Infinite Recovery - Addiction, Trauma & Real Healing

09/02/2026

Evidence Based Therapy vs Healing is a conversation most people aren’t having and it’s costing us real recovery.

Many therapies and addiction treatments are called “evidence based,” but what does that actually mean? Often, it means certain behaviors or outcomes were measured not that true healing happened.

Healing isn’t linear. It’s messy. It can’t always be measured by data, charts, or performance markers. Real healing is about relational well-being how we relate to ourselves, to others, and to life itself.

You can check every evidence based box and still feel disconnected, exhausted, or unalive. Because data doesn’t equal healing. Healing is aliveness. Healing is coming home to yourself.

This video explores the missing piece in modern recovery and therapy the journey back to self, presence, and connection that science alone can’t measure.

Learn more at: https://infiniterecoveryproject.com
Get my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1068323302

09/02/2026

𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭/𝟱: 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆 𝗜𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗜𝗹𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 - 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁

Before we talk about why most therapy fails, we need to start with the most dangerous idea in the room, the belief in pathology

Pathology is the mind’s attempt to grasp suffering in binary terms, sick or well, normal or disordered, functioning or broken. It’s neat, It’s comforting, it offers the illusion of clarity. But it’s the first veil that obscures the deeper reality of the human experience

The mind is a pattern detecting machine, it seeks linear cause and effect, 'This happened, therefore I am like this', and it creates frameworks, diagnoses, labels, and timelines to make sense of internal chaos

But there are no answers in the mind

The moment we move into interpretation, analysis, or internal story building, we leave the intelligence of life. We replace the felt with the theorised, and we call this progress

Mental illness, as constructed in the modern clinical paradigm, is not the same as mental health. One is a framework, the other a reality for all people, one is imposed from the outside, the other is known from inside

As Szasz (1961) argued over 60 years ago, 'mental illness is a metaphor… the problem is not in the brain, but in the relationship between the person and their world.' Yet the system continues to treat suffering as a defect to be managed, rather than a signal to be met

Even the word 'treatment' implies something has gone wrong, but what if nothing has? What if the feelings, reactions, defences, and survival strategies are not errors, but intelligent adaptations shaped by experience?

When we stop trying to fix, label, or intervene, what we begin to see, again and again, is that:

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹

A well-being that never left, a presence that cannot be broken, a natural regulation that is always working, even when veiled by trauma, story, shame, or coping

That’s not poetic, it’s reality, it’s what Rogers pointed to when he said, 'When I look at the world I’m pessimistic, but when I look at people I’m optimistic' (Rogers, 1961)

𝗪𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆 - 𝗪𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁

Because the first illusion is that there’s something wrong to fix....
..The deeper reality is that there’s something right to uncover

𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀:
Szasz, T. (1961). The Myth of Mental Illness. New York: Harper & Row.
Rogers, C.R. (1961). On Becoming a Person. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

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This will be a 5 day exploration of why most therapy still misses the point, working from a few different angles, if you are interested to hear more, comment below.

Our next workshop - Nothing to Fix will be March 10th - Currently only 12 places remain https://learning.infiniterecoveryproject.com/nothing-to-fix-2-5-hour-live

08/02/2026

𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁 (𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜𝘁 𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴) - a 5 Day Exploration

You can be in therapy for years, understand your childhood, name your attachment style, spot every trigger and even become a therapist yourself...

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗰𝗸

- Still acting out
- Still chasing love in places that hurt
- Still organising your life around control and survival - while calling it recovery

Why?

Because most therapy, even the 'evolved' kind, is still built on the same broken foundation

- That you are separate
- That there is a solid entity you call I
- That something is wrong with the self
- That you need fixing
- That there is a diagnosis, a method......or a professional who can explain your suffering away

Even when the language is softer, 'trauma-informed,' 'nervous system regulation,' 'parts work' the energy can be the same

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳

Not if it’s built on distance
Not if the therapist is dissociated
Not if the client is still performing for safety
Not if the work is led by theory and not intimacy

Regardless of years in service, 2 phd's and a doctorate...

And not if the work begins with 'what’s wrong with you?' instead of 'what happened - and what did you need?'

