Marta Benko - Clinical & Health Psychologist

29/12/2025

This stretch between Christmas and New Year can feel oddly disorienting.
Days blur. Routines loosen. Emotions surface quietly.

In schema therapy, we understand moments like this as important.
When pressure drops — even briefly — there’s often more room for parts of us that don’t get much airtime during the year.

One of those parts is linked to a basic emotional need: spontaneity and play.
Not forced fun.
Not productivity disguised as rest.
But small moments of lightness that don’t need a purpose.

This is also how the Happy Child develops — the part of us that feels safe enough to enjoy, be curious, laugh, or simply feel present.

For many adults, this part learned to stay in the background.
Life became serious early.
Joy had conditions.
Play felt indulgent or embarrassing.

But it didn’t disappear.
It often shows up in these quieter, in-between days — when no one is asking much of us.

✨ A few gentle ways to invite it back this week:
– Doing something pointless but enjoyable
– Laughing at something silly without correcting yourself
– Moving your body without tracking or improving
– Letting a moment be light, even if life isn’t

In therapy, we don’t chase happiness.
We create the conditions where joy feels safe again — steady, grounded, and real.

If this time of year brings up a longing for more ease, play, or aliveness, that’s something we can work with — gently and at your pace.

📍 North London (Hampstead & Stoke Newington)
🌍 Online internationally
💌 info@martabenko.com
🌐 martabenko.com
🔗 Psychology Today

✨ Save this if these days feel strangely tender — or share it with someone who might recognise this space too.






NorthLondonTherapist
OnlineTherapyWorldwide

26/12/2025

At Christmas, many of us are surrounded by lights, music, and reminders of childhood — and yet joy can feel strangely distant.

In schema therapy, spontaneity and play is a basic emotional need.
It’s the part of us that can be silly without embarrassment, joyful without justification, and present without needing to perform.

For many people, this part learned to step back early.
Maybe being playful wasn’t encouraged.
Maybe it felt unsafe.
Maybe responsibility came too soon.

So joy became conditional.
Something to earn.
Something to be careful with.

But that part doesn’t disappear.
It waits — often showing up quietly at this time of year.

Honouring this need doesn’t mean pretending life is easy or pain-free.
It means allowing small moments of lightness again, without criticising yourself for them.

✨ Laughing at something daft
✨ Dancing badly in the kitchen
✨ Letting yourself enjoy the sparkle
✨ Being silly without feeling embarrassed

In schema therapy, we gently reconnect with this part — not to relive childhood, but to bring vitality, creativity, and emotional fullness into adult life.

This Christmas, if you can, do one small thing for her.
The part of you that still knows how to feel wonder — and doesn’t need permission.

📍 North London (Hampstead & Stoke Newington)
🌍 Online internationally
💌 info@martabenko.com
🌐 martabenko.com
🔗 Psychology Today link in bio

✨ Save this if it speaks to you — or share it with someone who needs permission to feel lighter again.

26/11/2025

23/11/2025

As the evenings get darker, we naturally slow down — but our minds often speed up.
Worries surface, the room feels quieter, and the day’s emotions finally have space to land.

An evening ritual doesn’t have to be elaborate.
It’s simply a way of telling your nervous system:
“You can stop now. You’re safe enough to rest.”

🌙 A few small grounding ideas for tonight:
– Light a candle and let the room soften
– Sip something warm and calming
– Put your phone away earlier than usual
– Warm shower to settle the body
– Wrap yourself in something cosy
– Check in with someone you trust
– Slow breathing for 60 seconds

These tiny choices build a sense of safety — and safety is what your mind needs to sleep well and start the week with clarity instead of tension.

If your evenings often feel heavy or overstimulating, therapy can help you find steadier rhythms, regulate emotions, and reconnect with a calmer version of yourself.

📍 North London (Hampstead & Stoke Newington) & Online
💌 info@martabenko.com
🌐 martabenko.com
🔗 Psychology Today

✨ Save this for the darker evenings ahead.

💫 Share with someone who needs a gentler Sunday night.

05/10/2025

Sundays are for slowing down.
For remembering that not every battle is yours to fight.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for your mental health —
is to choose peace over proving your point,
over re-explaining yourself,
over engaging with noise that doesn’t serve your calm.

In my clinical work, I often see how hard it can be to let go —
especially if you’ve grown up believing you must always fix, help, or defend.
But peace is not avoidance.
It’s self-protection, clarity, maturity.

🌿 A gentle reminder for today:
You can be kind and have boundaries.
You can care and choose silence.
You can step back and still be strong.

If this resonates, follow for more psychology-based reflections, mental health insights, and compassionate strategies to protect your peace.

📍North London, UK | Online worldwide
🔗 Psychology Today Profile: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/marta-k-benko-london/1100264
🌐 martabenko.com

04/10/2025

Starting uni is exciting, but it can also feel lonely, overwhelming, and homesick.
Missing your friends, your family, your pets… even your bed or your favourite meal — it’s all normal.

✨ Adjustment takes time. It’s not about “snapping out of it.” You’re building a new chapter.

💡 Practical tip: Bring a small “comfort from home” into your new space — a blanket, photos, your favourite mug. Little anchors can make a big difference.

And if the sadness, worry, or overwhelm starts to feel too heavy — remember, you don’t have to go through it alone. I support young people in London and online to build resilience, confidence, and balance through life transitions like these.

👉 Tag a friend starting uni who needs to hear this.
👉 Follow for tools on navigating life’s challenges with resilience and compassion.

📧 info@martabenko.com
📍 Hampstead & Stoke Newington, North London + online internationally
🔗 More about me: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/marta-k-benko-london/1100264