Hayley Dunn - Counsellor & Doula

11/06/2025

https://www.facebook.com/100039830473067/posts/1538747457462922/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

17/02/2025

12/02/2025

Parenting neurodivergent teenagers can mean turning our parenting on its head. I am running this 4 session course in March, starting March 6th at 7pm-9pm (BST)

To find out more please go to my website https://www.autisticadvocate.co.uk/event-details/parenting-neurodivergent-teens-3

I will cover topics such as the ND teenage brain, monotropism, executive functioning, puberty, gender and s*xuality, communication, demands avoidance, mental health, burnout and recovery.

Don't miss out!

ALL SESSIONS RECORDED

10/02/2025

"Why do you need a label?" Is a question I'm often asked. "What will it change?"

At 38, I've spent my life KNOWING that I'm different from other people but have never understood why. My struggles have been internal and, therefore, not visible. Many neurodivergent people mask to hide their authentic selves in order to fit in with neurotyipcal people.

From as early as 3, when we enter the education system, we are programmed to be the same as our peers. We dress the same, sit the same, learn the same things, and behave in the same way. On a subconscious level, we believe that difference is wrong. Our nervous system then perceives neurotypical people as a threat, and masking is a trauma response to protect us from being SEEN. Think of masking as a shield.

Masking, especially for extended periods of time, can have detrimental effects on a person's mental health and wellbeing and can often lead to autistic burnout.

In understanding the many different aspects of , I have learned so much about myself. It has given me a REASON for my brain and nervous system operating the way they do.

How can we ACCEPT ourselves if we do not UNDERSTAND ourselves?

Today, I bravely told a group of strangers that I am autistic at a women's creative circle . For me, it is imperative that I am able to share who I TRULY am with people after hiding away for 38 years.
I am learning to love and accept myself as I am.

It is vital to identify differences as soon as they are discovered to encourage authenticity amongst our young people to save them from carrying a lifetime time of Shame and suffering!

In adulthood, I know many people who don't want to seek professional diagnosis. We are all on our own paths but for me,

KNOWING I am autistic changes EVERYTHING!

I can UNMASK atlast!

Part 2- we will look at the importance of diagnosis for children.


❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜🤍❤️🧡

Change is coming, I can feel it in the air.
To help that happen,
I invite you to like, follow, and share.

Majella xx

18/10/2024

Making choices to look after our neurodivergent families in the way they actually need, sometimes means walking away from the things are not actually helping us.

Sometimes it means being late.
Sometimes it means not having another meeting because actually what’s the point?
Sometimes it means saying, ‘No thank you.’
Sometimes it means choosing what is actually important – important for your child, not important for other people. Sometimes we need to be able to walk away.
Full of options.
With positivity because we’ve started to make changes and see the green shoots.
Because this way is breaking us all.
Sometimes we need to be able to walk away.
For our family.
For what we really need.
To a new way. To nice times. ‘You don’t care?’
No, I really do, but not about that stuff.
I care about not losing any more time with those that need me.
So I’m walking away.

A Different Kind of Parenting-Neurodivergent families finding a way through together by Eliza Fricker.

Join myself and Annie Ridout for the online book launch this Monday!

I have added some free tickets so grab them while you can, all other donation tickets go to charity..

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/eliza-fricker-in-conversation-with-annie-ridout-tickets-1021518819287?aff=oddtdtcreator

11/10/2024

the positives of ADHD

10/10/2024

05/10/2024

"Women's Health: Supporting your Nervous System through Motherhood, Midlife, and Beyond" is a FREE educational webinar series offered by Polyvagal Institute, featuring doula, educator, and polyvagal health coach Chantal Traub.

In this series of four live online sessions, Chantal offers holistic guidance for women across the lifespan, and provides tools, education, and embodied practices to support you and your nervous system through life's transitions. Designed for women of all ages--or for anyone who loves or supports women in their daily life or professional work.
Dr. Stephen Porges will join Chantal for Session Two on Tuesday, October 15 to give an in-depth look at the polyvagal perspective on this topic.

Attend one session, or all four!
If you are unable to join us live in real time for any of the sessions, please register to receive the recordings by email. ​​
Find details and sign up at the link in our bio or here:
https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/womenshealthwebinarseries

03/10/2024

This is so important to acknowledge! This is why ND people are particularly prone to addictions.

Many people believe they have an addictive personality. But on a deeper level, what they’re struggling with is: an inability to self soothe.

When we can’t soothe ourselves (which just means feel and calm down from an emotional experience)— we seek external things that will do this for us. This can be substances, shopping, gambling, chronic scrolling, s*x, or anything else that relieves and distracts us.

We learn how to self soothe beginning at birth. For babies and young children, developmentally, there is no such thing as self soothing. We need co-regulation— or an adult who sees us struggling and offers calm support a majority of the time. Through this experience we develop the ability to self soothe. We understand “ok, when I am upset I can breathe, feel intense emotions, and know they will eventually pass.” This gives us the ability to cope and navigate the future stressors of life.

If we don’t have attuned parent figures who noticed our stress and help us calm from it— we start to become overtaken by our emotional experience. Our attachment systems are designed for others to help us, and instead we learn: “I must do this alone. No one can help me. I’m too overwhelmed.” Children with this experience will start to cope in many ways: chronic day dreaming, using food to calm/numb, or “acting out” behaviors (an attempt to seek connection.)

Later, they will become adults with addictive personalities. They will seek external things to relief internal feelings. Even if those behaviors bring them misery, pain, or a loss of control.

The beautiful part of all of this is that we can learn how to self soothe at any age. We can slowly, widen our nervous system window of tolerance and respond to our emotions rather than react to them.

We are not on default settings, and can always heal