The_trauma_therapist

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The_trauma_therapist

Hi, I am an adult and child trained trauma therapist.

15/04/2025

We all have protective parts that were set down during trauma. These served to protect us and keep us safe. Even now they are doing this and how are they doing this... they make us behave in certain ways in order to protect ourselves whenever we feel a situation is similar to the trauma we experienced.

What might be some of these protective behaviours then?

These can be things like people pleasing, finding comfort in certain things like substances or activities.

If you experience any of these I know it's hard but just know your body is trying to protect you. ✨️

25/02/2025

It isn't uncommon for people to not remember vividly their trauma memories. Infact this is quite common and it's often a defence mechanism to protect you from the pain of those memories.

Just because you don't have clear memories though doesn't mean your body doesn't remember what happened to you. Trauma sits in the body, it gets stuck in your body and so you although you might not remember your body, your nervous system & your subconscious memory very much remembers.

13/08/2024

Hi friends. So my latest newsletter went out. I thought I'd share some snippets with you all:

The topic this month was around how we tend to invalidate certain traumas because they 'don't fit' what we might typically think of trauma to be. Often we think it is linked to major life events such as war and natural disasters but actually trauma is anything that overwhelms our ability to cope and this can be anything.

In my practice I've seen many different life events from loss of a pet to racism that have caused trauma.

So just a reminder it isn't always just the context of what's happened but it is how it affected us internally which causes the trauma.

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter you can do at the link below :

https://somla-zaman-psychotherapist.ck.page/30ba621730

24/07/2024

Trauma if left unprocessed doesn't just disappear, it remains stuck in the body. It's almost like a negative energy that remains circulating in the body that causes various symptoms. This energy (trauma) needs releasing otherwise it will remain stuck in the body and the trauma will remain unprocessed.

12/07/2024

Do you feel like you need to make everyone happy? You're not alone... it's very common for complex trauma sufferers to feel they need to please everyone.

This isn't something you've just developed, it's a learnt behaviour. You learnt it from somewhere.

Maybe this is how you survived as a child in your home environment.... through constantly pleasing your parents? Or maybe you were only validated when you made others happy? What did these messages teach you? Well you most likely learnt that making others happy was the key to your self worth. It defined who you are.

As an adult now it's likely you're still living as that younger self, you're still holding onto those beliefs that I'm worthy if I make others happy, but it's time to let this go... you're not that younger you anymore. You've grown, you matured and you are worthy regardless, it's time to put yourself first.

Is this something you struggle with? Let me know in the comments.

Follow for more trauma related content.

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08/07/2024

In order to heal from trauma it's important to get to know your body, it's important to befriend your bodily sensations.

Trauma causes physical sensations to become stuck in the body, trauma is physical and although it is hard unless we get learn to get to know these physical symptoms and how trauma manifests itself physically in our bodies we will struggle to heal.

Physical self awareness is the first step in helping yourself to heal from your past.

Do you agree? Let me know in the comments.

23/06/2024

Our inner child is a smaller version of ourselves that we carry around with us all the time.

When we experience some kind of difficulty which causes us an emotional shift of some sort such as anxiety and sadness it's likely to be our inner self that's calling out, it's likely to be our inner that'd feeling vulnerable.

It's important therefore for us to in those moments soothe our inner child with some kind words. This will help to regulate your nervous system making you and your inner self feel safer.

Can you add some words to these? What words help to soothe your inner child?

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20/06/2024

A really key part of trauma therapy and trauma processing is nervous system regulation. We need to be able to regulate our nervous systems. Regulation however doesn't mean you need to be calm all the time, trauma healing doesn't come through your nervous system being calm all the time.

Infact it is about flexibility and being able to adapt your responses based on the situation you are in, it isn't functional or even realistic to be calm all the time. The key thing is you are able to be in control of your nervous system and your responses, you are able to adapt your responses to the situation you are in and this is where understanding your window of tolerance comes in and learning what you need to do to be able to stay within your window of tolerance.

Sending you lots of healing 🌷

11/06/2024

This quote by Mark Wolynn really sums up trauma. Many trauma experts have talked about how abandonment and being left to deal with things alone can be traumatic.

Sometimes it's the very fact we've been left to deal with traumatic events is what can cause the trauma. That lack of empathic witness is what causes the trauma.

This is something many of my clients experience and it may have been something you have also experienced. Healing will come when you connect with others and feel safe again, be this with a friend or a pet or some place you feel safe. This doesn't need to anything big, it could be something small like a glimmer in your day where you feel this safety.

Can you relate to this? Let me know in the comments

Sending you lots of healing ❤️

06/06/2024

I know it's hard but sometimes you have to go through it to get over it or to just be at peace.

To anyone on this journey keep going, you're doing so well.

18/04/2024

Do you agree?

Learning to regulate is something that is taught to us, but here's the thing in order for our parents or caregivers to teach us how to regulate they need to know how to regulate and if they were never taught how to regulate they can't teach you how to regulate and the cycle continues until someone says 'stop.'

Are you going to be the one who says stop?

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Manchester
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http://www.cbttherapyuk.com/

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