Sharon Tunstall Therapies

10/08/2025

09/07/2025

The smallest of gestures can impact massively.
I experienced this myself earlier on my early dog walk when a lovely gentleman stopped me with a stick for Walter, said he watches us every morning hunting for sticks (Walter’s favourite game is chase) so he thought he’d save us the time and have one ready so we get longer to play, how sweet was this ❤️

Some kindnesses are so powerful they move you to tears. Not because they are grand or loud or monumental, but because they arrive exactly when the weight is too much to bear.

A stranger who waits with you on the curb whilst your hands shake. A friend who texts "I'm here" without needing a reply. The colleague who says “take a break for a moment - I’ve got this.” These moments often don’t cost the other person a thing; and yet, they are priceless.

Because they don’t come to fix you; they come to make room for you. And in that room - spacious, gentle, unthreatening - you find, often without meaning to, that you can finally fall apart. That you don’t have to keep holding it all together. The armour you’ve worn for so long starts to slip, not because someone pries it off, but because - for the first time in a while - you’re not bracing for harm.

It’s the safety of it.

The tenderness.

The sense that someone is holding a bit of the weight with you, even if they can’t take it away.

And that gentle moment; that safe space, that permission - being allowed to crumble without judgment - can feel like relief.

Yes, some kindnesses are so powerful that they move us to tears. But maybe it isn’t the kindness itself that makes it powerful.

Maybe it’s how much we need it.

*****

For anyone who's ever said (or been told) "don't hug me, you'll make me cry." ❤

Becky Hemsley 2025
Beautiful artwork by the brilliant Lisa Aisato

08/07/2025

Experiencing grief as an individual with a neurodevelopmental condition can intensify a loss. This article explains how loss can impact someone with ADHD and highlights the emotions many experience including the need for a close support network.

Navigating grief with ADHD? This article will help you realize unique challenges and tackle misconceptions - like what's 'wrong' in grieving - to guide your healing.

15/06/2025

I like to think all the Dads in heaven get to come down today and spend it with their precious ones. But you must invite them. Say their names, play their favourite music and tell that joke that made everyone groan. They will come. The thing about love is, it doesn’t die, you see. It places precious parts of souls in loved one’s hearts and that, that lasts an eternity. Much longer than we can imagine. So, if you are finding today hard, look for them in the moments… I believe they’re trying really hard to let you know, they’re still here.

Donna Ashworth
‘Loss’

14/06/2025

If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.

1a. Every time you enter the room announce yourself. “Hi Mom- it’s Margaret.”
NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.

1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.

2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.

3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.

4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.

5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.

6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.

7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.

8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.

9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.

10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.

11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.

12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.

13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.

14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.

15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.

16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.

17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.

18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.

19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.

20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.

21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”

ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia.

In Honor of all those I know of, have loved and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s. ❤️

04/06/2025

This list doesn’t need to stop at age 70, live out those goals for as long as you can. It might be easier when you’re younger but you have much more time to be mischievous when you’re retired!!

28/05/2025

In a world overflowing with negativity, just thought I’d share an activity I like to do, which clients have found helpful.
Start up a note in your phone “good things happen”, or anything that resonates with you, then try to add something daily if you can. Nice to look back on when you’re struggling.
We have also done similar as a family where we write positive aspects of our day on paper, then place them in the “positivity jar” which we then read through on New Year’s Eve, a nice reminder that even during tougher years there’s always some sparkle somewhere!

21/05/2025

As a parent of 2 wonderfully complicated teens, this is very relatable!
Certainly rollercoaster years but hang in there, both parents and teens, we’ll get through this! ❤️

The teenage years will break you.

It will test your resolve, your patience, your parenting choices.

It will make you feel lonely and ostracized when you’re the only parent saying no.

It will make you feel insignificant and unworthy when your teenager lashes out.

It will make you wonder how one person can have so much laundry.

It will make you feel broken and lost when you can’t seem to get your kid back on track.

It will test your ability to keep your mouth shut when you need to pick and choose your battles.

You will feel like your head may explode when you walk past their room.

It will test your ability to forgive when your teenager messes up—which they will, over and over again.

It will make you wonder where you went wrong.

It will make you feel helpless as you watch your kid face a world so much more complicated than the one we grew up in just two decades ago.

It will test your nerves as you watch them hop into a car or go on a trip or even a date, leaving you to feel helpless and unable to protect them.

It will make you feel weak and feeble when you can’t help them quash their anxiety about school or relationships or how they will survive in this tough world.

It will make you bone-tired from driving and worry and worry and driving.

It will make you feel the weight of guilt so heavy it crushes you.

Yes, these challenging teenage years will break you.

