24/11/2024
A photoshoot to capture my personality.. and what it unexpectedly captured (and has allowed to me to fully see) and revealed.. was the part of me that were/have been/are afraid.
It’s reflected to me the parts that hold fear, not separate nor wrong, just an aspect of the multi faceted, multi dimensional human being that I am. Parts that I am in full acceptance of and love on even harder.
These images capture how I felt when I was in an abusive relationship. Hello functional freeze!
They reflect back the fear of fully letting life and love in again.
When I look at these; I see the parts that are simultaneously afraid of losing and of winning. Of failure and success.
But who will I lose along the way?
Myself.. my loved ones.
The part of me that started a new life just 2 years ago, running a business, serving humans, putting her own feet in the ground and showing up no matter how unsure of herself she was and no matter what it took.
Both destruction and liberation.
And, the fear of being seen.
But what if they see this and it’s not liked, accepted or loved? What if it’s rejected, hated or abandoned.
Yet, and, there’s courage, there’s innocence, there’s softness within parts, and an absolute do not f**k with me in others. There’s, love.
So let me love every inch, ounce, crevice of what I see here.
This is why I love photoshoots, whilst there is an intention and reason why behind this shoot, it most definitely opened me up in ways I didn’t know I needed or imagined.
And gave me an opportunity to see (and feel myself) in ways in which I had yet fully recognised.
What’s also fascinating, is that although this was only 8 weeks ago, the deepening, widening and opening I’ve felt and experienced within myself since then, almost makes these pictures unrecognisable.
Let’s see what the next shoot reveals, shall we.
In honest love,
🖤 A x