Thereafter Farewells, London (2026)

05/01/2026

I’Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite”
Irish for, ‘I told you I was ill’, Spike Milligan’s epitaph and one of the most famous epitaphs inscribed 🪦

Starting the year with a touch of humour 😊
New Years, new moons, plotting new ventures for the year ahead…

How we remember people, how we honour life and anchor our loss is becoming even more prevalent in my work. As we all know, saying goodbye is not a one day event. So here’s to embracing life, all it brings, the ups the downs and the invertible end.
We’re not here to dwell on death but here’s to all life brings.

Happy 2026 Y’all 💫
Whether you’re strolling, trotting or galloping in to the year of the horse, enjoy the ride.
It may be cold out side but keeping it warm in the heart

- An honest approach to love, loss and life as it continues.

Spike Milligan
Terence Alan “Spike” Milligan (16 April 1918 – 27 February 2002) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet, playwright and actor. Voted one of the funniest comedians of the last millennia. Best known for his creation and participation, ‘The Goon Show’ BBC radio comedy

Should anyone scrolling my feed that’s too young to know of Spike Milligan, I highly recommend you take a little dive.
If you’re a fan of visiting graveyards, Spike’s gravestone can be visited in the peaceful grounds, German St, Winchelsea

If you were to have a gravestone, physical or digital, what would it say?

16/12/2025

Tradition & Modernity: A beautiful embrace

When applied in the funeral industry the word, ‘Traditional’ is often referring to men in black, fleets of black shiny cars and long faces of mourning.

In our increasingly secular society, religious rituals are being replaced with personalisation as we seek to create meaning in ways that resonate with who we are today.

Whether you opt for a full religious service or a more secular, personalised approach they are in essence the same:

💫 A coming together, a gathering in honour of a life
📙 Tributes and readings.
🎶 Music
⚰️ Rituals in the presence of the coffin

When tradition meets with modernity something very special can happen. A holding, with colour & light.

The work of Thereafter is often described as non-traditional as we tailor the funeral to suit individual needs and with the environment in mind, promote sustainable choices 🌿 But compared to the experience and outcomes of a Direct Cremation our work is essentially traditional; we encourage people to spend time with their person, be present. come together.

So the narrative is shifting. The language around death, dying and the funeral is changing.

Are Thereafter ‘non-traditional traditionalist’?
Or are are ‘Normalists’ as we work to make one of the most transformative experiences we go through, relevant and right in todays world

No one has ever really described my work as normal but this is all relative.
Oh the magical power of language.....

If you’ve time, please share your thoughts below..

📸 Hamdwoven English Wicker coffin by the brilliant
💐
⛪️ as featured 🎬
Many thanks to the family and friends for their consent to use these photos 🙏

20/08/2025

When CNN interviewed a dead 17-year-old this week, we crossed a threshold humanity has been approaching for millennia.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/aug/08/journalist-ai-interview-dead-child-joaquin-oliver

The ancients created shrines, death masks, effigies and paintings to preserve the deceased's essence. Victorians photographed their dead children posed as if sleeping. We keep voicemails, re-read old texts, visit graves to share news. For thousands of years, humans have created artifacts and rituals to maintain connection across the boundary of death.

The impulse to honour and converse with our ancestors is profoundly human - perhaps one of the things that makes us most human!

I've been discussing AI in grief quite a lot over the past month. It really is a real mixed bag of can it help or hinder grief?
The fact is AI is here so a bit like a lot of change implemented by tech in end of life, we need to learn to adapt, accept and create parameters where we can -

The issue ofc is that use of AI is often a solo journey rather than a shared experience - it doesn't have to be when used well and creatively but it often is. Grief hits hard when sitting up late at night, on your own, so if there are tools to help you, talk to, it's a very easy road to go down. This all sits hand in hand with the whole education, and dare-I-say re-humanising of death and grieving within our culture. Oh the irony :)

Back to the CNN interview and the digital creation of our dead, perhaps just a couple of questions to begin:
1) Who owns the memory of the person recreated?
2) Ahead of their death, should we request consent from the deceased if they are happy / wish to continue once their physical mortal being has died.

