The Mindful Counsellor

21/07/2025

How little we need for so much change to take place ❤️ Standing out as a women's therapist, offering something different...❤️
Therapy hasn’t always looked the way it does today - though most women attend therapy and most therapists are women, I think it's still following medicalised and academic protocols that may be ignoring what women are drawn to instinctively. I think this is why I see a lot of clients who have tried therapy with other therapists and come to me saying 'It's just too clinical. It was just too detached'.

Yes we should have and need safe and firm boundaries. Absolutely. But....

For the last century, men in suits – researchers, doctors, academics and people with Masters and PhDs – have shaped mental health into something highly clinical and technical. CBT worksheets, techniques and approaches, and therapists who believe they should deliberately remove their individuality from their work, clothing and therapy rooms are the actual norm!

Doesn’t this sometimes feel a bit disconnected from how we, as women, truly find comfort and our break throughs - i.e. through authentic, trusting, real relationship and holistic, intuitive wisdom?

For generations, women didn’t have 'therapy' like today. We turned to each other. We braided each other’s hair, sat with tea in grandma’s cups, in kitchens. Or (like me!) poured a glass of wine with a trusted friend and compared notes of what worked for each other in similar times. The last thing we think of or search up on Google is "find me a stranger with a Master's degree in person centred therapy and a level 5 in cognitive based therapy". We search up "How do I stop feeling s**t and anxious and get some sleep?"

We want straight answers, no BS and ideally from someone who has come through themselves as proof of knowledge.

That authenticity and 'realness' is the spirit or essence I hope to bring into my counselling work - one that resonates with local women, as women.

Yes, I’m fully qualified, a registered accredited member of an ethical body for counsellors and have a good track record with clients — but I don’t hide behind qualifications or promote or base my practice around rigid techniques.

I bring my humanity first.

My knowledge is there to support you, not to make things feel more clinical than they need to.

When you come to my therapy room, you’ll find:
A cosy, real-life space (no sterile clinic vibe)
A place to “spill the tea” without feeling judged or awkward
A therapist who’s lived, learned, and truly gets it
A chance to feel less anxious, more like yourself, and to finally sleep better
…and yes, my friendly dogs, who make the room even more relaxed.

If you want therapy that feels human, not clinical, and the idea of a relaxed, safe space sounds like exactly what you need, I currently have space for a new client.

Message me either via messenger or via my website www.mymindfulcounsellor.com to book a free chat about how we can work together.

Because sometimes, a warm room, a cup of tea, and the right conversation woman to woman can change everything.

20/07/2025

Boundaries: this hypnotherapy short meditation (from a qualified hypnotist and counsellor) is a lovely practice if you are interested in improving your boundaries. https://youtu.be/cFK6Eohs92k. I’m also going to post a few more resources and relevant posts over the coming week or so. It’s just 12 minutes. Please give my post a like if you tried it and enjoyed it so I can see what you’re finding helpful.

An Every Day Guided Meditation for Setting Boundaries.Ever feel drained by other people's expectations? Struggle to say no without guilt? This guided meditat...

19/07/2025

Review: Boundary Boss and Workbook by Terri Cole
For women navigating anxiety, relationships, and people-pleasing patterns

As a counsellor supporting women with anxiety, I often see the same core struggles that many of us have. For example: difficulty saying no, over-functioning in relationships, and a deep fear of conflict or rejection.

These are, at heart, boundary issues and therapy can be really helpful to look at these. Often I will loan books to my clients. This is very actively being loaned out currently…

🟢 What’s good about the book

Cole writes from experience and as a psychotherapist. Her tone is direct but compassionate, and goes beyond “just be more assertive” without any deeper guidance.

The book is full of useful tools: from practical scripts for difficult conversations, to a “Boundary Blueprint” exercise that helps readers uncover the childhood roots of their boundary patterns.

It’s especially strong on how covert contracts (unspoken emotional deals we make with others) keep us stuck in resentment and burnout.

The workbook adds extra value, especially for those who learn best through reflection and action. Both pair beautifully with therapy sessions, where clients can process what’s coming up and rehearse new approaches in a safe space.

⚠️ Where it falls short

It’s a bit American self help at times… Some exercises also move quite quickly from insight to action, which might be hard for those with complex trauma or deeper relational wounds. That’s where therapy can support what the book illuminates.

The book doesn’t always dive deeply into nervous system regulation or attachment styles—which are often core parts of boundary work in therapy and boundaries cannot be set if one feels unsafe or fears abandonment for example.

✨ Why I recommend it to clients

For anxious women who second-guess every decision or feel responsible for everyone else’s feelings, Boundary Boss provides not just insight but permission. It’s a powerful tool to help identify what’s theirs to carry, and what’s not.

