21/02/2026
Last year I started Self-Regulation Club.
I started this circle for people to build better self-regulation tools.
I'd been learning about polyvagal theory, but found the science part difficult to navigate. In my search I stumbled on Deb Dana's work. She had taken Stephen Porges' work and made it more tangible and accessible in the therapy room.
I did a course, and I found that it helped build confidence and autonomy for people. It didn't stop the nervous system playing its role. It was simply teaching people that they didn't have to stay stuck in a particular state.
As with all things, the theory is changing, and models are being questioned. There may be better ways to explain the system that don't discount our very varied human existence and inadventantly cause shame and hierarchical systems around how an individual may experience themselves.
It's a lot to navigate, but I want to reassure you that I'm listening and processing in the background.
Whilst reflecting, I realise what I'd set out to do with self-regulation club had actually evolved. I never actually taught the tools for self- regulation.
This is what happened naturally instead:
I created a safe and non judgemental space to talk, explore, and express
Through our gatherings, we benefited from co- regulation and developed connection and in some cases, reshaped our experiences with connection
Everyone was welcomed to show up as they were and not treated like a victim for feeling a certain way. Just listened to.
We ate together, shared stories, and developed together.
People enjoyed creating things with little activities they found meaning in and used their senses to engage.
People experienced relaxation, not by force but by slowly lowering their barriers each time they attended.
One thing about the theory that hasn't changed is our need for safety and connection.
Does the name of our circle need to change? Perhaps, but I can't make that decision alone.
What the circle offers, I believe, is still very valuable
Please bare with me whilst this change is navigated 💜💫