26/11/2024
The amount of times clients apologise for crying in a therapy session, or hold back as though it is something to avoid, never ceases to amaze me. Even in therapy, a place to explore deep emotions, there is often a sense of shame around crying.
This goes for female clients too, so many apologise for crying or for using the tissues that have been placed there for this very reason, often reusing the same one for too long or tucking it away in their pocket rather than in the bin provided… taking their “shameful” tears away with them.
How did such a natural form of human expression become so shameful? In fact, crying is one of the most healthy things we can do to regulate our nervous system when overwhelmed.
Most of us have experienced the benefits of a “good cry” at some point in life. As children, if safe to express freely, we do it naturally and easily as a reaction to strong emotions or physical pain.
Children who are encouraged to do this in a healthy way are more likely to be able to express difficult emotions and trust their partners to be there for them and their emotions later in life.
Studies have found:
* Crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids that help to ease physical and emotional pain and are the bodies natural feel-good chemicals
* Repressing emotions can have negative effects on the immune system, cause cardiovascular issues, hypertension, stress and mental health issues.
* Crying to release natural emotions during times of stress or sadness, can be a healthy attachment behaviour which promotes closeness, empathy and connection with others
* Tears help to flush out stress hormones and toxins from the body, helping to regulate the nervous system and restore homeostasis
So next time you feel those tears welling up when watching a sad movie, or you feel a pang of emotional pain, instead of pushing out down, see what happens when you allow those feelings to come up and out.
Of course, there are times when crying can be seen as a concern:
** Crying too much and too often or for no apparent reason
** Using crying to manipulate others as a form of emotional blackmail or abuse
