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I'm here for you as your Ubuntu Doula, standing by your side from perinatal, birth and postpartum

13/10/2024

My 13 month old has been given her eviction notice!
Technically, only from sharing with us in our room to sharing with me in her room.

After a year of cosleep, roomsharing and everything else, car sleep, pram sleep, floor mattress sleep, cot sleep, next to me crib sleep... This is what I have learned.

1. Do it when it feels right, some do it earlier as babies are less stubborn at 6 months, whilst others want them to sleep through first. I timed mine with weaning from night milk.
2. Take your time, especially if they're bigger, or more stubborn, maybe make it a week long task.
3. If you work Monday- Friday, start Friday night so you can be consistent in the first 3 nights, without the massive stress of an early work day...

On another note, if you want to have one night of consistent sleep, you can hire a night doula to watch baby and stay up all night... I can do it if you're Kent-based 🙋‍♀️

06/10/2024

I planned to breastfeeding for 6 months, and I lasted 12...
Baby wasn't quite done with me, and jeez, I was!

In the spirit of information sharing, this is what I learned...

It was ages for the milk to completely dry up, my body kept a reserve for several weeks... It was always made me tempted to restart the process.

I was so teary, and sentimental and soft - it was the hormones, I missed it, and also didn't... What a conflict!

They deflated... Google says its the milk cells being eaten up by other cells in the body. I googled it like mad - as well as breast implants. But honestly, I will give it a year, like I gave my body a year to be itself again.

For those who love a Google: https://www.manchester.ac.uk/about/news/post-breastfeeding-tissue-remodelling-explained-by-new-research/ #:~:text=A%20ground%2Dbreaking%20study%20into,following%20the%20period%20of%20breastfeeding.

21/09/2024

Like 25% of women in my hospital, I had a c-section. It was tough, so I wanted to share my experience with you.
1. Don't over exert yourself, ask for help, try to avoid tasks that require bending or lifting. Once you feel ready to exercise, don't just start running or weights. Start with stretching your arms and legs. Build it up slowly, wait at least 2 months!
2. Day 2 and 3 are so painful, stay on top of your painkillers, ask for more if you need it. But after that you will feel better each and everyday. I felt semi-normal at 6 weeks, ready to sprint at 4ish months, and now a year later, I don't feel anything anymore.
3. My tummy took a while to go down, it's so normal to look 4/5months pregnant for a week or so after. I was worried about a c-section pouch, I don't think I have one, not sure, but it took half a year for my figure to look almost normal.
Honestly, this all takes time, just forget about it and check after 6 months. But if you feel anything is not healing well, please contact your GP and get the help you need.

14/09/2024

I was so anxious about getting back to my pre-baby weight, or if I was gaining too much... What a waste of my time!
I weighed myself the day before I had my baby and weighed myself afterwards. I had been determined to get back what I had lost. And surprised at my full term weight... This is what I learned. Massive caveat, I don't think it was healthy of me to track my weight at that stage, but who does the healthiest things post partum, all we can do is learn and grow.
1. The last month of pregnancy, my weight stagnated, mainly because I couldn't fit any food in and the heartburn was too much. I had been so worried when I had reached almost 80kg in the middle of trimester 3!
2. After birth you lose a lot of mass, the baby, the placenta, the water weight so really don't worry about pregnancy weight gain, it's all for a great cause!
3. Breastfeeding makes you SO hungry, but just eat what you need, trying to focus on whole foods and it'll work out.
4. I'm not at my booking weight and frankly I don't care, there's no rush to get back to what I was, slow and steady has been the best and when I get there, at least the journey would have been a happy one.

07/09/2024

I read somewhere that starting solids will help a baby sleep through the night... All I got was stinkier nappies! 👩‍🍼
But I honestly wanted to drive to my local hospital and try feeding her for the first time there, just in case. I learned a lot, and it ended up being straightforward, so let me share my experience!🍌🍐🍏🍓🥝
1. Babies have tough gums and can chew through soft foods efficiently, but they will gag as they learn how to eat. It's stressful, but their natural approach to learn to regulate the amount of food they can chew and swallow at one time.
2. She prefers my food, from my plate over her own, she loves the full flavour profile.
3. Their tastes change, I told nursery my baby doesn't eat fish ... only for her to finish all the salmon, fish pie and fish fingers whenever she gets the chance.
4. When they're teething you may want to avoid sharp or harder foods for a little while, but depends with what baby is comfortable with.
5. It can get messy if they're determined to try feeding themselves, so lay down a blanket or towel and let them play!

31/08/2024

When I was pregnant, I read babies slept up to 18 hours a day, and I thought, "What's all the fuss about?"🥱
I was in for a rough ride, I learned some tough lessons, and of course, I will be sharing them with you!
1. Co-sleep really saved me after the 4 month sleep regression, and I enjoy waking up to a smiling baby. It brings all of us comfort, and also my baby just wants comfort.
2. I do not regret sleeping during the day and leaving my chores on the wayside. Each nap comes at the cost of something, and having a microwave meal because I napped is a great compromise.
3. Purple crying... what the heck is that... All I can say is baby may cry for hours, for no reason at around 6ish weeks, and it will end... suddenly, just like it started.
5. Babies and their sleep needs change constantly, just when you have the hang of it... teething, milestones and jabs will have baby sleeping different. Go with the flow I guess...
6. They will sleep, eventually, trust me I googled for a specific date and time and couldn't find exact details. Just take my word for it, you'll be okay, eventually.

And on that note... just give yourself some grace, give baby the comfort they ask for, and give it time. Most 16 year olds sleep through the night 🤣🤣🤣

16/08/2024

To all the new parents, it's tough to let others hold baby or take over, the leopard understands!

13/08/2024

I am Shona, so I love our proverbs, this one is perfect. Guests to a new mum must understand that they are visiting for mum and baby - no one else

11/08/2024

I asked some Shona women in my community what food helps with breastfeeding, here are is the menu!

09/08/2024

We have a bounceback culture and I think we should accept life's seasons. Just because I have a pudgy body less than a year after having a baby, does not mean it will always be like this. Let's give ourselves some grace.

06/08/2024

Hey expecting mama, trust your body and your gut as you go into labour. You've got this.

04/08/2024

Easily accessable, and available during labour, you can try the TENs Machine. And like most things, it's pros and cons. Have a look !

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Maidstone

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https://ubuntumama.my.canva.site/

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