With AI so new to the table of grief, is it something that aids very initial stages and after a period of time it's comfort, use will wane? There is ofc the possibility that those who experience prolonged grief will never move on with their loss.
A bit like with Direct Cremation, the journey and outcomes of not moving through the process of grief has yet to unravel.

Could AI assist those who have had a Direct Cremation? Now That Is Controversial! Answers on a postcard please 😉

21/05/2025

The grounds at West Herts Crematorium are verging on psychedelic, in a very good way 🌺

The beauty of being able to work remotely means i explore and experience an array of environments up and down the country. Some crematoria a undeniably bleak but West Herts, I salute you 🫡

Every corner turned there’s yet another burst of colour
Rhododendrons and Azaleasin full utter glory. Quite amazing and a very natural energy changer - just what’s required on a big day

20/05/2025

The women a BAWE (British Association of Women Entrepreneurs) are known for holding their ground and excelling in business, but when it comes to conversations around death and end of life, can the same be said?

I'm looking forward to hosting a BAWE LIVE LOUNGE this coming Thursday, 22nd May, 3pm.

I'll be in conversation Siobhan Miles-Moores, aka Lune Valley Celebrant for a relaxed, open dialogue, a sharing of information to equip and empower decisions around end of life and planning ahead.

This is a BAWE members only event. If you do wish for a more intimate conversation

Why not book a call?
https://calendly.com/contact-thereafter

We're always very happy to assist in getting thought and wishes in line, eradicate crazy myths and the fear around death and dying and ideally leave you feeling more prepared, whatever the next day holds.

09/05/2025

We like putting the words ‘beautiful’ and ‘funeral’ together, that’s not morbid it’s healthy, and Abney Park is an easy place to be able to do so.

🌳 The chapel is nestled in the extraordinary park/ cemetery, steeped in history, The vast array of graves are a joy for the senses whilst informing us of our attitude and relationship to death over the years:. I find the culture of death in society fascinating.and the layers of hidden histories of people and communities are immense.

🕊️Can you believe the grounds team have now discovered, archived and mapped 200,000 people buried in Abney Park Cemetery 👀

💀 Amongst the avenues and woodlands packed with elaborate tombstones, mass public graves were clearly more frequent than once known.

As a space for ceremonial gatherings the Chapel certainly a gem: Flexible, light, airy. You can take your time, and breathe. There’s no ‘conveyor belt’ feeling here..

🖤 The Chapel has always been non-denominational to allow all members of Hackney communities to be welcome. You can feel it in the brickwork

🕊️ Fact: As a public mortuary chapel anyone could attend a funeral, sit up in the public balcony looking down into the view the ceremony.

✝️ The cross like architecture was specifically so to allow the grieving family and friends to sit in the short sides of the cross out of view from the public eyes 🖤

🪦Should you want to know more of Abney’s rich hidden history I can highly recommend ABNEY UNEARTHED,

Hackney Unearthed Exhibition at Hackney Archives,
James Library, Dalston Square, Dalston CLR, London E8 3BQ

Open Wednesdays to Fridays,
10am-6pm

0fc if you’d like to discuss holding a funeral or memorial gathering at Abney Park or any other unique space please do get in touch. Always happy to assist
📞 link in bio ♥️

07/05/2025

The Culture of Dying Matters

The funeral is most often an event we don’t want to be arranging, especially when you think you have to enter the weird and scary world of death. Death really isn’t weird. It’s the structure that’s been created around it that is.

I 1000% agree that death is not easy but I do believe we can make it easier and a little more ’normal’ by talking about it, bringing it out from behind closed doors and reclaiming it from the grips of inherited traditions.
I am quite au fait with the dead but I confess some high-street funeral parlours even give me the heebie-jeebies. There’s just no need for it to be so alienating for who we are today.

It is these inherited traditions, created to mask and ‘protect us’ from death that feed the denial and fear of death. By reshaping the funeral and repositioning death within our language, culture and physical space in society, we can and will build much healthier relationships with our natural end and equally as importantly, how we move forward living with loss.

This week is Dying Matters Awareness Week - This years theme, The Culture of Dying Matters
Established by Hospice UK this annual event was created to encourage and facilitate conversions and provide support around death and dying. Communities across the UK come together to break the stigma around death, dying and grief. Visit their website to find events and support networks near you.

https://www.hospiceuk.org/our-campaigns/dying-matters

28/04/2025

Caught in the act 😊

As a funeral director I sometimes get my nuckles wrapped by delivering the ceremony as well as it’s not considered the done thing.

