Thinking in Shades of Grey Ltd

15/08/2025

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I'm a Certified Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) consultant and a qualified Paediatric Autism Communication Therapy (PACT) Practitioner. I work with parents and caregivers to help improve their autistic child's communication ability, form relationships/friendships, develop self-awareness,...

31/07/2025

Do you ever feel like you’re working so hard to connect with your autistic child, but it’s just not happening?

Maybe you find yourself trying to teach them a task, hoping they’ll pick it up and run with it… but instead, they resist, rush through, or switch off completely.

I’ve been there too.

For a long time, I thought helping my daughter meant showing her how to do things step-by-step. I believed that if I could just teach her the skills, she’d eventually become independent and motivated.

But that didn’t happen.
Because what she really needed wasn’t just instruction it was connection.

There were gaps in her development that couldn’t be filled by simply completing tasks. She needed to be part of the thinking, the figuring out, the journey, not just rushed to the finish line.

Even when I realised this, I faced a new challenge:
How could I invite her into that process when she didn’t even want to begin?

Working with an RDI Consultant changed everything.
I learned how to shift my mindset, how to slow down, how to create motivation through shared discovery. Bit by bit, my daughter started to enjoy experimenting, solving problems, offering ideas… and we both started to truly connect.

Those small, shared moments became the stepping stones to something bigger:
Life skills. Self-esteem. Motivation. Resilience.

If this resonates with you, and you're curious how RDI could support your child’s development and your relationship, I’d love to chat.

📩 Send me a message to set up a discovery Zoom call.

20/07/2025

Autism and Nonverbal Communication

Many autistic children do send us nonverbal signals, but these can be subtle, delayed, or easy to miss. This is why capturing your interactions on video and watching them back is so valuable for parents, carers, and autism consultants.

Here’s how you can make the most of your interactions:
✅ Decide what you’ll do together
• If your child leads, offer 3–5 toys or sensory objects and remove other distractions.
• If you lead, plan simple, clear roles: “I’ll pass, you put,” or “I’ll add, you mix.”

✅ Set up your camera
Position it so you’re not watching the screen, then let it run until your play or activity is done.

✅ Get down to your child’s eye level
If you are leading, clearly explain roles before you start.

✅ As you play, add pauses
Shift your gaze to your child when it’s their turn, and look for nonverbal signals, which might include:

✨ Positive signals:
• Moving closer to you
• Looking at you or glancing between you and the object
• Smiling or brightening facial expression
• Reaching or handing you something

⚡ Other signals:
• Turning away (might mean “no thank you” or needing space)
• Small protesting sounds or changes in pitch
• Pulling an object away

✅ Watch your video back
It’s easy to miss signals in the moment.

🌱 Reflection Questions:
💭 When you watch your video back, what positive nonverbal signals did your child show that you might have missed in the moment?

💭 Did you notice moments when your child moved closer, looked at you, or handed you something to share attention?

💭 How did it feel to slow down and give more pauses during your play or interaction?

✨ If you’d like to explore how we can work together to support your child’s communication and shared attention, send me a message to set up a free discovery call.

11/07/2025

Long Waits for Autism Diagnosis? You Don’t Have to Wait to Help Your Child.

(2022-23 figures, new figures due August 2025)

Back in 1993, I fought for 18 months to get my daughter assessed for autism. Today, in 2025, families in England are still waiting 1–2 years, and sometimes 4 years, just for an autism assessment.

And even after a diagnosis, many families find the support they receive is limited and makes little difference to their child’s development.

I learned early on that if my daughter was going to reach her full potential, I couldn’t wait for services to catch up to her needs. It wasn’t until she was 12 that I discovered a developmental approach, RDI, that truly changed everything.

💡 Here’s what I’ve learned working with families for 20+ years:

You don’t need a diagnosis to start helping your autistic child.

Many traditional approaches assume your child can’t meet milestones, so they rely on constant prompts and surface-level strategies.

