18/10/2025
You won’t stop comparing yourself to others regardless …” — Steven Bartlett, Happy Sexy Millionaire, Ch. 4
Comparison is part of being human. But in a world of perfect highlight reels, it often becomes a trap.
🎯 The Science of Social Comparison
According to Festinger’s social comparison theory, humans naturally evaluate themselves relative to others, especially when objective metrics are unavailable. 
In Chapter 4 of Happy Sexy Millionaire, Bartlett calls comparing ourselves to idealized influencers a form of “mental self-harm” — we choose to follow people whose curated lives make us feel less. 
In therapeutic contexts (e.g. in cognitive-behavioral or positive psychology–informed therapy), we often see clients noticing how social comparison seeps into self-talk, feeding perfectionism, insecurity, or burnout. The first step is psychoeducation: naming the bias, noticing upward vs downward comparisons, and learning to decenter from them (i.e. “this is a thought, not a fact”).
✨ How Gratitude Helps Rebalance
Gratitude is more than feel-good fluff. Research shows that a disposition of gratitude moderates (buffers) the link between social comparison and envy — especially the harmful “malicious envy” side. 
In gratitude intervention studies, participants report more positive affect, greater life satisfaction, and fewer depressive/anxiety symptoms. 
Gratitude helps us shift from “They have more, so I’m less” to “I appreciate what I have — and I can grow in my own lane.”
🛠 Practical Tips (for your mindset + your mental health):
1. Track comparisons — note when your mind drifts into “others are better / further ahead.”
2. Ask perspective questions — “Is the comparison relevant or fair?” “What strengths do I bring?”
3. Gratitude journal / gratitude pause — list 3 things you genuinely value in your life (big or small) — this anchors you in your own experience.
4. Curate your feed — unfollow or mute accounts that trigger comparison stress (Bartlett encourages stopping following negative/fake influences). 
Let’s reclaim comparison as data, not a verdict. Use it to inform your growth, not to define your worth.
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