06/08/2025
~ Being, unraveling and the deeper work.
Over the past few months, Iโve been reducing the amount of work (work work) that I do. It came after the sudden loss of a close friend, recognising I was exhausted having missed some early warning signs, and dare I admit this so publicly, a series of panic attacks. My body was shouting at me to notice, and then beginning to shut down. The wellbeing practitioner that I am, in all of my humanness, my grief and my nurturing of others, had forgotten to take proper care of my own self.
Reforming. Rest. Therapy. I paused some of my weekly classes, cancelled some work, and for a time, said no to additional projects. I reduced time online, deleted more emails than I replied to and purposefully chose nature over technology. Iโve slept. And read stories. Stepped back from being the driving force of a lot of my relationships and asked for & accepted help from those who were in touch nonetheless. Whilst Iโm not making as much money, one thing is really clear. This isnโt a break from work. This is and always has been the work.
This time has been one for hundreds of cups of tea, and tears, and coming deeper into relationship with the medicinal properties of herbs, of healing and nurturing a nervous system thatโs been battered by grief, exhaustion and overwhelm over the years. Doing more of the work that I thought I had already done, teachings that hadnโt been fully embodied. Peeling away another layer to the onion. We can think about rest, understand & advocate rest, but that doesnโt actually equate to rest.
Journeying deeper down the track from mind, the thinking & figuring out, to being in my body, allowing time and digestion and expression. To feel all that we are feeling in both this heart-breaking and wonder-filled world. And recognising what a privilege it is to be able to do this. To say this, when so many people are suffering, feels unjust. Life isnโt fair, witnessing war and famine and the climate be in crisis, itโs cruel and heartbreaking and I donโt really know what to do but I know I need to be strong for what lies ahead. Iโve stepped both away and towardโฆ Continued in images โฅ๏ธ