recommend trying some therapy to help you to see that you don’t have to be critical to yourself to get by in life.

If you are interested in learning more about self-compassion and want to start changing self-criticism, this is a great self-help guide to get you started - https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Self-Compassion

11/07/2025

I'm going to do a very British thing and moan about the weather! Although it is lovely to see some sunshine, I imagine there are others like me who are struggling with their health conditions in this heat. I've provided a few links below for a variety of health conditions that provide tips on managing the hot weather and a generic information link for everyone with or without illness. Feel free to share this with anyone you feel may need it.

Lung conditions - https://www.asthmaandlung.org.uk/living-with/hot-weather

PoTS - https://www.potsuk.org/managingpots/temperature-regulation-2/

EDS/HSD - https://jeanniedibon.com/eds-hypermobility-heat-intolerance/

CRPS - https://www.burningnightscrps.org/support/news-and-blog/article/how-to-keep-cool-in-the-heat-living-with-chronic-illness/

Everyone! - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/beat-the-heat-hot-weather-advice/beat-the-heat-staying-safe-in-hot-weather

02/07/2025

A while ago I wrote a post about mindfulness and it received some lovely feedback so I thought I would write another one with a different example of an exercise to try.

To briefly recap, mindfulness is about being present and gently bringing that attention back when we notice that our attention has drifted.

Eating, drinking and cooking are everyday tasks that we can use mindfulness skills on. If you are somebody who has sensory difficulties and food is a trigger, then I would leave the following exercise until you have practised mindfulness skills in other areas first. Otherwise, this can be a nice exercise to use as you can try it during something that you already do every day.

The key is to use your senses to help you stay present and when it comes to food and drink, it is a great way of tapping into our sense of smell and taste. It can be helpful to pick a food -related task each day such as a morning cup of coffee, eating your lunch or cooking your evening meal. Try to remove distractions such as turning any music or the TV off and keeping your phone out of sight. Take a few minutes to really tap into your senses around the food or drink activity, for example, what colours and shapes can you see? What can you smell? What’s the temperature? What are the textures you can feel when you eat? What can you taste? What does it sound like when you bite it or when it’s frying in the pan?

Remember that at first, this will probably last about 10 seconds before your mind wanders. This is normal! When you notice that your mind has wandered, gently bring it back using your senses to connect with your experience. And in another 10 seconds, repeat this again as your mind will probably have wandered again. This attention training can be a very helpful skill in many areas. Your task is to notice when your mind wanders and bring it back, not to have an empty mind or for your mind to stay fully focused without wandering. Any extra enjoyment of your food, drink or cooking experience, is a bonus!

25/06/2025

Last week I wrote a post about the following quote:

"Do the best you can until you know better.
Then when you know better, do better"
Maya Angelou

Today I wanted to look at this quote again but from a different angle. I meet a lot of people who experience guilt over decisions that they have made in the past (myself included). Examples could include living a certain lifestyle that has now led to significant health problems, giving advice to people that has actually made things worse, parenting decisions you now regret or giving a strong opinion on something in the past that you do not believe any more. The list could go on!

In these moments, we forget that we did the best that we could with the information that we had at the time. Research changes our understanding of a lot of things, the world changes, we change as we age, our opinions on things change depending on our experiences and the people we meet. Instead of focusing on the guilt and past decisions, we can use this new information to do something different moving forward. And we can try to allow ourselves some forgiveness as we did not know then what we know now.

20/06/2025

I saw a quote from a presentation at the European Pain Federation's congress that has been on my mind a lot this week:

"Do the best you can until you know better.
Then when you know better, do better"
Maya Angelou

I could write an essay on why I like this quote and on how many different aspects of life this can apply to. For example, parenting, employment and health. Today, I want to focus on an aspect with a more psychological take on it - gaining a diagnosis or a family member/friend receiving a diagnosis.

There are a lot of difficult emotions and thoughts that happen when you or someone you love receives a diagnosis (this could be a physical health condition, a mental health condition or something else). Often I see people who struggle to make lifestyle changes to improve their condition. The root of this is usually complicated, but can include not wanting to change a behaviour they believe is "the best way" of doing something.

For example, with chronic pain, many people struggle to pace their activity levels. Perhaps they come from a family where there was a 'laundry day', so the "best" thing is to do all the laundry in one day to get it out of the way. But with chronic pain, this is a bad idea! It is much better for the body to spread out doing laundry through the week. I therefore think this quote can be helpful in order to take a pause and acknowledge that for this person, a 'laundry day' used to be best for them. Now they have received a diagnosis and know there is a better strategy for managing pain, they can try something different. (To add here that this is not an easy thing to do and requires a lot of time, patience, support and possibly therapy!)

