Zoe Moss Counselling, Trafalgar House, 5/7 High Lane, Chorlton, Manchester (2025)

24/05/2024

I was looking everywhere for my AirPods today. My heart sank when I remembered the 'clunk' that my cargo pants had made when I dropped them on the floor when I was sorting the clean washing into piles. Yep, I'd put them through the wash..........

My automatic response was 'Zoe, you idiot', but halfway through that last, horrible word I stopped myself.

Why do we expect more from ourselves than others? Why am I an idiot for making a genuine mistake but if anyone else told me they had put their AirPods in the wash I would feel genuinely sorry for them? Why do we think it's normal and ok to call ourselves stupid, idiot, loser?

So what happened? I noticed what was happening and made the choice to change the way I reacted. I changed my annoyance to empathy for myself. I told myself that I am only human and am not perfect and made a mistake. I said 'poor you' to myself.

This is something that is great to learn to do. It can be really difficult to change habits of a lifetime, but it can be done. The first step is to notice the thoughts that you want to change, and there are techniques that can help you do that. The next is to challenge that critical voice, to treat it firmly, but with compassion.

Having self compassion can change the way you react to the world and the challenges that we all face everyday, as human beings.

As for my AirPods, I sadly opened the case, and noticed that it was completely dry. I tried them – they were in perfect working order.

30/04/2024

In our latest blog Zoe Moss Counselling talks about the difference between overthinkng and reflection, and how to manage negative thinking.

https://counsellingrooms.org.uk/overthinking-vs-reflection/

28/04/2024

When you plant the lettuce
If it does not grow well
You don't blame the lettuce
You look for reason's it's not doing well
It may need more fertiliser or more water or less sun
You never blame the lettuce
Thich Nhat Hanh

People are often so annoyed at themselves for not feeling ok.

'I should be able to control my thoughts'
'I should be able to snap myself out of this mood'
'What is wrong with me?'

They are blaming the lettuce.

When you have grown up in an environment that was far from ideal, or when work is really stressful, or when there has been trauma in your life, or for some reason you can't put your finger on, the lettuce may not grow well. It can be really helpful to explore the reasons behind this, so that moving forward, through understanding and positive change, you can help the lettuce recover and start flourishing again.

P.S. Yes I do see those scrappy looking beetroot at the front of that picture. Being a very rookie gardener I had no idea what they needed but I just want to say that at no point did I blame the beetroot (or myself, I was trying my best 🤣)

24/04/2024

Ok, so I know that this is a bad photo of a Cafe Nero coffee and not an artfully taken shot of a cold brew from a cool coffee shop but it makes me really happy.
Why? Because to me having the time to sit in a coffee shop and write this post signifies change, and change that I have chosen. A month ago I was juggling being a therapist with another part time job and now I'm a full time therapist.
Did I hate my old job? No! It had many great points about it. It gave me the opportunity to improve the wellbeing of others, was flexible and my colleagues were amazing.
So why did you leave? I hear you ask...... Well, I was anxious and didn't know why. I was bored (I'd been doing the job for 18 years). I was juggling too much, working more than full time when taking into account both roles. When I explored how I was feeling I realised that something had to change.
Now don't get me wrong, I know change isn't as easy as saying 'I'm going to pack in the job that is making me unhappy'. I appreciate that people have different responsibilities and a lot are not in the position to do that. I was lucky enough that my old job have always been really supportive and that I could build up my clients until it was financially viable to leave.
However, regardless of your position I think that discovering what is making you unhappy or anxious and introducing the concept of change can be the first step towards building the future that you want. One of my favourite sayings is 'knowledge is power, but only if you use it'.
If you feel like something needs to change, whether work, or something in your private life, or even if you don't know what but you want to work it out, please feel free to contact me. As well as being a therapist, I am a qualified coach and I can help you work towards introducing positive change into your life.

www.zoemosscounselling.co.uk

Address

Trafalgar House, 5/7 High Lane, Chorlton
Manchester
M219DJ

Website

http://www.zoemosscounselling.co.uk/

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