12/02/2026
For Camilla.
There are some griefs that arrive like storms.
And others that sit quietly in the cupboard… just waiting.
When parents die and after the paperwork, the phone calls and the strange administrative business of death, there was the other job - the one nobody really prepares you for.
Emptying the house.
Not just furniture and photographs, but the ordinary, domestic archaeology of a life. Half-used bottles of washing up liquid, spare loo rolls, cleaning spray under the sink, a bag of clothes pegs, three different kinds of lightbulb no one uses anymore…
And a giant bag of Yorkshire Tea.
I remember, I brought the practical things home with me. It felt wasteful not to. Sensible, respectful even. As if Dad was still, in some small way, provisioning me.
For months, without really noticing, I had been making tea with teabags my dad bought.
Then one morning I reached into the bag.
And there was only one left and that hollow crinkle of empty packaging.
And I stood there, absurdly, in my kitchen, holding a bag of air, and burst into tears.
Because it wasn’t about tea.
It was about the fact that this was the last thing of his.
The last ordinary thing he chose in a supermarket aisle.
The last small, unconscious act of care that had quietly stretched forward into my life.
Grief is a peculiar creature.
It doesn’t always come when you expect it. It slips in through the back door, disguised as something mundane. A teaspoon. A supermarket brand. The end of a box.
And yet, as I made that final cup, there was something else there too.
Comfort.
Because for a moment, the kettle boiled in the same rhythm it always had. The teabag sank in the same way. The smell was the same. And I was, in some strange, tender way, sharing a cup of tea with my dad.
Not in memory.
In continuity.
And perhaps this is how love lingers.
Not in grand gestures or dramatic anniversaries, but in the quiet disappearance of the last teabag, the last sq**rt of washing liquid, the last worn towel that finally gives up.
The things we don’t notice are keeping us company.
Until they’re gone.
I see you.
Art ~ Julia Abele