Bec's Bespoke Poetry

Bec's Bespoke Poetry Bespoke poetry service

06/11/2019

***CHRISTMAS IS COMING***
Would you like to give someone the gift of a bespoke poem? With as much information as you wish to provide about the recipient, I can soon turn it into a personalised poetic piece which can be treasured forever! Witty or serious, I can make it into whatever you like, to bring smiles all round! Please send me a message via my page, send me an email or give me a call! Details above😁

06/11/2019

WARNING...as witty as this poem is intended to be, there are a few choice words used😊

When your neighbour is a kn****ad
And there's nothing you can do,
When you wish a bus would run over him,
Then in reverse, too,
You really want to throttle him,
But it's you who'll get caught out,
So you curse him til the air is blue,
Because he's a kn****ad, there's no doubt.
He does all he can to rile you,
There's nowt so sure as that.
But, take some consolation
In that you're not married to the t**t!

28/10/2019

I went round with the hoover. Now I'm ready for a nap.
Before anyone mentions that I'm 'pregnant, and that's crap',
I'm small and disproportionate, so please cut me some slack.
There ain't much of that going now
I'm like a tater sack!
Things are getting challenging - I'm quickly out of puff.
I'm not making excuses - the simple things are tough!
I'm slowing down substantially, cos I'm growing week by week.
I feel heavy and hormonal,
With diminishing physique!
Respect to all those pregnant ones
Still going to the gym.
I quite fancy the pool,
But I'd sink, instead of swim!
Each day, I fight temptation to drink my Fairy Liquid up.
It smells amazing - apple, it is,
And I could drink it from a cup.
Better not - for all I know, it might send me some troubles -
Like a bout of sickness - or I might start chatting bubbles!
Here I go again, with my endless rhyme and verse.
I bring to you this final line, full of hope that you won't curse!

19/08/2019

When 'all and sundry'
Makes you sick,
When 'Baby Brain' makes you
Look a bit thick,
When things start growing
And you start to expand,
When your emotions and waistline
Get a bit out of hand,
Remind yourself
You're not doing bad,
And don't take it out
On the poor baby's dad.
Just 'go with the flow',
Or whatever that means.
Even if you can't
Stand the sight of baked beans.
Though, for me, at the moment
It seems to be egg,
So please keep away
With the darn things, I beg!
No more omelette,
And DEFFO not fried,
And nothing at all
Where it's runny inside.
My hubby, he loves to make fun.
It's not nice.
If it were him,
He would surely think twice.
This here ode to pregnancy
Is because I can't sleep.
I'm sharing experiences,
And memories I'll keep.
One day, I'll look back
When my baby is here,
Saying 'I'd do that again!
Are you up for it, dear?'
We said we'll have one.
See how that turns out.
If it's brainy like me,
Or keeps messing about.
We'll read, play and learn.
We'll laugh and we'll 'coo'.
We'll have a bit of sense
And make daddy deal with poo.
When I'm up for the night feeds
With this 'thing' on my breast,
I swear I won't moan.
These years will be the best!

04/08/2019

A shooting in Ohio,
Meaning more people are dead.
Food shortages worldwide,
Meaning children won't get fed.

Next time you have McDonalds,
Takeaway, 'All You Can Eat',
Spare a thought for the homeless,
Often bypassed on the street.

With hate and animosity,
With politics at the fore,
Spread more love and forgiveness,
And open up your door.

We live our lives so fast these days.
Difference would be strange.
But don't take anything for granted,
As, one day, your life could change.

27/06/2019

Of all the things I wish I'd never done,
It's lived too fast and forgotten to have fun.
It's a big old world now that I'm fully grown,
And one day I'll have children of my own.

Had I not been stubborn,
Had I listened to advice,
I'd know how to 'adult'
Because winging it's not nice.

Our lives tick by,
We cant turn back the clock.
If we're unprepared,
We'll have a nasty shock.

02/06/2019

I thought I'd get up early,
So I gave myself a shake.
I've got back into baking,
So I thought I'd bake a cake!

Today's is banana and pecan.
It's cooling as we speak.
It went in the oven for an hour,
But it seemed like it took all week!

I'm sure it will catch up with me,
And later, I'll be tired
But bakers get up at silly o' clock,
And I think that's to be admired!

I've made banana and pecan loaf,
And I hope it tastes alright.
I've made it for a friend of mine.
I hope she enjoys each bite.

I quite like baking, when the mood strikes,
Though, pastry, I still need to master.
I tidy up as I go along,
So the kitchen looks less like a disaster!

29/05/2019

'Should pineapple go on pizza?'
Is the hot topic, of late.
Many people dislike it,
But I think it's alrate!

Aren't we missing the point here?
More important questions to ask.
But many think ignorance is bliss,
And 'thinking' seems too big a task!

Our poor old Prime Minister
Has resigned due to stress.
Now what are we going to do?
Our country is a mess.

So - instead of trivial trivia,
Lets ask each other this:
'Have you done your best today?,
Or did you have a near miss?'

It's not so bad to have some fun,
But don't become so blind
To issues of the modern world,
Which should be at the front of your mind!

28/05/2019

I love a Snapchat filter.
It can hide a multitude of sins.
On the other hand, however,
You can look like you've got four chins.

Funny, squeaky voices,
Glitter and funny wigs,
But no matter how much lippy you use,
A pig is still a pig.

Last time I used Snapchat,
Well, my phone nearly broke
Because I dropped the chuffer, in shock
At how good I looked as a bloke!

20/05/2019

So everyone's disappointed
With 'GOT'.
I've never even seen it.
Are you disappointed in me?

These programmes exist
To evoke thrill and suspense,
Yet I'm more thrilled
When I find fifty pence.

Don't dwell for too long,
As the feeling will pass
When the next series starts
And you all think it's 'class'.

Let me tell you, it's better
To sit writing verse,
Or watch paint drying slowly.
Netflix is a curse!

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