With the added bonus of improving your child’s emotional, social and cognitive development. I have 20+ years of working experience in the autism field.
I am an autism consultant specialising in parent education, Relationship Development Intervention, and PACT, to help improve the quality of life of families as a whole. 👨👦 Are you struggling with how to reach and interact with your child on a daily basis?
🤷♀️Do you feel that the autism specific provision you have in place for your child is insufficient for your child’s needs?
👨Do you feel that the autism provision does not support you as a parent or your family as a whole?
👩👧Have you been given multiple strategies to use at home that simply do not work for your child? Are you left feeling that you have somehow failed?
👨👩👦👦Would you like to embark on a journey that enables you to feel empowered as a parent and that improves the overall quality of life for your whole family? I am a Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) Consultant and a Paediatric Autism Communication Therapy (PACT) Practitioner. In addition, I have more than 28 years of personal experience of autism due to my eldest child being on the spectrum, so I completely understand how desperate and isolated a parent can feel when trying to help their own child. Whether you choose to embark on an RDI or PACT Programme your experience will be unique and tailored to your family and your child’s needs. Parent Goals are then set, and I will be on-hand to support you throughout your journey until you are able to feel confident and empowered to continue with ever-decreasing input from me. Message or email me to book a free consultation call to discuss your child and family needs. Sharon@autismthinkinginshadesof grey.co.uk
13/01/2026
Static vs Dynamic Visual Schedules
Visual schedules can help autistic children feel organised and regulated, particularly when school routines aren’t in place at weekends or during holidays.
At home, a visual schedule can provide helpful structure. Once your child understands the pattern, it doesn’t have to stay static. Used intentionally, it can support the development of flexible, dynamic thinking.
Planning the day in short segments, involving your child in deciding what comes next, and occasionally reordering activities (without removing them) helps children practise coping with change while still feeling secure.
If this way of thinking feels relevant for you and your child, you’re welcome to come and spend some time in my Facebook group Autism Chaos to Calm, where I share practical, relationship-based ideas to support everyday regulation and flexibility (link in the comments).
07/01/2026
Static vs Dynamic Thinking – understanding the need for sameness
Does your autistic child find changes to routine really tough? Need things done in a particular way? React in a big way when something happens differently from how they pictured it?
That isn’t ‘bad behaviour’. It’s usually a smart attempt to create control in a world that feels disorganised and unpredictable. This comes from static (rigid) thinking, the brain’s message that safe = same.
We can gently grow dynamic thinking through playful co-regulation and Just Noticeable Differences - tiny, manageable changes introduced inside an activity your child already understands.
Example: tidying bricks together
• Keep roles simple: ‘I pass to you, and you drop in the box’.
• Repeat the pattern a few times so it feels familiar and motivating.
• Then add a small difference - perhaps pass a car or character toy.
• Pass… and pause. No questions, no pressure.
Tip: If the difference isn’t noticed yet, model your own noticing:
“Huh… car not brick,” and place it in a second box.
These little moments of shared attention teach children to notice, adjust, and problem-solve. Over time, you may see less need for rigid predictability and more openness to change across the day.
Change grows best from connection, not correction.
For more practical tips like this, join my free Facebook group Autism Chaos to Calm - see the link in the comments.
If you’d like tailored ideas for your own child, I offer discovery calls and coaching using RDI, an evidence-based developmental approach.
Comment below with one routine that feels hardest right now, or message me directly to book a chat.
24/12/2025
Autism and Coregulation
Coregulation is something many parents may already be doing, often without realising.
It’s not about stopping behaviour or asking a child to 'calm down,' but about creating a sense of safety and readiness so connection and learning can happen.
‘When I say regulation, I mean readiness. Not silence. Not stillness. Readiness shows up in slower breathing, softer shoulders, a face that is available for connection, a pace that allows for noticing. From that state, children can reference a trusted guide, share attention for a moment, and try something uncertain. When arousal spikes or drops, behavior shifts to protection. What looks like refusal often means not now. What looks like rigidity often means the world is moving too fast. The first response is not more words. It is co-regulation.’
Dr Sheely - RDIconnect
The example below comes from a blog post I wrote in 2019.
It captures what coregulation can look like when it has been gently woven into everyday life over time.
There are no prompts, no instructions, no rewards.... just shared awareness, subtle cues, and mutual adjustment as we move through an ordinary morning together.
'Alysia then walks back into the kitchen and fills the filter water jug from the tap. I walk over to the kitchen sink with fruit in my hand, she notices me approaching. My movements cue, totally unprompted, Alysia to shift to one side and wait for me to hold the fruit over the sink. She then pours water over the fruit, pauses and shifts her gaze to me. I smile, she takes this to mean ‘good enough’, and we both move away to carry on with our individual morning tasks.
