30/11/2025
We know so many of you will sadly resonate with this one…
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When the relationship ends, a healthy father co parents with respect.
A narcissistic father does the opposite. His goal is not harmony, it is control.
These signs explain why the aftermath feels like emotional warfare.
1️⃣ He turns co parenting into punishment
Instead of working together, he withholds information, changes plans last minute, and creates chaos to keep you unsettled. It is never about the child, it is about keeping power over you.
2️⃣ He uses the children as tools
He becomes overly charming with them when he wants to hurt you and distant when he wants to make you look like the problem. The affection is inconsistent because the intention is manipulation, not bonding.
3️⃣ He rewrites the story to protect his image
He tells people he left because you were difficult. He paints himself as the devoted father while conveniently forgetting the years he did not show up. His reputation matters more than the truth.
4️⃣ He competes with your healing
If you move forward, he becomes jealous. If you are struggling, he becomes smug. Your happiness threatens him, your pain feeds him, and your peace confuses him.
5️⃣ He pretends to care for the children while attacking you
He will criticise your parenting, question your choices, and act like the stable one, yet contribute nothing consistent to the emotional wellbeing of the children. The performance is for others, never for them.
How to protect yourself
Lower your expectations, set firm boundaries, stay child focused, and remove yourself from emotional traps. Document everything, guard your peace, and let his behaviour reveal him without your involvement.
My final thought
A narcissistic father does not fail because you left. He fails because he cannot see that co parenting is about the children, not his ego.
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