Tina Cockram, SEND Family Support

12/04/2026

✨ Helping Young People Understand What’s Beneath the Surface ✨

In my mentoring sessions, we gently explore what a young person may not yet have the words for.

Many children and young people struggle to explain how they feel. That’s why we use simple, supportive tools like mind maps and the iceberg visual.

I usually start off with a few seasons getting to know the young person around a game or activity, then we slowly explore our feelings, usually expanding that enjoyed activity, as that way it does not feel as imposing and direct.

My training is in person centred counselling and I believe we should be led by the young person at a pace that suits them. This approach is very reassuring and enables them to feel safe, adopting this approach you notice a change starts to happen in time.

What we often see on the surface:
👉 Anxiety
👉 EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance)
👉 Withdrawal
👉 Low mood
👉 Sleep difficulties

But underneath, there can be so much more…

Together, we build a picture over time, so their voice is heard and understood.

These visuals become incredibly important.
They help:
✔ Give evidence in meetings
✔ Show the bigger picture
✔ Support children who may be masking in school

This isn’t about quick fixes, it’s about understanding, trust, and giving young people the space to feel seen.

💛 Every child deserves to be understood, not just managed



*An AI image was used to create this post.

09/04/2026

Love Sir Stephen Fry, he makes a lot of sense on lots of subjects, on this occasion he is speaking out on living with bipolar. It’s a great message “the storm will pass….you just have to hang in there”

08/04/2026

Last week I won at tribunal 🙌

However this time, it was over a parking ticket issued by Manchester City Council because payment was not made within 10 minutes of arrival at a car park. What they didn’t take into account at all was someone supporting a child with autism, the challenges of transiting to a new environment, navigating an unfamiliar car park, and even trying to find a payment machine that was in an area that stunk strongly of urine 🤢 and lots of other factors !

It isn’t always straightforward and rigid rules don’t reflect the reality many people face.

I fought this all the way, I am very principled 💪🏻……and I am pleased to say the decision was overturned……dopamine hit was secured.

A reminder that it’s always worth challenging something when you know it’s not right.

07/04/2026

A controversial post, but unfortunately many families come to me experiencing the same responses. I have also experienced this myself, and it’s frustrating, tiring, and emotionally draining, especially when you reach out to schools and professionals and the concern is deflected.

Instead of the focus remaining on the child’s needs, the attention can subtly shift onto the parent. Parents can find themselves being viewed as the one struggling, the one needing support, the one who isn’t coping. Comments like “have you been on a parenting course?”, “would you like some support at home?” or “we don’t see any problems here” begin to build a narrative one where the parent is somehow seen as the issue.

Meanwhile, parents are left feeling unheard, especially when they’re being told their child is “fine” in school, and support like EHCP applications or CAMHS referrals aren’t being considered.

Parents often come to me exhausted, asking “what do we do now?”

I then start to see a shift happening, it’s a parent being shaped by the journey they are on SEND parents aren’t “weak” they are some of the most resilient people you will ever meet.

They become everything their child needs them to be: Advocate, researcher, spokesperson, PA, counsellor, campaigner!

There is nothing quite like a SEND parent, no professional holds the same depth of knowledge, lived experience, and determination when it comes to that child and yet, it’s incredibly difficult to watch the shift that happens over time and the repeated trust diminish in that parent/carer,

At the beginning, many parents are open, trusting and hopeful and perhaps a little naive as to how difficult it is to get support. They ask politely, follow guidance, and try to work collaboratively.
But when they are met with dismissal, delays, or blame, it hurts. You see the confusion, the frustration, the feeling of not being heard.

And then, over time, something changes.
Not because they want it to, but because they have to, they grow a thicker skin. They become less reactive to the comments, the assumptions, the accusations. What might be seen as “defensive” is often resilience. It’s survival.

It’s a parent learning that if they don’t keep pushing, no one else will for their child.