Chester enters the room, and he positions himself next to Alysia at the countertop. We all chant ‘morning’ to one another. He takes a glass from the cupboard above, and Alysia, who had been filling her own glass, moves the jug nearer to him; he holds his glass towards her, and she fills it. Chester says ‘thanks’ as they both move away.
I’m just finishing packing up lunch boxes and start to move towards the fridge to put the fruit away. Alysia is getting an egg from the fridge and starts to close the door. She notices my approach and stops to hold the door open for me before moving off to make her breakfast.
I’m back at the kitchen counter with my back to Alysia, unaware that she is approaching. I move backwards and turn to my right. Alysia, who is carrying a plate full of food, quickly dodges to the left of me. I sense her movement and look to her, we catch each other’s gaze and share a ‘that was close’ look!'.
What’s happening here might look small or even unremarkable... but these moments are doing important work.
This is coregulation:
Noticing one another, adjusting pace, reading cues, pausing, sharing attention, and moving on.
Over time, these repeated experiences help a child feel safe enough to stay open, flexible, and connected... even when things are uncertain.
When children experience enough coregulation, they begin to carry that sense of readiness within themselves.
This is what supports the development of self-regulation, resilience, friendships, everyday life skills, growing independence, and a better quality of life.
If you’re curious about how coregulation might look for your child, or you’d like support in building this into everyday moments, you’re very welcome to message or email me.
19/12/2025
From Chaos to Calm: How Declarative Communication Reduces Pressure
In my upcoming talk in Autism Chaos to Calm, I’ll be exploring how moving away from instructions and questions can reduce interactional demands for autistic children, helping communication feel calmer, safer, and more achievable for parents and carers supporting them day to day.
Parents and carers are very welcome to come and join me on Monday 22nd December at 11am GMT.
Group link in the comments
18/12/2025
Christmas uncertainty, unpredictability, and overwhelm
This time of year can be especially hard for our autistic children.
Christmas often highlights where things feel hardest, not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because routines disappear and demands increase.
When there is too much change, our autistic children can quickly move into survival mode. You might notice more meltdowns, withdrawal, or a strong need to control their environment. And as parents, this can feel exhausting, especially when, at this time of year, we often have very little control over the environment ourselves.
For many parents, this becomes a moment of reflection.
Not urgency.
Not perfection.
Just a quiet sense that something needs to change, gently and intentionally.
What if 2026 could feel different?
Not ‘fixed’.
Not pressure-filled.
But a year where your child begins to experience more emotional connection, more shared moments, and a growing ability to cope with change, supported by you, the constant in their life.
If this resonates and you’re thinking ‘we can’t do another year like this’, you’re not alone.
I’m opening three spaces in January and would love to talk with families who feel ready for something different. Message or email me.
09/12/2025
The heart of PACT Therapy is relationship.
It’s where understanding begins, and connection deepens. 💞
When adults and children feel truly seen, something beautiful happens -communication flows naturally, joy emerges, and growth unfolds in its own time.
At PACT Therapy, we nurture that foundation - helping parents and caregivers rediscover the power of attunement, empathy, and shared discovery. Because when connection comes first, everything else follows. 🌿
I’ve seen so many posts recently from parents of non-verbal or pre-verbal autistic children saying they’ve had little or no SLT support and are unsure how to help their child communicate.
I completely understand how that feels. When my daughter was diagnosed at 3.5, support was limited too… and sadly, many families are still facing the same challenges today.
What made the biggest difference for us was discovering a developmental approach that focused on the foundations of communication, particularly shared attention.
Shared attention is where connection begins.
It’s the basis for interaction, communication and those moments of shared experience that help everything else grow.
I’m running a free live masterclass, ‘Establishing and Maintaining Shared Attention Through Play', starting Monday, 8th December.
I’ll share simple, practical, play-based strategies you can start using straight away to support your child’s social communication.
If you’d like to join, send me a message, and I’ll send you further information.
07/11/2025
Join me for my 5 Day Co-regulation Masterclass. Live on Facebook. Starting Monday, 10th, through Friday, 15th November, at 8pm GMT each day. Please send me a message or an email for the link😊
01/11/2025
💞 The Missing Piece of Connection
For years, I tried everything to help my autistic daughter build friendships, social stories, skills groups, playdates… even running small holiday clubs from home.
But despite all the effort, her interactions stayed at the same surface level, predictable, scripted, and disconnected.
Then, when she was 12½, I discovered RDI and co-regulation, and everything changed.
That’s when I realised what had been missing all along: the foundation for true connection.
Co-regulation is the social dance of “me and you” — where we move, think, and respond together. It’s how motivation to connect naturally grows.
This discovery transformed how I understood my daughter’s world, and how I now support other parents to rebuild that foundation with their own children.
