12/08/2024
IT’S NOT JUST RIDING MY BIKE
Today, I woke up at 5am because of a nightmare. I tried to fall asleep again but it was impossible. My thoughts started to come and they were pretty intense. They were all about the not so positive things that could occur in my near future and regrets about my latest decisions. At some point I started to feel very overwhelmed but my own thoughts so I couldn’t stay in bed anymore. I had to move. I opened the door, jumped on my bike and realised I was still wearing my pijamas. I didn’t mind at all and decided not to go back inside the house to get changed.
I was desperate to have some time for myself. I cried while pedalling towards the river to catch the sunrise, and cried much more when I stoped to actually see the sun coming up and the amazing pink sky. And just after that, I was feeling good again.
I continued cycling and thinking: how easy is to give myself what I need and how easy is for me to forget about it too.
Today, I was able to go far away, to see the sunrise, to be alone, to be in silence, to clear my mind and to ride my bike too and it feels wonderful.