11/01/2026
Surviving the excesses of your heart & mind is a tricky business! Overthinking tries to use pure logic to understand the self and others. As a result, your thoughts go round and round, seeking a conclusion. It should work, right? But it doesn’t and thoughts tend to just spin endlessly, like an infinite wash cycle. Why? Probably because thinking isn’t feeling and the logical approach seeks to suppress feelings and trust in figuring things out without allowing emotions into the mix.
And then there’s the heart-led approach - feeling everything intensely but then living in a permanent state of conflicted overwhelm as a result. When you feel everything without subjecting those feelings to your critical faculties, you can wind up believing that every feeling is true and that can be very scary! It’s normal to have a lot of conflicting feelings but if you’re depending on those alone to help you navigate your life you’re going to feel pretty wrung out and stuck, because feelings can often produce so much ambivalence that it can be very hard to work out what to do!!
So, what’s the answer then?
I reckon it’s learning to calm the heart and the mind by giving equal time and weight to BOTH. Instead of allowing one to dominate the other, you can achieve balance by listening to your heart - feeling and then VALIDATING every emotion first; then engaging your brain and recognising that while valid, not every feeling is a fact or worth acting on. Reality-testing your feelings, (post-validation,) helps you to balance out and weigh up emotional responses without getting swept away in an emotional tide.
You can learn to do this on your own - but it’s often a bit difficult alone. Most of us benefit from help in this area, at least at first.
Therapy can be a great place to learn how to balance the demands of heart and mind. You have access to a person who cares about how you feel (and won’t dismiss those feelings, or let you dismiss them either!) but will also gently encourage you to explore those feelings and under-pin them with logic and reason. What eventually emerges is a balanced approach, which is emotionally informed and realistic too - the holy grail in internal processing.
It’s not always an easy thing to do but stick stuck at it and you’ll get there xx
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