Willsway Counselling Services

19/10/2025

Oxytocin✨

Sunday snuggles with the bear Cub - I mean look at this face how can you resist. I dare say I’m a little more enthusiastic than him 💁🏼‍♀️

Let’s talk feel good hormones and todays pick us Oxytocin. This is our connection chemical boasted by mental, emotional, physical connection. Things like hugs, cuddles, hand holding, stroking a pet, kissing, intimacy, coffee with friends, simultaneous laughing all help the flow of oxytocin.

In our busy lives and mundane routine we often run off autopilot racing from one task to another desperately trying to complete the never ending to do list. Increasing our stress hormones if adrenaline and cortisol and decreasing the feel good hormones if dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin & endorphins. This rate race if life often also disconnects us from our selves and in turn from those around us. As humans we are tribal creatures we are wired to operate in pacts. We thrive in contributing to a group and in receiving from the group. We like participation, involvement, connection both emotionally, mentally, physically and socially.

Take a moment to pause today to firstly connect to self. Ask yourself;
💫What am I thinking?
💫How am I feeling?
💫What is my body doing?
💫How am I behaving?
💫Who, what, where, how can I get my needs met today?

Then think about your connection with others and how you can cultivate that in a way that boosts your rather than depletes you. Ask yourself;
💫Do I need to?
💫Do I want to?
💫Do I have time to?
💫Do I have capacity to? Ie mental/emotional/physical energy to …

Cultivate a tribe around you who shine in your success and light up a pathway for when you are feeling down. Make room externally for those connection that are real, authentic, meaningful, fun. Then consider the tribe you hold within that connection to self - how you speak to yourself matter and how you feel and what need are important.

Of course oxytocin is responsible for so much more than mentioned above - but maybe have a little ponder today as to who, what, why, when, how you form build, nurture and grow your connections.

Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

13/10/2025

Grief✨

I’ve been speaking to a lot of my clients recently about grief, loss, bereavement it got me thinking and reflecting on how universal & collective grief is whilst at the same time being completely unique & personal. Like most things in my mind another juxtaposition and contradiction to hold adjacently with one another.

You may be aware I joined the grief gang Christmas day 2023 when I lost the true love of my life, my dazzling Grandad. Prior to this my views on loss were very black & white, quite blunt and avoidant very closed off. I didn’t want to know about heaven, I didn’t believe in signs, I didn’t want to hear about how they visit you in your dreams. Post loss my views have drastically changed!

Not in a concrete or solid way but more in a cautiously curious way. I’m interested in grief, I’m inquisitive about loss, I’m willing to embrace and question bereavement in a way I never have before. Prior to losing my Grandad I thought if that were to ever happen to me I’d stop living, I wouldn’t cope, I’d be rendered hopeless/helpless but the truth is I’m still here, I cope and I function because what other choice is there but also because I chose to regardless.

My previous belief was that by stopping life and being distraught I’d demonstrate my love - now I believe by being the things I loved most about my loved one who is gone this is how I honour him, connect to him, keep him alive, this is how I show my LOVE.

My Grandad was wonderful, kind, thoughtful, bright, dazzling, wise, intelligent, witty, funny, incredibly giving and empathic, he was supportive and positive, he had fun and found joy in life. Now I’m nowhere near his level but his amazing legacy motivates me on to find joy, to live, laugh, grow, thrive. Sure I cry, I pause at times I crumble but I chose to carry on for me and for him!

Grief is individual and unique there is no right or wrong way to grieve but if finding that feather, seeing that robin, having those dreams, talking to heaven or the big beautiful beyond comforts you DO IT! Be open, be willing, I get it I know it I live it!

Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

20/09/2025

Embrace✨

I found this quote after my personal therapy session last week with my amazing therapist and it was one of those moments where you just happen to stumble across the right thing at the right time, you know one of those rare perfect moments where things just align and relate!

Firstly YES I am a therapist and I also attend therapy - I do this for many reasons but first and foremost is because I am human and I have experienced the traumas of ‘life’ and as an accountable autonomous adult I want to work on and through these issues, I want to be able to live a wholehearted fully functional life, I NEED a safe, confidential, non-judgemental, supportive, caring, collaborative space to offload. In fact it was my own personal trauma, emotional abuse and burnout that led to me choosing to train to be a therapist in the first place. I believe this makes me better in my job, I believe this lives experience has informed and shaped me - challenging YEH - but worth it - for sure!

