21/05/2025
Q: How do I develop my child’s self-esteem?
A: Try to validate the feelings beneath their negative self-talk rather than correcting them. If a child believes that they are bad at something, no amount of telling them otherwise will convince them, but becoming more accepting of their feelings may help them integrate these difficult feelings and become more resilient to setbacks.
👉 Modelling positive self-talk and stepping outside your comfort zone is really powerful, as children pick up on parental criticism and low self-esteem patterns. It’s a good idea to pay attention to praise in general, ensuring that it is specific and reserved for instances where you notice your child trying something new or making an effort, rather than in positive outcomes or their appearance, as this can set children up for a fall when things don’t go so well or look so good. You want to avoid giving them a sense that their worth is conditional.
👉 Finally, work on your attachment with your child. Develop the bond that you have, expressing the unconditional positive regard you feel for them, no matter how well or badly they are doing or behaving. Feeling important and internalising a sense of unconditional positive regard from one’s parents is the basis of self-esteem. This can be generated by making time for them, entering into their world of play, taking interest in their passions, and delighting in their company and achievements.
Give these ideas a try and let us know how you get on.
Read the full blog here: https://childintime.co.uk/what-questions-do-parents-ask-our-therapists-most/