In therapy, we can then explore the deeper patterns underneath—why setting boundaries feels unsafe, what early relationships shaped those beliefs, and how to build the emotional resilience needed to follow through. We can also take the scripts in the book and make them your own, adapting them to your context, your voice, and your emotional pace.

In turn, working through the book outside of sessions can accelerate change. Clients come back with new questions, real-world examples, or even resistance—which is where the real work often begins. It makes therapy more dynamic and lived, rather than something that only happens in the room.

💡 Key insights that resonate with anxious women
• You don’t have to feel 100% confident to set a boundary. You just have to be clear.
• Saying no is an act of self-trust, not selfishness.
• If you’re exhausted, overcommitted, or resentful, your body is already telling you your boundaries are too loose.
• You can’t teach people to respect you if you keep rescuing them from the consequences of disrespect.

🤝 Therapy + Book = A Winning Combo

If you’re someone who likes to understand why you behave the way you do, but need support in making actual changes in how you relate to others, Boundary Boss offers a map—and therapy can be the vehicle. The workbook is particularly good for those who want tangible next steps between sessions.

I recommend it most to clients who:
• Struggle with people-pleasing or approval-seeking
• Feel burnt out from emotional caretaking
• Have anxiety that spikes around saying no or being disliked
• Want to practise new boundary-setting behaviours in therapy and in life

If you’d like to borrow a copy during our work together, just let me know. I keep a few copies in the practice because it’s that useful—and because boundaries are often the missing piece in both anxiety recovery and emotional empowerment.

Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires, or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard...

16/07/2025

Health Anxiety
I support women with health anxieties and it’s a surprisingly common source of anxiety for women.

Here’s a bit more information you may find helpful if you too are struggling with anxiety about your health.

If you’ve ever found yourself Googling symptoms late at night, panicking over a mole or a missed heartbeat, or bouncing between relief and fear after every test — you’re not alone.

Health anxiety is a very clever kind of fear. It dresses itself up as vigilance. It convinces you that if you just check one more time, ask one more question, or find the “right” reassurance, then maybe this time, the fear will stop.

But here’s the catch: health anxiety isn’t really about your body. It’s about what your body represents. Fragility. Uncertainty. Loss. Being alone. Being out of control. And very often, it’s rooted in experiences where you were unsafe, or unheard, or had to deal with big, scary things without enough support.

In therapy, we don’t just try to “switch off” anxiety though we definitely do learn to be able to regulate it. If we don’t address the fears underneath anxiety, that kind of control often backfires — like trying to hold a beach ball under water. Sooner or later, it pops back up.

Instead, we get curious together once you’re regulating and feeling safer again. We ask: what is this part of you afraid of? What would it need in order to feel safer?

Health anxiety may be irrational but it’s protective and makes sense often too.

Sonething I’ve learned is that kindness, not harsh self-punishment, is what helps it loosen its grip.

If this speaks to you, know this: you’re not mad. You’re not weak.

You’ve just been carrying fear without enough support and the fear cycle has taken hold.

There is a different way to live — not by constantly scanning for danger, but by learning, gently, that safety is something you can rebuild.

Therapy can help. But more than that — being deeply listened to, and not dismissed — can also change a lot of other stuff as you go too. And of course going to the doctor to discuss your health concerns is always the first step.

13/07/2025

If that cartoon feels a bit too real… you’re sadly not alone…

Anxiety at work - working with wolves…

More and more women coming to therapy not because they can’t cope — but because their workplace is or has eroded their confidence, clarity and/or calm. It’s sad and unnecessary that work really seems to bring the worst out in some people!

One client said ‘I’m having to go to therapy because my boss didn’t!” It’s so true…

👉 When trust is replaced with spying and stalking
👉 When teamwork becomes competition rather than collaboration
👉 When you’re masking to survive and definitely not in a place to grow and thrive

…your nervous system feels it. Your sleep feels it. You feel it.

In this new blog, I unpack the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of unsafe work cultures, how they contribute to anxiety, and what you can do about it — especially if you’re lying awake wondering, “Is it me?”

🔗 Read it here:
💬 And if it hits home, I’m here when you’re ready to talk.

🐺 "It’s Like Working with Wolves" – When Anxiety at Work Becomes a Problem for your Nervous SystemEver feel like work has become a game of survival rather than a place to grow and thrive?Perhaps you experience every meeting as a minefield, email messages as a potential trap or power play, or ...

12/07/2025

The Three HSPs (Highly Sensitive Pigs)

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. They each set out to build a house where they could feel safe, regulated, and not emotionally overloaded.

The first little pig built a house of straw. It was quick and easy, and they were just too overwhelmed to deal with more decisions.

But when the Big Loud World came by and said: “I’ll honk and I’ll shout and I’ll completely stress you out!” the house of straw fell down, and the pig had a panic nap.