You’ll smile all day when your teenage daughter surprisingly pecks you on the cheek before she left for school or drop everything you’re doing because your son asked you to watch a video on his phone, your two heads almost touching looking at the small screen.

Your heart will burst with happiness when you hear how kind they’ve been to a stranger.

You’ll find yourself challenged to look at the world in new ways because of their budding idealism.

You’ll feel unabashed pride as they find their passions, finish their education, start chasing their dreams.

You’ll see glimpses of the person they are becoming, and you begin to look forward to seeing what they will do with their life.

You will learn to accept change, because there is no turning back.

You’ll learn that any communication is good communication, so you’ll figure out emojis and snaps and Instagram.

You will buy the best snacks, so they’ll want to bring their friends over, and you’ll spend your last dollar at Starbucks just to get a few extra moments in the car with them.

You will sneak into their room, and they will still be awake. But as they are laying in their bed scrolling their phone or finishing homework or listening to music, for a brief moment, you’ll see that toddler face again, and your heart will break into pieces. And then when they look up at you with sleepy eyes as you kiss them on the forehead, and if you are very fortunate, say something like, “I love you too,” you’ll sleep easy that night.

Yes, these teenage years will break you in every beautiful and brutal way, but if you’re lucky, you’ve raised people who will help put you back together again.

Love hard.

Whitney Fleming Writes

01/05/2025

A pain like no other but important to sit in and process

Jim Carrey una volta disse:
Il dolore non è solo un'emozione: è uno strappo interiore, uno spazio vuoto dove un tempo viveva qualcosa di prezioso. Scava dentro di noi, lasciando un vuoto profondo là dove prima risiedeva l’amore.

All'inizio sembra insopportabile, come una ferita che non smetterà mai di sanguinare. Ma con il tempo, i bordi cominciano a rimarginarsi. Il dolore si attenua, ma l'impronta resta — come un silenzioso ricordo di ciò che è stato.
La verità è che non si “supera” davvero il dolore: si impara a conviverci.
L’amore che abbiamo provato non svanisce; si trasforma. Rimane nell’eco delle risate, nel calore dei ricordi, nei momenti in cui, istintivamente, tendiamo la mano verso ciò che non c’è più.
E va bene così.

Il dolore non è un peso da nascondere, né una debolezza di cui vergognarsi.
È la prova più autentica che l’amore è esistito, che qualcosa di straordinario ha attraversato la nostra vita.
Perciò, concediti di sentire. Concediti di soffrire. Concediti di ricordare.

Non esistono tempi prestabiliti, né modi giusti o sbagliati per elaborare un lutto.
Ci saranno giorni pesanti e giorni più leggeri. Momenti in cui la tristezza ti travolgerà all’improvviso e altri in cui sentirai solo gratitudine per ciò che hai vissuto.

Onora il tuo dolore, perché è sacro.
È la testimonianza della profondità del tuo cuore.
E con il tempo, attraverso il dolore, troverai una nuova forma di serenità — non perché avrai dimenticato, ma perché avrai imparato a portare con te, fianco a fianco, l'amore e la perdita.

03/09/2024

Apologies for the silence but life’s been a little hectic of late but I’m back now after some well needed family time and self care!
Thought I’d share some wise words from one of my favourites Frida Kahlo

Frida Kahlo once told her husband, "I'm not asking you to kiss me or to apologize when I think you're wrong. I won't ask you to hug me when I need it most, or to tell me I'm beautiful, even if it's a lie. I won’t ask you to write me sweet words, call me to share how your day went, or tell me you miss me. I won’t ask you to appreciate what I do for you, to care for me when my soul is weary, or to support my decisions. I won’t even ask you to listen when I have a thousand stories to share. I won’t ask you for anything—not even to stay by my side forever. Because if I have to ask, I don’t want it anymore."

This powerful declaration reflects the struggle between unfulfilled needs and an external locus of control. While acknowledging our needs doesn't diminish their value, it does suggest a dependency that undermines our self-worth. True connection and fulfillment in relationships come not from demands or expectations but from the voluntary exchange of care and affection. When we start to ask or, worse, demand these things, we often sacrifice our self-respect in the process.

The essence of a relationship should be a mutual, voluntary exchange—an exchange of pleasure, not obligations. It’s not anyone’s duty to meet our expectations. The more we rely on others to make us feel whole, the more we reveal our own immaturity. In contrast, maturity is reflected in our focus on the well-being of others, rather than on our own needs.

Unfortunately, Western society often emphasizes the notion of "What can you do to make me happy?" rather than "What can I do to make you happy?" When someone doesn’t bother to ask what they can do for you, it indicates where their focus lies—on themselves. Instead of trying to educate or manipulate others into valuing us more, we should focus on becoming significant in their eyes naturally, without resorting to pressure, guilt, or shame.