Melanie Bearne Clinical Hypnotherapy & EFT

01/11/2023

ARE WE SAFE YET?

When working to help clients to heal from trauma, the first thing we really need to know is this. Are you safe?

Are you safe now?

Whatever has occurred, whatever is happening, whatever the fallout, are you in a safe place to begin to process and heal now?

And here is my worry. The world isn’t feeling like a very safe place right now.

We fell into Covid and lock-down. Many people lost family members to a disease that seemingly came out of the blue and we didn’t know where from. We were divided and separated and scared.

We came out of lock-down and were told to ‘eat out to help out’ and it was time to move on with our lives. Time to heal.

Only then came a cost of living crisis. A million children in the UK living in destitution. Car fuel too pricey to use and heating too draining on family finances to turn on. Buy your electric blanket, heat the person not the house, don’t use the oven, huddle close.

And while poverty still bites we have war and news channels focussed entirely on devastation and cruelty. Who said what, who did what, who is at fault.

The world is burning and then flooding and then burning again. The spring bulbs just came up in October.

It’s as though we have been collectively spun up and shot out over the past few years. Reeling from one disaster and collective fear to another. Our hearts racing, our stomachs in our mouths.

So, I ask, are you safe now?

Mums needing to heal from birth trauma. Families needing to heal from bereavement. People reeling from anxiety and depression.
Are you safe to do the work now?
And unless we learn to disconnect from much of what is happening, I don’t believe that we are.

Is this a post with answers? Not really, it’s not meant to be.
I just want to say that if healing is taking time, then that is understandable. If you need to stop and catch your breath please notice that and do so.

Breathe in from your finger tips and up to the top of your head, and then breathe out through your head and all the way down to the soles of your feet. Feel your solid body and the air that surrounds it. Disconnect from the socials, don’t be afraid to switch the news off, do what you need to find a safe space for you.

Because only from there can we individually, collectively and healthily move forwards.

18/10/2023

Lovely ones! I am back in person!
I know, I know.. it has taken forever, but I have two new and very wonderful therapy room spaces in Clapham, SW11 and Wimbledon, SW19.
Head on over to the shiny new website for days/times and booking.
Of course, Zoom appointments are still available for those of you not based in London, UK.
Melanie x

Change Your Thoughts And You Change Your World The beneficial effects of hypnotherapy & EFT will help you to overcome personal challenges and create lasting positive change in your life. What can I treat?Here are some of the issues that we can work on together to ensure that you are happier and livi...

12/01/2023

It’s absolutely pouring outside.
Grey and old.
So, I have lit a candle scented with orange which is now warming the room with soft light and citrus smell.
Small things.

Photo courtesy of

10/01/2023

I love this. Yes, to all of it.
January need not be hard.
Be gentle to yourself 💕

Posted • Some ways to soften your January.

(I did every single one today).

Annie x

20/12/2022

I can’t love this enough 💕💕
Show that beautiful body of yours some love and respect this Christmas 🎄

Posted •

Tis the season to be jolly... Stressed about our bodies (amongst other things). Yes, it's the for my annual rant about conflicting pressures at this time of year 🙌🏻

We can spend all year at war with our bodies and the festive period poses all manner of challenges.

Whilst encouraged to feast on fine foods we're also expected to look our best, fit in that dress, slide into those trousers, be happy, spread cheer, decorate the house, decorate yourself, play parent and Santa Claus, manage unrealistic expectations, don’t spread the lurgy but do spread some more cheer, get your 10,000 steps in and then prepare for the "fight the Christmas bulge New year new you" bombardment the moment we finish our last mouthful of Christmas dinner. . .

As with every year, I am doing my best to give my mind and body a break from that pressure. I'm doing my best to encourage others to do the same. I'm doing my best to embrace the parts of me that grow at this time of year - that wobble, wiggle and roll more at this time of year. I'm doing my best to not feel the guilt we're programmed to feel when we have that extra packet of crisps, cake or festive treat -  let's face it, none of the amazing things about who you are depend on whether your waistband fluctuates a bit at this time of year or any other. Let's fight the attack on our own self-esteem and support each other. Let's talk. Nudity, as always, is optional. Radical act of self-love for Christmas? Let's do this! 🎄

01/12/2020

Huge hello to anyone heading over here who is currently listening to my audio hypnobirthing course over on the Expectful app.

30/11/2020

Folks, I am mostly hanging out over at Better Birth Stories right now, so do come and visit. Alternatively please do join us in the Hypnobirthing & Positive Birth Group.
I will be returning to Neal's Yard Clapham from next week - Hooray!!! Contact them direct to make an appointment or use the Mind Body app. ###

16/03/2020

If you are looking for birth information or antenatal classes in hypnobirthing then do please hop over to either The Hypnobirthing & Positive Birth Group on FB (Better Birth Stories run) or find me at www.betterbirthstories.com 💗

One-Day Hypnobirthing Classes in London SW11 and SW4. Private classes in London Zones 1-4, or follow our Online Course anywhere in the World. Learn the Skills You Need for a Calmer, More Confident Birth.

