22/09/2021
Happy Equinox beautiful souls ππ»
I've been pretty darn ill the past few days, so after looking after my little one who was ill before me I haven't left the house for a week π± That = a LOT of time for reflection and also a struggle to feel connected to the Divine when my head feels like it's cracking open π
But with this illness comes a deep deep healing. I am suffering physically with something I had as a chronic condition 12 years ago, triggered by the incredibly toxic contraceptive implant I had but tracing back to my child sexual abuse (and threading through to past lives before that and really my original descent from the higher dimensions into human form)...
What is the emotional component underlying this illness? Shame. I have been talking about this with a friend and learning so much as I unpack my own healing around it. My partner yesterday gave me some affirmations for health, and one of them was 'I am Holy, Pure and Perfect'. And it struck a cord so deeply in me, that I didn't feel that I was holy or pure. Definitely not perfect haha π And I traced this feeling back to my dad abusing me, and the feeling that I had somehow brought it on myself (as a toddler, possibly even at the age before I was able to speak or walk, I don't know exactly when it started). The feeling that I was manipulative, that I somehow lured my dad into abusing me, that I am still tarnished and stained.
When we are innocent, and something traumatic happens to us that we do not have the tools and abilities to deal with (either through being young as a human or pure as a higher dimensional soul who hasn't experienced cruelty before), we naturally and automatically point the finger at ourselves. How could this have happened? What did I do to make this happen? I must have caused this myself...
I was shown the full moon yesterday and the equinox today as being two pillars and we are passing through a metaphysical gateway. We are shedding cloaks of emotions, beliefs and paradigms that have been weighing us down. As you step through today you can work with this imagery consciously. We have the opportunity today to drop a heavy weight, ... Continued in comments ππ»