Thereafter take enormous pride in delivering Ceremony led funerals.

Funerals are not just cars and logistics, it’s all the rest around these that make a funeral meaningful and memorable.

Style and tone are two things I talk about a lot when putting a funeral together. Each funeral is tailored to individual needs. Quite often the family lead in the main part of the ceremony, they just need guidance and support.

I don’t always officiate. There’s a vast pool of celebrants, ministers, inter-faith ministers to suit as required.

Creating and seeing a funeral take shape in a way that’s right is quite wonderful.

How do we know that we’re doing a good job?

We’ll always speak with the family the night before and if they say,

“Bizarrely, we’re looking forward to tomorrow”
then I know we’ve got the family in the family in a good place.

22/04/2025

Good Eggs!
We’re incredibly proud of our team🤍

Pallbearers: those who carry the coffin

Bearing a coffin is an enormous privilege. Many families and friends see this as their final gift, a ritual of love and respect. For some, it’s just too much. As always, such decisions are personal choice. Needles to say, we have it covered with a loyal and dedicated team.

With pride, attention to detail we have a wonderful pool of folk to select a team right for the family in hand. Looking sharp, walking with pride and focused attention is a given.

We will always gather together ahead of the service so the guys know the name and a little about the person whose ceremony we are holding.
We enjoy looking after our crew as much as we do our clients. Theres no denying it, the success of the work we do starts with the team.

Here the guys are bearing the new Mycelium cocoon, physically and emotionally supporting people and our planet 🍄‍🟫🌎

16/04/2025

Mushrooms and mirror balls, a perfect combination in our books 🍄‍🟫🪩

When new tech meets, greets and nurtures nature -
Happy Days. 🌿

We’re thrilled to be introducing the mycelium living cocoon to our options for sustainable coffins.

The Living Cocoon is a joy to behold. Harnessing the magic of the mushroom network and the power of the mycelium 🍄

🌱 100% natural, made from mushroom and recycled h**p fibres
🌎 Biodegradable, in 45 days it will completely degrade into the earth
🌳 Nourishing and nurturing the soil and the ecosystem around it

Honouring life in death and death in life 💫 protecting the environment for future generations

07/04/2025

What happens when two progressive funeral directors get together?

Such a joyful weekend up in Todmorden with the time to catch up Rosie and see their truly beautiful space.
By no means a high street shop front. The old post office and sorting office in fantastic Yorkshire stone makes for the most beautiful of space for ceremony, whether it be the funeral ceremony itself or the very precious, raw time in the lead up to said funeral.

It’s healthy, and reassuring to know that there is some really great work being done to deliver sensitive, appropriate funerals tailored for individual needs.

Great long chats, and giggles, about the industry, where the it’s at, where it’s heading, the challenges and the rewards of working in an environment that is resistant to change.
Thankfully, things are on the move and I’m delighted to be a part of that change.

20/03/2025

Happy Spring Equinox ☀️

As the sun crosses the celestial equator sun’s rays are distributed equally between the northern and southern hemispheres. The Spring Equinox is a day of balance of light and dark, a day of renewal and new beginnings 🌱

Abney Park Cemetery was beaming with light and nature joyously doing it’s magical thing morning. A beautiful reminder that after death, there is life. 🍃

‘Honouring life in death and death in life’,
an ethos I live by, not just in my work.

To honour the Equinox and harness its restorative energies give yourself some time, why not say the name of the person/ people you have lost to keep them present as you move forward.

Maybe just watering the garden nurtures your soul. Will you plant a seed, take a walk? Give you and your ancestors even is just a moment of your time as we give a very warm welcome to the 1st day of spring 🌼

Abney Park really is looking magnificent. The Chapel is stunning place to celebrate life and death. You can read more about this on our website. Whether for now or future plans. It’s good to know your options
Link in bio ♥️👆

Thereafter Farewells

05/01/2026

16/12/2025

20/08/2025

21/05/2025

20/05/2025

09/05/2025

07/05/2025

28/04/2025

22/04/2025

16/04/2025

07/04/2025

20/03/2025

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