20/01/2020

Life Interrupted

I was working at my desk the other day, trying to focus on bookings and then some writing...I found a smooth work flow...and then..
BUZZ! Whatsapp!!
I ignored it.
It went again..and again..and again.
One of my kids’ school classes was in full chat swing.

I wasn’t reading it, but it started to bother me. I could have just switched my phone off, but then what if a client called?, or in fact Whatsapp’d? or school?
So I blocked it out and just carried on.

And it occurred to me, that for all of the wonders of mobile communication, alerts, reminders, apps we are now constantly interrupted.
It’s like trying to have a conversation with one child, when there are two others standing alongside (I know this, I have regularly tried!)
The pauses are gone. We switch, switch, switch...and it is mentally exhausting.

We no longer just sit with our thoughts on the bus or on the tube. We fill that time, Facebook, Instagram, Instant messenger, News App. There is no ‘empty head’ time left.

Hell! people have their phones in the bath..on the loo, at weddings and the cinema.

Our lives are constantly interrupted. Constantly filled.
Until we sleep - although many people struggle to do that too.

So I’m calling TIME.
Switch off.
Choose breathing instead of scrolling.
Switch OFF.
Calm the twitch of your hand toward your phone. Ignore it.

Then daydream. Breathe.
Sit with just yourself.
You’ll feel much, much better for it.

15/01/2020

Know this to be true. For all of your life, that which has been and that which is to come, there will be snakes and there will be ladders.
And that is okay.

Yes the climbs up may be arduous and long and the slides down may be swift and fun...until you hit the bottom...but there will always be these shifts.

What would life be if there weren’t?

The important thing to be is in charge of your own self, your own ship perhaps. No you cannot control the weather. Or the tides. Or the days of the week. But you can control your own ship in either storm or smooth waters.

Learn to really care for you.
Imagine if you had never heard of physical exercise before. Ever. And I said to you one day ‘Hey, do you know that there is this thing called physical exercise you can do which will make you healthier, stronger and probably a bit happier too’. Then I showed you how to do some squats.
You might think I was a bit crazy, or you might go ‘Wow! This is great, I’m on it!’
Well, caring for your mind and your mental health is no different. It’s an exercise that in time will make you feel healthier, stronger and probably a bit happier too. It won't happen over-night. It requires practice and some effort.
But it'll mean that when you slide down a long, long snake you have the skills to sit with that for some time, but then brush yourself off and start travelling across the squares again.
Or if you are struggling up a tall ladder you have the strength to continue on and then even enjoy the fruits of your labours upon arrival.

The snakes and ladders, the weather, the tides, the storms are there, they will always be there.
But truly care for yourself, honestly love yourself and your ship will sail and hold true.
💗

25/03/2019

I am rather fond of the latest Lego movie. The kids have been singing the new theme tune constantly...and the lyrics go like this:

'Everything's not awesome
Everything's not cool
I am so depressed
Everything's not awesome
Whoa, I think I finally get Radiohead'

The upbeat theme of the ever happy protagonist in film one has taken an about turn ..and frankly the cast are now thoroughly sunk.

However, then the following lines are sung:

'Everything's not awesome
Things can't be awesome all of the time
It's not realistic expectation
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try
To make everything awesome
In a less likely, unrealistic kind of way
We should maybe aim for not bad
'Cause not bad, well that would be real great'

And in only 8 lines that film made my day.

We spend so much of our time aiming for perfect. Every paper, every magazine, pretty much most of the self-help books you will pull off the shelf or peruse in Amazon are telling you the same message.

Be awesome.
Wear awesome.
Look awesome.
Be an awesome mother...father...worker.....the list is endless.

We are selling everyone, including our children, a fake Valhalla. A place or state that can be achieved if you just try hard enough.

Well, here's the deal. Some days are just going to be rubbish. Other days will be bloody brilliant.

Ups and downs. The weave of a beautiful rug... the brown speckles on a perfect rose... the dent in the centre of your cake.

We are a society rife with anxiety and depression. Too much expectation has been heaped upon us all. Therefore we have taken to looking at our mental health a little like a fad diet. We yo-yo constantly.

For what it is worth here are my beliefs.

Depression doesn't happen by accident. It occurs because life has changed and you were not ready or prepared for that change.

The steel beams which held your house up have been removed. Now, no amount of 'positive thinking' will change the crumbling effect as the weight of the house bows.

So we need to learn sensibly how to replace the steel beams. How to support our houses from the foundations up again. This isn't a quick fix. And even when we have everything in place again and life is running smoothly we still need to be practical in how we deal with future bumps in the road. How we cope with changes in lifestyle, relationships, work, status, being a mother...not being a mother.

We can put processes and learning in place to protect our mental health but we need to see this as a constant priority in a world that can sometimes wring us dry.

You see, everything is not going to be awesome all of the time. But that can be okay.