This idea also applies to family and friends. For example, perhaps before someone's chronic pain diagnosis, it was believed that the best way to manage their loved ones pain was to rest (this used to be the recommendation a while ago). Therefore they encouraged their loved one with pain to rest a lot and did everything for them. Once their loved one receives their diagnosis, the temptation is to continue encouraging rest. However, now the advice for chronic pain has changed and is to not over-rest and to instead pace activity through the day. Using this quote, it can be helpful to take some time learning about the newest advice and trying to make an adjustment. Following this example, the person could encourage a loved one with chronic pain to go on a short walk instead of resting for hours on end.

30/05/2025

For those lucky enough to be jetting off on holiday over the summer, this post is for you!

If, like myself you have a chronic illness, plane travel can feel daunting. I wanted to share information about special assistance through airlines to show what support is available - you don't need to struggle. Support can be provided for physical disabilities, limited mobility and also for hidden disabilities.

Make sure you book this in advance with the airline to ensure you get the right support (but if you have a variable illness, you can request extra support on the day if needed and in my experience they will do their best to accommodate).

There are so many different types of support but here are a few examples:

- providing help to get around the airport (both UK and abroad)
- providing lanyards for hidden disabilities
- extra help through security and boarding
- step free access to the plane
- an extra 10kg hand luggage to carry prescription medication in (may be airline dependent)
- some airports may have quieter rooms to wait if you struggle with sensory difficulties
- priority boarding if you struggle to queue
- free seat allocation for you and a companion (may be airline dependent)

Each airline has their own information and I am not advocating one airline over the other, but if you would like further information, this is an informative website - https://www.jet2.com/en/assisted-travel

Happy holidays!

14/05/2025

May is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome awareness month, something that is important to me on both a professional and personal level. I wrote this blog a while back and thought it was a great time to re-post it. It is aimed at those with EDS whilst also giving an insight into what it feels like day to day to live with such a challenging health condition.

https://www.natalielouisetherapy.co.uk/blog/tomyfellowzebras

07/05/2025

Spring is a great time to work on mindfulness skills. Before you stop reading because you've rolled your eyes at the word 'mindfulness', let me explain what it really is and not what the media have turned it into!

The definition of mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn is "paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgementally".

Essentially what this means is learning how to just "be" in the present moment, without trying to change anything. It means tapping into our senses, noticing our thoughts come and go, noticing our emotions and urges without acting on them. It means choosing where to put our focus of attention instead of being on auto-pilot.

The reason I believe Spring is a great time to work on this skill is because there are so many lovely things to notice. Mindfulness is important for us in challenging moments too but when we are starting out, choosing pleasant situations can increase motivation to practice.

So next time you go on a walk, (even if that walk is just to the corner shop or to your car on the driveway), see if you can allow yourself 60 seconds to practice being mindful. Look around you at the emerging flowers, the new leaves on the trees, the colour of the sky and how the clouds move. Notice the temperature of the air and how it feels on your skin. Notice the sounds of people mowing the lawn, children happily playing or birds singing. And notice any thoughts that come to mind and refocus your attention on your senses without being annoyed at yourself for having the thoughts. Mindfulness is not about having an empty mind, but a mind that is present on what is going on in the here and now.

30/04/2025

Tips for pacing the "spring clean". As mentioned in my previous post, this time of year can be a big flare up trigger for people with chronic pain and fatigue. Pacing is complex and ideally, an individualised approach is the best way of handling it but here are some tips to get started:

- first of all - you do not have to do a spring clean! All the jobs that you may feel need doing at this time of year can be done at any time of the year. In an ideal world, you would have a list of what needed doing and spread out the chores in a balanced way throughout the year. Nicer weather lends itself to certain chores but other chores can be done in any weather

- write out the jobs that you want to do and break them down into smaller steps (see previous post)

- plan out the tasks you want to do and 'book' them into your diary. Try to avoid planning in tiring chores near other tiring activities and plan in a rest break afterwards

- try and notice what thoughts are driving you to do more than is helpful for your body. Words such as "should", "must" and "have to" trick us into thinking we cannot leave tasks for another day. Try rewording it to "I want to", "I would like to", "I feel the need to", which will help highlight that it is a choice to do them or not