The second little pig built a house of sticks. It took a bit more energy, but they still weren’t sure how to set boundaries. When the Big Loud World came by and said: “I’ll criticize and I’ll push and I’ll drain all your energy!” the house of sticks collapsed, and the pig retreated under a weighted blanket.

The third little pig built a house of bricks. They took their time, honored their pace, and made sure it had soft lighting, cozy textures, and emotional space. When the Big Loud World came by and said: “I’ll demand and I’ll rush and I’ll expect you to be fine all the time!” the third pig said: “No thank you. I’ve had enough.”

And the Big Loud World huffed and puffed but the house of bricks stood strong.

So the three little pigs moved in together, respected each other’s need for quiet, shared snacks, and thrived in their cozy, carefully crafted sanctuary.

And they all felt deeply, ever after.

By Tom Rowe

09/07/2025

If your nervous system has been on high alert lately, here are 3 simple, try-them-out ways to invite a bit more peace today:

🕯️ Step away from screens – even 10 minutes in nature or quiet can soothe your overstimulated mind. Just sit and notice in your brain break instead of scrolling. Notice around you and internally… What do you most need?

📖 Name your thoughts – writing down what’s looping in your head helps soften the noise. Have the page with 2 sides ‘need to address today’ and ‘not on my list for today’. This helps remove a false urgency we all carry..

💬 Connect – message someone who feels safe. Laughter and warmth do more for your health than we realise. There’s nothing like connection with the people who help us laugh or feel safe - free medicine..

💛 image Simply, Slowly, Seasonally

05/07/2025

🛠️ What Kind of Therapist Do You Actually Need for Anxiety?

Imagine a leaking pipe.
You’ve ignored it for a bit, but now it’s burst—water everywhere.

You call a plumber. She arrives, listens kindly, nods warmly, even offers a tissue from her toolbox.
But the water’s still rising. She’s just asking how you feel about the leak.
Helpful? Not really.

It’s the same with anxiety.

Yes—being heard matters. It’s the start.
But when your nervous system’s in overdrive, you also need someone who can steady things and show you how to calm the chaos. Not just talk about it.

That’s what I do. 🌿
I’m Dionne—a women’s anxiety therapist in Malvern.
With 40 years of mindfulness practice (taught by Thich Nhat Hanh himself), lived experience of anxiety, and years of working with local women and children—I offer real tools, not just tissues.

You’ll get deep listening and guidance. Space to breathe, plus support that actually helps you shift things.

✨ So ask yourself:
Do I just need someone kind to listen?
Or someone kind and skilled to help me feel better?

If it’s the second—I’m here.
👉 www.mymindfulcounsellor.com

05/07/2025

Are my new creative light hearted therapy prompt cards (to lighten the ending of a heavy session or to write posts about), too much for you (before I bring them out!). What do you think? Yes or no?

03/07/2025

Another client has recently finished therapy. With only 4 sessions so much was achieved.

The client had tried other styles of therapy but loved the practical ways we worked together, the different approaches and techniques shared and saw results very quickly*.

I now have space for another client.

Please get in touch if you have a problem that you’d like support with. You can check my website for more information about my work which combines counselling, teaching anxiety management techniques and draws on gentle coaching and creative techniques where suitable.

Mymindfulcounsellor@gmail.com
Www.mymindfulcounsellor.com





*Results can vary on presentation and on other factors.

30/06/2025

Wow!!! Lovely weekend. The petal fields at Pershore and I really enjoyed chilling watching Glastonbury - from the comfort and shade of my lounge 🙂.

So many stories to inspire (Lewis Capaldi’s bravery), feel saddened but cheered by (CMAT the blue goddess’ response to fat shaming) and frankly feel cringed by and embarrassed about (Rod Stewart’s inability to see women as anything other than heels and legs still and moaning as a £270 million rich list topper that he was only paid £120 000 for his slot as Glastonbury prioritises giving to charity rather than more money to the musicians).

Whilst Lewis Capaldi’s music was not for me as good as my favourites - The Libertines and Franz Ferdinand - his story of challenge from Tourette’s and mental health overwhelm with his choice of stepping back to rest and recover are inspiring for me… but to see him picking back up where he broke down was profound…

“These days, the word “inspirational” is deployed mostly as cardboard cliche or embarrassing hyperbole, but it’s hard to know how else to describe Capaldi’s return. That fizzled, deflating day in June 2023 (at Glastonbury on stage) will always stay with him, as much as this comeback will. But there’s power, and pride, to be found in both.”
The Independent
Indeed there is. There’s power and pride in breaking down publically to come back wiser and still authentic. Well done and thank you 🙏 Mr C for reminding us all of the power of authenticity!

Scottish singer Lewis Capaldi told the Glastonbury crowds, “I’m back baby”, as he played a surprise set, two years after a performance at the festival during...