You can often tell where a parent is on that journey by how they show up in meetings, whether they’re still hoping to be heard, or whether they’ve learned they’ll have to fight to be.

This is why early listening matters.This is why believing parents matters.
Because by the time a parent is labelled “difficult,” they’ve usually already tried everything else.

It is however important to outline, this isn’t about every school or every professional. There are many settings who truly listen, who work in partnership with families, and who go above and beyond despite the pressures they’re under. Schools are often stretched, under resourced, and doing their best in very challenging circumstances.

05/04/2026

SEND Rights Alliance - Rachel Filmer has made another important post about the proposed White Paper, we are all worried about the proposals of this new structure for SEND that is going to replace the one we already have that is clearly failing and how this will be implemented, as we all suspected, it seems to be a lot of smoke and mirrors!

03/04/2026

Happy Easter everyone!!

While some parents look forward to the return to school, for many SEND families it can bring more challenges, not less.

The holidays often give a much needed pause, a chance to breathe and just get through the days without that added pressure.

I know this isn’t always the time families reach out, as they are enjoying the pause, but I want you to know I’m here when you need support.

My diary is open over Easter for free discovery calls. I also have my ongoing wellbeing check ins for families I am supporting already. Please feel free to book in when you feel ready.

https://calendly.com/tinacockramsfs/new-meeting

31/03/2026

Sharing this powerful post from SEND Clarity👇

“Mum’s anxious.”

This one really resonates, because so often, this isn’t said with understanding… it’s said to deflect.

As parents, we’re not “anxious” for no reason.

We are responding to what is actually happening.

We see the patterns, the triggers, the unmet needs because we live it every single day.

When schools label it as “mum’s anxious,” it can shift the focus away from what really needs attention. It stops the conversation, rather than opening it.

What looks like anxiety is often advocacy.

What looks like worry is actually awareness.

💬 Who else has experienced this?

Maybe instead of dismissing the parent, we should be asking
👉 What is being missed here, and how can we work together to support this child properly?

“Mum’s anxious.”
It’s the quickest way to shift attention away from a child’s unmet needs and onto the parent instead.
It’s not an observation.
It’s not support.
It’s a tactic 👉 one that turns your emotional labour into a distraction so the system doesn’t have to look at itself.

If you’ve heard this phrase, you’re not the problem.
You’re the witness.

-

27/03/2026

There’s a lot of conversation right now around new guidance on children’s screen time. While I understand the intention behind it, I think it’s really important we widen the lens especially when it comes to neurodivergent children.

We’ve all seen it… a child sitting in a restaurant with headphones on(perhaps that’s our child) focused on an iPad. It’s often met with judgement, but what we don’t always see is what’s going on underneath or what that child and their family may already have navigated that day.

For some children, particularly those who are neurodivergent, environments like restaurants can be overwhelming smells, noise, lights, conversations, movement. A device isn’t always a “bad habit” or poor parenting….. sometimes it’s the very thing that allows them to be there at all. It can be a tool for regulation, a way to manage sensory overload, and a crutch to inclusion rather than exclusion.

I also work with families who children are not leaving the house and feel concerned that their child is spending a lot of time in their bedroom on devices and ask should they withdraw that device. Yes, balance is important we should absolutely be encouraging outdoor time, connection and variety, we also need to recognise the bigger picture for that young person.

For some, online spaces are where they feel safest. It’s where they maintain friendships, communicate in ways that feel manageable, and take a break from the demands of the outside world. Right now, that might be all they can cope with…and that’s okay.

There’s a lot of comments today in the media around what “good parenting” should look like. Every child is different. Some children sleep through the night others don’t. Some can play independently others need constant support and interaction. For children with additional needs, the level of input required can be relentless for the parent, a parent who is on their knees every single day.

So before we judge a parent in a restaurant, perhaps pause and consider what their day might have looked like so far. They may be running on very little sleep. They may already have navigated multiple challenges just to get out of the house.

