20/11/2025
Do you ever spiral over something tiny… then realise later it was your nervous system, not the situation?
Let’s talk about that.
Your brain isn’t dramatic.
Your brain is traumatised.
And when it doesn’t have answers, it will make them up.
Here’s what actually happens:
Something feels “off.”
A routine changes.
Someone replies slower.
You don’t get the reassurance you expected.
Silence hits.
Uncertainty hits harder.
And instantly your mind goes;
“There’s a problem.”
“They’re pulling away.”
“I’ve done something wrong.”
“I’m not wanted.”
“This is going to end.”
Not because any of this is true…
but because your nervous system is trying to protect you.
It learned that silence = danger.
Distance = rejection.
Changes = abandonment.
Uncertainty = prepare for impact.
So when something feels unfamiliar, your system panics and fills in the blanks with the worst-case scenario.
This isn’t overreacting.
This is a trauma response.
And if you’re a coach, you need to know how to interrupt this pattern in your clients.
You MUST teach them the difference between;
The facts.
And the story their nervous system created to feel safe.
When clients learn this skill, everything shifts:
Their relationships calm down.
Their decision-making improves.
Their confidence returns.
Their anxiety drops.
Their self-trust grows.
This is emotional leadership.
This is trauma-informed coaching.
This is the work we do inside The Clarity Circle.
I’ve put together a full Story vs. The Facts™ Coaching Bundle for you;
• The worksheet
• The trauma-informed coach script
• The full step-by-step process
• Questions to guide clients
• Awareness prompts
• Grounding and regulation steps
If you want the bundle as a downloadable PDF, drop an emoji below and send me a message.
I’ll send it straight to your inbox.
