Dan Roberts, Psychotherapist, Writer & Teacher

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Dan Roberts, Psychotherapist, Writer & Teacher

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Psychotherapist, Writer & Teacher 🔹 Integrative Trauma Therapist 🔹 Advanced Accredited Schema Therapist 🔹 Internal Family Systems Therapist 🔹 Meditation Teacher for Insight Timer

21/01/2026

If you didn’t get to have fun as a kid – perhaps growing up in a very academic, unemotional family – could you create opportunities for fun, frivolity and play in your life?

Watch more comedy, go on funfair rides, try an improv class – seek moments of joy, for you and your inner child, who is craving a bit more playfulness and childish silliness!

20/01/2026

If you didn’t get seen and heard as a child, it’s important to surround yourself with people who get you. In some ways this is common sense, but iIf you have some friends who get you and others less so, spend more time with the first group, let them be the ones you are vulnerable with, to whom you reach out for support in hard times. 💫

mindfulness therapy psychology mentalhealth IFS danroberts integrativetraumatherapy healyourtrauma

19/01/2026

Every kid deserves to be loved, cherished and allowed to flourish. If any of those things didn’t happen for you, that’s deeply unfair. I very much hope you can start getting some of those needs met now. ❤️

mindfulness therapy psychology mentalhealth IFS danroberts integrativetraumatherapy healyourtrauma

16/01/2026

Wishing you a calm and restful weekend ahead. 🙏🏼

15/01/2026

A metaphor that seems to resonate with my clients when their Emotional Deprivation schema is active, is like having a hole in your chest that can never be filled, however much love, warmth, support or validation you get.

You might experience a powerful hunger or yearning for these key emotional nutrients you didn’t get as a child, so you now have greater needs than people without this schema. But these needs can be met, over time, both by your wise, compassionate Self and by fostering loving, supportive relationships with the people in your life.

14/01/2026

If any of these core needs were not met for you as a child, that would have been painful and possibly caused long-lasting difficulties. It would have led to the formation of one or more schemas, which profoundly affect the way you think, feel and behave as an adult. ❤️

13/01/2026

Schemas are neural networks in the brain holding information, which comprises ways of thinking, feeling, body sensations, memories and beliefs. When the schema gets triggered, it can also influence your behaviour in all sorts of ways. And the schema that forms when we experience neglect is called Emotional Deprivation.

This is a tricky schema to notice, yourself, because its signature is the absence of good things, rather than the presence of bad things. As you learn about it you will begin to notice when it’s triggered, then adopt helpful ways of changing and weakening this schema, so it doesn’t have such a detrimental effect on your life.

12/01/2026

When you think of a child being physically neglected, it’s easy to understand what that looks like.

It might be harder to understand a child experiencing emotional neglect, partly, as I often say to my clients, because this is about the absence of good things rather than the presence of bad ones.

The long-lasting impact of this is also hard to detect in yourself as an adult, because you may not know what you never had. ❤️‍🩹

09/01/2026

If you are suffering right now for any reason, sending you love, metta and healing thoughts.❤️

08/01/2026

Especially with the louder, harsher, more aggressive Critics, we often need to start by setting some boundaries. This takes some coaching and a great deal of practice, because when you start responding to your Critic the impulse is to fight back – if they swear at you and call you names, you may (very understandably) want to shout and swear and name-call right back at them.

Instead, thinking of that Critic as a person giving you a hard time, the energy that seems to work best is calm, firm and assertive.

07/01/2026

One message I always give my clients is that Inner Critics are strong, stubborn and determined, because they are trying to protect you from a (real or imagined) disaster.

They are not bad, just misguided. But, as with a real person, it’s not acceptable for anyone to shout, swear or be abusive to you.

06/01/2026

Most Critics try to motivate you with tough love: Try Harder! Do better! Push on through the pain! And their aim is also protective, as they want you to try harder so you don’t fail, get judged and criticised by significant others, then feel the hurt and shame that triggers.

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London

Website

https://www.danroberts.com/

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