Most therapy doesn’t fail because people are unwilling, it fails because the therapist hasn’t done their own work

Because safety is being performed, not lived
And the system still rewards performance, identity, and compliance

People get better at coping, better at masking and better at making it look like they’re healing - while still feeling lost

This series is about what gets missed, even in 'good' therapy and..
!especially in professional spaces

I’m here in this too
I’ve sat in those rooms, behind the clipboard, thinking I was doing deep work - while quietly hiding my own suffering, in fact thats why I created this work

Real healing didn’t begin for me until I let go of the identity, until I stopped trying to fix people and myself

When I knew without a doubt, there was nothing to fix..
!and something to feel

📅 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟭: Pathology Is the First Illusion
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟮: You Can’t Think Your Way Out of a Trauma Response
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟯: The Therapist Is Not the Medicine*
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟰: Why Clients Leave “Healed” - But Still Hiding
𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝟱: Nothing to Fix, Everything to Feel

Every model built on the idea of brokenness keeps people in orbit around what hurt, even those where the therapist hides their belief in their own brokenness.

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I received so many requests based on the previous 5 day series that I wrote so this is the next obvious one for me.

08/02/2026

𝗕𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻: 𝗪𝗵𝗼’𝘀 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁’𝘀 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗹?

In my work, it’s not supervision....
It’s not inserting models, frameworks, or clever questions into someone else’s process

It’s not helping you apply technique, It’s not managing risk or keeping compliance off your back....

and It’s not fixing your clients

- It’s not about performance review
- it’s not about feeling useful or clever or needed
- It’s about honesty

Can you tell the truth, to yourself, about what’s actually happening in the room?

What we do is real work, we get to see your greatness, your capacity to be a healing vessel for others, we will find what's right with you, we will not collude in pathology with any excuses about what is wrong, so...

You get to feel
You get to meet yourself
You get to sit in the uncomfortable places where your own stuckness shows up - because that is what’s showing up with your clients

Not theory, You

What we call “supervision” too often becomes an intellectual layer over something deeply relational

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁...

The same presence, attunement, and depth we offer to clients is what this space is made of

𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲....𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲

I can’t help you with your clients, but I can help you see why you’re stuck with them

And from there, everything changes
This isn’t professional development

𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗴𝘂𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

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Our next live experiential process where we learn in relationship is on March 10th will you join us?

https://learning.infiniterecoveryproject.com/nothing-to-fix-2-5-hour-live

07/02/2026

07/02/2026

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹

You can be fluent in parts work, trauma theory, attachment styles and still be emotionally unavailable

You can know the nervous system inside out and still be frozen in your own

Clients don’t regulate because you stay calm, they regulate when they feel you’re with them

We talk about safety, but safety isn’t a concept, it’s a felt sense

And if your body is dissociated, performative, or hidden behind technique, the client feels that too

The work isn’t to explain affect regulation, it’s to become the one who can be with dysregulation, not fix it, manage it, or reframe it

𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁

And if we haven’t learned to feel ourselves, then no modality, framework or credential will help us feel another

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This is exactly how we learn in our workshop nothing to fix, next date March 10th 5pm UK time.
https://learning.infiniterecoveryproject.com/nothing-to-fix-2-5-hour-live

06/02/2026

Abstinence is often treated as the goal of recovery but abstinence vs recovery are not the same thing.

Many people stay clean yet remain miserable, disconnected, and trapped in the same addictive patterns. When recovery becomes only about clean time and control, people stop asking for help when they actually need it most.

Addiction doesn’t disappear it shape-shifts.
Drugs and alcohol are replaced with money, s*x, gambling, work, or relationships. The behavior changes, but the internal void stays the same.

This is why abstinence alone doesn’t bring joy, peace, or contentment.
Real recovery doesn’t come from more control it begins where control ends.

If you’re focused only on abstinence, you may be missing the deeper healing that leads to real freedom.

Learn more at: https://infiniterecoveryproject.com
Get my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1068323302

06/02/2026

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿. 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗮 𝗺𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿

In the depth of any client relationship, what we encounter is not them, but us

Their resistance, their chaos, their silence, their grasping, their collapse…

Every reaction we have to them is a reflection of us, it's our history, our wounding, our edges

There’s a misunderstanding in most therapy in believing “they” are the problem

That the rupture lives over there

That if only the client were more open, more willing, more regulated, then the work would flow

But what if when we struggle with a client, it’s never just about them

It’s about the part of us that meets them there

- The unmet need
- The unprocessed pain
- The protector still running the show

Clients don’t bring our discomfort, they reveal it, like a perfect mirror

This is where real transformation begins. Not in fixing the other, but in recognising the mirror they hold, the gift they are to us

It’s why the therapeutic space is sacred, not because we hold power over the client, but because the relationship reveals the places where we have yet to come home to ourselves

It’s confronting
It’s humbling
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗰𝘆, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻𝘀

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This realisation alone will transform your therapy practice if you can see it, it's in every experience, and, it's intelligent, will control the room until it's work is done, the return home to yourself, your healing capacity increases every time.