- you do not have to finish a task that you start! One of the most common things I hear with regards to pacing is "I started it so I had to finish it". There are very few exceptions where stopping a task part way through would be catastrophic. It will probably be annoying and unsatisfying, but try to allow that feeling to be there in order to avoid a pain/fatigue flare up

- try not to do extra things on the days where you feel better, have more energy or less pain. It's a trap! Doing more will result in you being able to do less the next day (or two or three) and overall you will get less done. Try to balance out what needs doing and if you feel good one day, do something nice or restful instead of more chores. In essence, "less is more"

If the idea of pacing sounds overwhelming or you're reading this and thinking "but I do have to do it all now", please reach out for some more individualised support.

14/04/2025

We have now entered the time of year that a lot of people get the urge to "spring clean". The weather is improving and the evenings are longer and brighter, which can give us an energy boost. Our mood might also improve, especially if you struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

For those living with a health condition that results in chronic pain and/or fatigue, here is my warning about "spring cleaning" - this can be a recipe for a long flare-up!

When we think of a "spring clean", we may think emptying cupboards to clean them, moving furniture to reach places we don't usually clean, having a sort out of clothes and things we don't need anymore and the list goes on (and remember these tasks are on top of the usual cleaning chores!). These "spring cleaning" tasks can be satisfying and can trick us into wanting that sense of completeness by finishing the task that we started without a break. Our brains enjoy that sense of completeness and we can get the urge to start the next big task to get the same feeling. This feeling can override the small voice in our minds that says "don't do too much", "this will cause pain if you continue", "you're going to be exhausted tomorrow" etc.

If this feels familiar, next week I will share some tips on how to pace yourself with "spring cleaning" when you live with chronic pain and fatigue. For now, a great first step is to write a list of the tasks that you want to do in your "spring clean". For each task, break it down into smaller steps, here's an example:

Task = empty kitchen cupboards and clean the shelves

Task broken down = I have 5 cupboards with two shelves on each...

Empty kitchen cupboard 1 top shelf
Clean kitchen cupboard 1 top shelf
Empty kitchen cupboard 1 bottom shelf
Clean kitchen cupboard 1 bottom shelf
Return things to kitchen cupboard 1 top shelf
Return things to kitchen cupboard 1 bottom shelf
Etc...

This may seem excessive but trust me! By doing this, you are getting the sense of completeness when you can cross off each step of the task, which reduces the push to do the whole kitchen in one sitting. Breaking it down like this also helps highlight when you can take a rest before continuing. If you feel you can ask for an accept help, this also helps direct someone else as to what you need doing. More on this next week!

09/04/2025

Today I wanted to share one of my favourite analogies that I use regularly with my clients with a real life example.

The original analogy is "emotions are like the weather", however I also vary this for acute illnesses and flare ups - "illnesses/flare ups are like the weather". (This analogy works best with UK weather in mind!)

The idea is that the sky remains constant. Day by day, hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute the weather can change. There can be times when the clouds are so thick and dark and the rain so heavy we cannot see a hint of sky, but we know it is still there. And when the storm passes, we see the sky again.

In this analogy, you are the sky and the weather represents your emotions, illnesses and flare ups. Emotions change constantly and vary in intensity. Sometimes you may have a mild emotional rain shower or a few clouds pass over on a sunny day. Other days you may have strong emotional storms where their strength scares you. Regardless of the severity of the emotional weather, you are there still and the weather will change, it always does.

The reason I like this analogy is that it can give hope when things feel never-ending, it reminds us that whatever is happening is temporary and helps us see that this weather is something we have experienced before and seen the other side of. It can help us allow our emotions to be there without trying to avoid or get rid of them, which can actually be less exhausting than trying to struggle against them.

Over the last 11 days our household has been in the depths of a dreaded sickness bug and there were certainly points where things felt never ending. I used this analogy to help remind me that this illness would have an endpoint for us all, that sleepless nights were temporary and that we would be able to eat again! I also used it to remind me that the anxiety I felt about this illness would also pass so I could concentrate on getting better and not on fighting the anxiety. And this morning the storm finally passed and I can see the sky again.

I hope this helps you through your emotional/illness/flare up storms too.

Natalie Louise Therapy

15/08/2025

28/07/2025

11/07/2025

02/07/2025

25/06/2025

20/06/2025

30/05/2025

14/05/2025

07/05/2025

30/04/2025

14/04/2025

09/04/2025

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Monday	9:30am - 2:30pm
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