28/08/2023
This Saturday I am getting married
It's made me reflect on relationships and the challenges I have seen in myself and my clients.
Our relationships are impacted by the dynamics we see in our families growing up. How our parents have treated each other will pave the foundation for how we will interact with our partners.
In my upbringing, my father was not always present or available for emotional support. This created a belief in me that "men have no feelings". As a child, this belief helped me navigate my family dynamic. I became very independent, self-reliant and proactive about my problems. But as I got older, that independence became the barrier towards creating meaningful relationships, with men and my partner. I had to learn to be vulnerable in relationships. I had to overcome that past pain and learn that there are some men I can trust in the world, and who would care for me and support me.
And that was terrifying!
Because it involved taking the risk that I would get hurt.
But this was necessary for my growth.
People spend a lot of time planning their wedding and very little time planning their relationship and how they will build a future together. I have heard of women who will spend years planning their wedding party, their dress and decorations and how perfect they want everything to be. But they know very little about their husband and the life they wanted to build together.
Here is some truth that society and Hollywood won't tell you. Real relationships require work. There is no smile and happily ever after. The relationships will bring all the past pain to the surface and they will force us to have those hard conversations. Those feelings of love and butterflies that you have at the beginning will fade and the process will be scary. And as you live together you will be tempted to avoid the hard topics and the pain. But these topics are exactly what you need to heal and learn to work together. As you live together communication, self-awareness and a willingness to come back to the table, will be key in building a wonderful relationship and navigating the hard times.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, learning about your beliefs, the way you see relationships and your patterns will help you create a foundation for the relationships you have. Not just in a marriage, but also with your family, children and friends around you.
Here is the good news!
I can help you to overcome the pain of your past, understand limiting beliefs and create healthier relationships in your life. Hypnotherapy can help you tap into your subconscious mind and reprogram the painful experiences of your past. This will help you have healthier relationships, increase your self-awareness and feel safe in yourself to have hard conversations with your partner.
Message me to learn more!