Devices can also be incredibly helpful for children who experience intrusive thought patterns. They can provide distraction, comfort, and a sense of control when things feel overwhelming.

Of course, screen time shouldn’t be unlimited, and guidance around sleep, physical activity and development matters. Blanket judgements don’t support families they add pressure and guilt and sometimes, that judgement can be the difference between a family attending an event… or staying home.

We didn’t grow up with this level of technology, that’s true. But we also didn’t have many of the tools that now help children navigate a world that can feel incredibly intense for them.

Sometimes, we need to look beyond the screen and see the child.

23/03/2026

Discovery Call availability!

I have a few slots available for Thursday this week

What is a discovery call? If you are feeling unsure, not sure where to turn, overwhelmed by everything going on, or just needing someone to talk to who understands.

My approach is grounded in empathic listening, understanding, and many years of experience within SEND, shaped by both professional work and lived experience.

I know how vital it is to have a safe space where you can speak honestly, feel heard, and explore challenges without pressure or judgment.

I’m here not just for the child, but for you and your family as a whole. Together, we can slow things down, make sense of what’s going on, and gently explore what might help.

My discovery calls are low demand, no pressure, and no obligation for further support, I offer the time to gently unpick what’s happening and what feels hard right now.

This isn’t a pushy sales call. It’s a mutual conversation where we both decide:

• whether you’d like to work with me going forward
• and whether I’m genuinely the right person to support you

If I feel another service would better meet your needs, I will always signpost you there. Honesty and integrity come first.

If it does feel like a good fit, we can explore ongoing support and you can go away and have a think if you feel this would be beneficial, this could including weekly check-ins, shaped around what works for you and your family, no fixed packages, no arbitrary session limits.

✨ Discovery calls are now available. Please find enclosed a link to my calendar to book in at a time convenient for you.

A discovery call is a relaxed, no-obligation conversation where we’ll talk about what’s happening for you right now, any challenges or difficulties you may be facing, and what kind of help or guidance you’re looking for. Together, we’ll explore whether I’m the right person to support you m...

21/03/2026

I had such a fantastic day yesterday at the Festival of Enterprise. it was great to network and meet up with some families faces since setting up my page.

Since getting started, the response has been amazing. I’m still finding my feet, but overall it’s been such a positive beginning. I’ve worked with a real mix of families, but they all share the same goal, to get the right support in place for their young person. It’s such an emotive service to provide, and I genuinely feel for each family, I have been there myself.

This week also included a lovely coffee shop meet up with a parent, as well as supporting a family remotely down south, which has been with me since the week I started and we have not missed one session, as they family really has benefitted from the support. We’ve been breaking things down into manageable steps together, which has been really rewarding and it’s not starting to create a bigger picture, we have come a long way into getting the right support since January.

I can’t emphasise enough that what I offer goes far beyond structure and practical support. Families need someone who can support them emotionally and provide a sense of grounding, safety and complete understanding. That’s exactly why I chose to study person centred counselling, it sits at the core of meaningful support, especially when working with families who are running on empty.

Just like our children, we all need to feel emotionally safe and heard before any real progress can begin.

16/03/2026

I’m really pleased to share this post about my journey and how Tina Cockram, SEND Family Support came about.

A genuine thank you to Gaddum and the Employcare programme for the support and guidance while I was figuring out what the next step looked like for me. The encouragement and practical help from the programme made a real difference in helping me turn my experience into a service that supports other SEND families.

If you’d like to read a bit more about how it all started, you can find the article here:
www.carersmanchester.org.uk/employcare-tina/

Thanks again to everyone involved.

Tina is a full-time parent/carer, with decades of experience in the legal and third sectors. She joined our Employcare programme in November 2025, and with a bit of support from an employment coach, set up her own SEND Family Support service!

Read Tina's story at www.carersmanchester.org.uk/employcare-tina/ and check out her page Tina Cockram, SEND Family Support!