Developmental approaches, RDI and PACT, support your child to:

✨ Communicate and interact more easily
✨ Share and seek out others’ emotional reactions, thoughts and perspectives
✨ Build relationships and deeper connections
✨ Develop greater self-awareness and self-regulation

All without constant prompting, scripting, or “fixing.”

If you’re ready to learn how to support your autistic child to thrive, message me for a free discovery call or join my Facebook group (link in comments) to learn more about the developmental approaches RDI and PACT that help your child grow and connect.

🤝 You don’t have to wait for a diagnosis to get started.

01/07/2025

Has your child recently been diagnosed as autistic, or do you think your child may be neurodivergent?
Is your child non-verbal, pre-verbal, or do they tend to script?
If so, Paediatric Autism Communication Therapy (PACT) can help your child begin to understand and use functional communication.
Please get in touch if you would like to schedule a complimentary call with me.

16/06/2025

Empower Your Autistic Child 💡

Autistic children can be especially vulnerable, which is why building their problem-solving and decision-making skills is so important. By strengthening their agency, we help them learn to make informed choices, influence their environment, and lead more fulfilling lives.

Would you like to learn how we can work together to support your child? Message or email me to find out more!

01/06/2025

🌟 Just Received an Autism Diagnosis — or Suspect Your Young Child Might Be Autistic? 🌟

Is your little one:
🗣️ Non-verbal, pre-verbal, or using only a few random or scripted words?
😕 Struggling to communicate their needs and wants?
🤝 Finding it hard to connect with you or stay calm in everyday moments?
💭 Are you feeling lost about how to help?

You are not alone; there is a way forward. ❤️

💔 I’ve Been There…
When my daughter was in her early years, I was overwhelmed.
Some days she was happy, and other days, she'd spiral into meltdowns I didn’t understand.
The most painful moments were watching her hurt herself out of frustration… and not knowing what to do.
I thought: “I’m her mum. I should know how to help.”
But I didn’t.
Not yet.

💡 What Changed Everything for Us was Adopting a Relationship Approach…

That journey eventually led me to become a certified PACT (Paediatric Autism Communication Therapy) Practitioner — a neurodiversity-affirming programme that puts you, the parent/carer, at the heart of your child’s communication development.

With PACT, I help parents/carers:
✨ Understand and respond to their child’s unique communication signals
✨ Create shared moments of joy and connection
✨ Prevent overwhelm and support calm regulation
✨ Gently build toward real, functional communication
✨ Feel empowered in guiding their child’s growth

🤝 Let’s Talk
If you're in the early days of this journey and wondering what now? — I’m here to help. 💬

📩 Send me a message or use the email link in the comments for us to arrange a Zoom call. You don’t have to do this alone. 💞

Let’s take the next step together to help you build clarity, compassion, and confidence in guiding your child’s development.

22/05/2025

✨ Behaviour or Self-Regulation?

When a child’s behaviour challenges us, I first ask, "What was happening before, during, and after?" Not to place blame—but to understand.

I use the simple but powerful ABC approach:
🔹 A = Antecedent – What happened before the behaviour?
🔹 B = Behaviour – What did the child and adults do in the moment?
🔹 C = Consequence – What happened afterwards?

Here’s a moment from a recent session with a parent of a pre-verbal autistic girl. Her daughter smells trusted adults as a way to self-regulate, like a comfort blanket when experiencing frustration. In a video of them building Lego, Mum calmly responded to her daughter’s rising frustration with short, gentle phrases and pauses. The result? A moment that could have ended in meltdown… didn’t. They finished the build together, calm and connected.

When we look beyond the surface and understand the why behind behaviour, we don’t just manage it—we support it.

💬 As a parent, do you want help to support your autistic child?

Join us in "Autism Chaos to Calm" – a group for parents who want to support, not just survive.

20/09/2024

The difference between 'Guiding' and 'Getting'.