05/02/2026

𝟳 𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻𝘀 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗱𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗔𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴

In this video, we explore seven subtle but significant signs that you may still be grappling with addiction even after stopping substance use. Learn how feelings of constant tension, over-reliance on structure, and a fear of relapse can indicate ongoing struggles. Understand how managing your life with over-discipline and misconstruing stability as true freedom might mean there's still work to be done on your recovery journey.

Sign 1: Tension During Good Times
Sign 2: Misinterpreting Stability
Sign 3: Constant Mental Management
Sign 4: The Illusion of Sobriety
Sign 5: Confusing Discipline with Freedom
Sign 6: Fear of Relapse
Sign 7: Bracing Against Life

Learn more at: https://infiniterecoveryproject.com
Get my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1068323302

05/02/2026

𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗙𝗶𝘅 - 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗽

Today’s Nothing to Fix workshop landed more deeply than I expected

Not because of clever ideas or polished explanations, but because of what happened between people

We worked experientially, In relationship, with listening, presence, and noticing what shows up in the body when nothing is being managed or fixed

What became clear again is something I keep relearning myself

Relational, somatic, and spiritual work only lives when it’s experienced

When it stays conceptual, it stays safe

When it’s relational, it becomes honest

People had real insights today, not the performative kind

The quiet kind that change how you see yourself, and how you sit with others

One of the strongest recognitions was

𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗻𝗲

Not intellectually
But emotionally
Somatically
Relationally

What we haven’t met in ourselves doesn’t disappear in a room, It dominates it

Our urgency
Our need to help
Our discomfort with silence
Our fear of not being useful

These things don’t make us bad practitioners or flawed humans

They simply show us where our own nervous systems learned to survive

And unless we’re willing to look at that, it quietly runs the work

What moved me today was how much shifted when people stopped doing and started noticing

How behaviour softened when it was seen as protection rather than pathology

How regulation happened without technique

How presence did more than effort ever could

I wasn’t teaching this from the outside

I was in it too, feeling my way through

Listening to my own impulses to intervene
Feeling my own edges
Letting the room work on me as much as I worked with it

That’s the work I’m interested in now, not fixing people, not adding more frameworks

But creating spaces where what’s already here can be felt, seen, and allowed to reorganise naturally

𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝘅
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲

if you're interested in a workshop on nothing to fix feel free to send a DM

04/02/2026

Most people misunderstand addiction relapse.

Addiction relapse explained simply isn’t about willpower, discipline, or forgetting what to do.
People don’t reach for substances because they want to self-destruct they reach because the effort of holding themselves together finally collapses.

By the time the substance appears, something deeper has already failed.
The nervous system is exhausted.
The body has run out of capacity.
Control has become too expensive to maintain.

Most recovery models focus on strengthening control better rules, better discipline, more vigilance. And for a while, that works. But control always breaks under pressure.

What we call “relapse” is often relief the moment the effort stops.

That doesn’t mean addiction is the answer.
It means the body was never taught another way to release.

Real recovery isn’t about more control it’s about teaching the system how to let go without collapse.

Learn more at: https://infiniterecoveryproject.com
Get my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1068323302

04/02/2026

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝗕𝗲 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗧𝗼𝗼

We rarely talk about it. But many people come out of therapy carrying more shame than they went in with

Not because the therapist was abusive, but because the system is..

When intimacy is replaced with insight, and connection is replaced with concepts, even the most well meaning therapy can quietly become another experience of abandonment or control

Clients don’t always know this is happening, they leave sessions with better language, more insight, new ways of explaining their pain, but still carrying it

When therapy is rooted in pathology, diagnosis, or model-first thinking, it becomes a place where people are subtly told

“There’s something wrong with you, and here’s how to fix it”

Even when you don't say it directly, or even think it's true, it's happening

This is not healing, it's institutionalised dissociation

And the trauma it causes is often invisible, even to the practitioner

Because the therapist feels helpful, and the client feels validated, but neither are in real relationship

That’s the quiet harm

When technique replaces presence

When neutrality replaces humanity

When processing becomes endless loops without actual integration

And yes, even in trauma-informed therapy, this happens

Because being trauma-informed is not the same as being trauma-integrated

And being nervous-system-aware is not the same as having real relational capacity

Most therapy today is designed to manage symptoms, not meet the person underneath them

It’s designed to soothe, stabilise, or regulate, all useful things, but not the whole story

If the therapist cannot meet their own shame, terror, or rage... they will unconsciously defend against it in the client

And no model, however compassionate, will bridge that gap

True healing requires intimacy, not professionalism, It requires presence, not process

Questions if you are willing:
Is my method a bridge, or a barrier?
Is my presence softening defense, or subtly reinforcing it?
Am I willing to be human first, and trained second?

Because when modality comes before humanity...

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