Rising Phoenix Counselling

30/06/2025

10/06/2025

"Children who suffer unresolved trauma frequently act out in their adult life the traumas they couldn't master in childhood fantasy and play.

We often fail to understand who behaves outside the norm ultimately make sense. We may fail to see the person in the full context of their life. We may not ask questions, listen to what is said and not said. We may focus only on the panic attacks or compulsive behaviour.

We frequently see ourselves or others as an alcoholic, an over-eater, a bulimic or an adult child of alcoholic parents. In this way we fail to see or hear that the many symptoms of trauma are truly attempts at mastery, self protection and survival. Human beings are more than their behaviours.

When we categorise, we dehumanise, even with the best of intentions. When we see others through our own experiences, rather than paying attention to what they see through theirs, we miss understanding the unique pain of the child inside them".

Jane Middelton-Moz
Children of trauma - Rediscovering your discarded self.

08/06/2025

How trauma is silenced:

* Get over it
* You must be weak
*What's wrong with you? (Crazy making).
* Attention seeker
* Others have it worse
* Victim blaming
*Shaming
*Punishing
*Judging
*Don't air your dirty laundry in public
* Exaggerating
*You're too sensitive
*Trouble maker, defient, hot aired, unforgiving, difficult for being angry at injustice.

Then we are told that we live in a culture that supports mental health, I've seen some individuals that do this claim to be mental health advocates, society can't tolerate seeing, hearing pain and emotions and behaviours always negatively labelled and seen. A culture of toxic positivity to silence the pain or to make the sufferer seem like the defective one. Trauma is to be accepted; not ignored, dismissed, unrecognised, invalidated, pathologised and above all not seen and heard. It exists only to continue not to be prevented, understood, acknowledged, validated, spoken and supported.

Silence kills, repressed emotions kill, unprocessed trauma can kill. Talking about it doesn't kill anyone, it can help begin the healing process but who is ever going to want to talk about it if we shut down the person in pain, judge their emotions and survival ways? Who is ever going to want to reach out?

Emotions are not good or bad, they are part of being human and guides to our inner world. Pain doesn't go away by pretending it isn't there, it only makes those suffering make it go away by means that can threaten their life because life itself as rendered them invisible, bad or mad.

04/06/2025

Remember where doors may be closed, create your own path but never give up. Life will test you, life is made for hardships. Don't close doors that may lead you to places just because you haven't found the key yet or the right one to open it. Sometimes a closed door isn't closed for good, it's just waiting to be opened in ways we may still need to try.

Basically don't give up just because things get tough. Know when to quit and walk away and when to stay and fight the storm. Don't be scared of the unknown, be scared to never have known. Take healthy risks because a life without them is a life un-lived. Leave few regrets upon your death bed, and what if's swimming inside your head.

21/05/2025

Long after the event, traumatised individuals feel that a part of themselves has died. The most profoundly afflicted wish that they were dead - Trauma and recovery - Judith Herman.

20/05/2025

Society and people always seem to find a way to dismiss trauma. It can feel like it's never validated and it's somehow all okay if say, we went to war but we didn't get killed, we were r***d but not by a stranger and no physical injuries, we nearly lost a baby but they survived....
Toxic positivity and others have it worse and why are you still going on about that? Then we say we want su***de prevention and label those that can't heal as mentally ill? What a messed up culture and beliefs and attitudes that are sick not those traumatised.