Fern Tree Counselling & Clinical Supervision by Tracey Whalley

28/04/2025

Perhaps our “life's purpose” has nothing to do with what job we will find, what new thing we will manifest or attract for ourselves, or what mythical awakening journey we will complete. Perhaps the purpose of our life is to fully live, finally, to touch each here and now moment with our presence and with the gift of our one, wild heart.
And to do whatever we can to help others, to hold them when they are hurting, to listen carefully to their stories and the ways they are attempting to make sense of a world that has gone a bit mad.
To speak kind words and not forget the erupting miracle of the other as it appears in front of us. Perhaps this is the most radical gift that we can all give.

Matt Licata 🌼

Artist Credit: Lore Pemberton

24/04/2025

Instead of saying, "I know what it feels like", let's say "I cannot imagine your heartbreak".
Instead of saying, "You're strong, you'll get through this, let's say " You'll hurt, and I'll be here.
Instead of saying, "You look like you're doing well, Let's say, "How are you holding up today?"
Instead of saying, "Healing takes time", let's say "Healing has no timeline".
Instead of saying, "Everything happens for a reason, let's say "This must feel so terribly senseless right now".
And when there are no words to say at all, you don't need to try and find some. Love speaks in silences too.
~ 'Words' by Ullie-Kaye
~ Art by Jennifer Yoswa

02/09/2024

A client said, “I’m really hard on myself.”

I said, “Talk to me as if I am you. BE hard on me.”

Why did I ask them to do this? Because I wanted to know what they actually experienced - what voice and attitude lived inside them.

She said, “You’re a loser, no one will ever love you.”

No one will ever love you - that’s REALLY HARD, REALLY PAINFUL, I thought.

Why isn’t she saying, “The violence that lives inside of me is devastating, I can hardly get out of bed living this way.”

I’ll tell you why:

She didn’t have a compassionate witness when people were hard on her in the past and now there is no inner witness, no self-compassion. So now she just thinks, “I’m really hard on myself.”

Much inner criticism is actually inner abuse that mirrors earlier abuse or internalized oppression. When we don’t see it or “hear” it clearly, it eats away at us, eroding our esteem, our energy, and our voice.

Many of us have awakened to the prevalence of early abuse and trauma. We need that same awakening about how that is internalized, lives inside of us, keeping us locked in that early abuse over and over.

David Bedrick

30/03/2024

Did you know that dissociation was the KEY to working with trauma?

No, not because we have to 'deal with' and 'overcome' dissociation.

Not because dissociation is a hindrance to further healing.

Because ALL trauma arises from a system overload and when our system is overloaded our natural organic and response is to dissociate.

Dissociation creates space from the traumatic event; it gives us distance, a sense of 'remove' or detachment.

And, here's the best part of our ingenious dissociative response: IF WE ALLOW DISSOCIATION TO GO FAR ENOUGH, IF WE ALLOW OUR BODY AND PSYCHE TO GET ALL THE SPACE IT REALLY NEEDS, OUR EYES CAN BEGIN TO SEE, TO BEAR WITNESS.

If we don't connect with these WITNESSING EYES, our trauma work will simply keep up spinning, cycling around and around.

In short, we won't have enough self-awareness and self-love to bring healing to our trauma. WE WILL SIMPLY TRY TO HEAL IT FROM INSIDE IT - THAT LEADS TO RETRAUMATIZATION.

So what do we do? We allow dissociation to take us far away - as far away as you can imagine being. Some folks go to the ocean, to the mountains, to their grandmother's house, even to the moon or stars.

Then we look back at the traumatic event BEFORE WE GO INTO THE TRAUMATIC EVENT OR STORY, BEFORE WE WORK WITH OUR SOMATIC RESPONSES EMBEDDED IN THE TRAUMA.

David Bedrick

29/05/2022

Credit to David Bedrick

In this life, there are certain things you have to steal. If you really want them.
You may have to steal your power back. Who took it? A parent, a Church, an illness, a gun, a great storm?
You may have to steal back your voice, which has become too quiet, loud, serious, demure, confident... not your own.
Money and capitalism stole my self worth from me. I had to lose all my money to steal it back.
And my poetry was first taken away by my father. "Can you make a living writing poetry?" And there it went.
When I first met one of my greatest teachers, I dreamt that I broke into his house and stole his paintings. I didn't want his theory and method, I wanted his art. I got it, but I had to learn the theory and methods to get in the door.
In the last few years, I had to steal the grace of aging from a culture that prizes youth, insisting that face creams, prostate supplements and eight hours of sleep will stop me from growing old. Now I long to have a face like tree bark and a voice ripe with whale tones. (Beloved poet, Meridel LeSueur, once said to me, "Ripeness is all." Did she have to steal the grace, or did she always have it?)
What of yours is secured under lock and key, guarded by watchful eyes, or buried in some far off land? Whatever it is, case the promised land, plan your heist, collect your provisions, and set sail.
David Bedrick

27/05/2022

https://www.facebook.com/742359879214163/posts/3732629490187172/

"do you remember the first time you were called annoying?
how your breath stopped short in your chest
the way the light drained from your eyes, though you knew your cheeks were ablaze
the way your throat tightened as you tried to form an argument that got lost on your tongue.
your eyes never left the floor that day.
you were 13.

you’re 20 now, and i still see the light fade from your eyes when you talk about your interests for 'too long,'
apologies littering every other sentence,
words trailing off a cliff you haven’t jumped from in 7 years.
i could listen to you forever, though i know speaking for more than 3 uninterrupted minutes makes you anxious.
all i want you to know is that you deserve to be heard
for 3 minutes
for 10 minutes
for 2 hours
forever.

there will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty, your wisdom, your heart;
mostly because they can’t handle their own.

but you will never be
and have never been
'too much.'"
—instagram.com/tywrent

artwork by instagram.com/visualpotions

26/05/2022

21/03/2022

http://www.forharriet.com/2016/03/depression-is-political.html?m=1

So many of our mental health issues are exacerbated by the oppression we face.

11/02/2022

Lets start asking what has happened to you rather than what is wrong with you and start witnessing people's experiences

As rates of diagnosis rise, a fierce debate rages in psychiatry. Are we experiencing a parallel pandemic, or having a rational response to a traumatic world?