✨ I’m inviting you to join me for a free 5-Day Coregulation Masterclass (Live on Facebook from Monday 10th November).
Over five days, I’ll guide you through how co-regulation develops, why it matters, and how you can begin to nurture it with your autistic child — in everyday moments.
If you’d love to understand how to help your child move from scripted to authentic connection, send me a quick message and I’ll share the sign-up details with you. 💬
Let’s rediscover the joy of connection — together. 💞
28/10/2025
💙The Missing Piece: Co-Regulation
Many parents tell me their autistic child struggles with self-regulation, emotions, or finding it hard to make friends.
What often gets missed is that self-regulation doesn’t start with the child. It grows from co-regulation, those moments when we, as adults, share calm, connection, and safety with them.
When a child can feel our steady presence and rhythm, their body begins to learn what calm feels like. That’s what helps emotions settle and social connection to grow.
So, before we focus on “managing behaviour” or “teaching emotional control,” we start with connection, with co-regulation.
Because connection is what makes everything else possible. 💙
25/10/2025
PACT strengthens a child’s sense of agency. 💫
Children learn to initiate interactions, communicate needs, and engage in meaningful exchanges. Every subtle signal matters, and adults are trained to notice, reflect, and celebrate these moments.
Over time, this builds confidence, stronger relationships, and reduced distress-related behaviors—key foundations for lifelong learning and wellbeing.
🌿 When connection leads the way… change can last. 🌿
I often speak with parents who tell me, “I just want to feel more connected with my child.”
That longing to understand them more deeply, to share more moments together, is something I hear time and time again.
That’s why I love Paediatric Autism Communication Therapy (PACT).
✨ In research led by the University of Manchester, families who took part in the original PACT trial saw real, lasting improvements in their child’s communication and interaction. And here’s the part that really matters:
👉 those changes were still there six years later.
🧠 Just to be clear, this doesn’t mean a child stops being autistic.
It means:
💬 They’re able to express themselves more clearly.
🌱 Interaction and flexibility become a little easier.
🤝 And shared moments of connection happen more often.
PACT doesn’t try to change who a child is. It helps parents tune in and validate their child’s interests and exploration… so communication can grow in a way that feels safe, natural, and respectful.
If this speaks to you… if you’ve been longing for more connection and want something evidence-based yet deeply nurturing… I’d love to invite you to a gentle, parent-friendly workshop where I’ll share more about PACT and how it can help your family. 💚
📅 Friday 17 October at 10am GMT
📍 on Zoom
🔗 message or email me for the Zoom link
“You already hold the key to connection. PACT helps you unlock it in new ways.”
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Would you like to feel empowered to help your child on the autism spectrum to develop and grow?
Hi, I’m Sharon! Would you liked to feel empowered to help your child on the autism spectrum to develop and grow? However, feel at a loss of how to do this and have been made to feel that only ‘professionals’ working with your child will make a difference to their life?
It might be that in your heart you know that nobody knows your child like you do but have been made to feel inadequate in parenting your special needs child?
Or perhaps you feel that you are literally just surviving on a day-to-day basis with a lack of sleep, your child’s meltdowns, or what seems like irrational behaviour. Leaving you fearful of looking past the struggles of the present day to tomorrow and beyond as it’s just too overwhelming and painful?
Would you like to see beyond the crisis that autism can bring to your family as a whole? If so, I can help you to do just that.
If you embark on a Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) Programme with me we will look at the obstacles you currently face and work together to help you become the guiding parent to your child that you had envisioned you would be. With this empowerment you will start to see changes in both yourself and your child as you both develop within the parent-child guiding relationship that typically developing children around the world grow socially, emotionally and cognitively from infanthood well into to their adult years.
I’m an RDI Consultant but also an RDI parent and as such understand what you are going through and the ups and downs autism can bring to your family. I tried many different interventions and treatments before finding RDI and the changes that I saw both within my daughter and my family as a whole motivated me to want to bring RDI to the UK back in 2004.
I started RDI with my daughter when she was 12.5yrs-old. Her teacher stated that she would need to be cared for 24/7 and that the time, energy and money that we were spending on trying to help her should instead be used to have nice family holidays, as her autism, speech and language and learning disorder were too big for us as parents to make a difference. However, fast-track to today, my daughter is now 27yrs-old, she has held down the same job for 4+ years and her roles and responsibilities continue to change. She has been in a relationship for 4 years and moved in with her fiance a year ago, they have set a wedding date for next May. She loves to travel on planes, trains, buses and tubes and go to many new and different places. Above all she has loves her life and is very happy!
I would love to have a chat with you to see how the RDI service that I offer could help change your lives and lifestyle as well as help your child to reach their full potential. Please do message me so that we can arrange a free consultation.