As many of you know I am in a production of 42nd Street on at Middlesbrough Little Theatre 28th Oct - 1st November so we are currently deep in rehearsals! What you may or may not know is that prior to my own breakdown and burn out I was a performer and have been since the age of 3yrs old. A passion that was lost for 12yrs but that I’m now slowly beginning to reignite.

42nd Street is my FAV all time Musical, Peggy Sawyer is my dream role and like most things I thought this was a daydream in my mind/heart and never believe it could actually be a reality. So when I saw Teesside Musical Theatre Company were auditioning for it my interest was peaked. This was a new feeling for me and one I vaguely recognized but that had been absent for so long. Now there are and we’re sooo many reasons why I shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t audition for this show ~ turns out these were the limiting beliefs in my mind holding me back. The thing with limiting beliefs is that they aim to protect us by keeping us safe and small but ultimately they prevent us from growth. So I went against them and move towards the show and somehow I got the role!

I’m sharing this with you as, as your therapist I to have to do the work, I to have to practice what I preach, I to have doubts, insecurities, low self-esteem, conditioning, limiting beliefs but like you I work in them as I recognise I have a choice, I get to choose what I believe.

💫‘Don’t miss out on something wonderful just because it could also be hard’

This is a BIG challenge for me, it brings about all sorts of triggers, it is hard but it’s also wonderful to be part of again a phrase my outstanding therapists drums into me often. I get it, I know it, I live it life is hard but in the other side of fear is freedom. Something wonderful awaits when we embrace opportunities, dig deep, take it moment by moment and keep going!

Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

15/09/2025

Walking✨

Hey darlings how are we all this Monday morning.

I wanted to talk about walking and the benefits of it. You so often hear people say ‘I’m going for a walk to clear my head’ without any real awareness of what this means. So let me shed a little therapeutic light.

Walking promotes bilateral stimulation or rhythmic movement this is where both the right and left side of the brain are operating together. This helps to balance, connect and promote the emotional right brain with the logical left brain - hence the clearing of the mind.

Our left brain is typically associated with logic, language, time, science whilst the right side is commonly linked to emotion, creativity, art, intuition and imagination. Obviously both sides coexist and work together adjacently so at times we get some overlap where they cooperate together in most of the activities and behaviours we have equally we have times when they contradict and conflict one another.

The benefit of walking and inducing bilateral stimulation is that it allows the brain to process and embed information in a uniquely powerful way.

Let’s use a metaphor - so think of your day as a desk when things happen they pile up on the desk, bilateral stimulation helps to store away these experiences in the right ‘filing cabinet’ ie the appropriate side of the brain. When we experience, challenging, difficult, adverse or traumatic things our thoughts become stuck and store up on our metaphorical desk over time this begins to show up with mental and physical symptoms that often impact or debilitate us. So bilateral stimulation helps to process events both by what happened and how we feel about what happened connecting and processing the two.

Another benefit of walking and hitting our steps target is boosting our daily dose, add a dog in the mix and you also get a hit of;

💫 Dopamine - reward & recognition
💫 Oxytocin - connection chemical
💫 Serotonin - motivation & achievement
💫 Endorphins - physical activity

We will explore the DAILY DOSE more next time so check back in then.

For now;
Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

13/09/2025

Treats✨

Whether you have survived or thrived you’ve made it to the weekend YEY🙌🏼

So I was wondering what are some of the little treats you afford yourself on a weekend? What are some self-care routines you plan in just for you? Do you find it hard to treat yourself? Is self-care way off your radar?

I always try to make the most of weekends - I mean really every day should start with a coffee and a croissant right 💁🏼‍♀️

I like to get out and about on a weekend with Oakley Bear 🐶 more often than not we try to go for a longer walk and a bigger adventure come rain or shine I just love getting outdoors the open space makes me feel free, nature makes me feel fresh and the wonderful sounds of outside make my heart dance. I also love that this then becomes the perfect excuse to curl up on a afternoon snuggling with the boy and watching a musical (obvs🎭) to zone out, chill, rest and recoup.

Other times we meet up with friends for a walk or coffee as social connection is equally as important on my self-care list. Don’t get me wrong I like my own company I think it’s an only child thing or maybe a therapist thing as my job is very social and conversational sometimes I just need the quiet peaceful headspace alone time can bring.

Self-Care is fast becoming a buzz word and rightly so, but should this be classed as a treat? Or is this a necessity? Is doing something for yourself a luxury or is it a mandatory part of everyday functioning to promote our overall wellbeing, mind, body, heart, soul?

I guess the answer to the above is totally up to you? For me my mindset is shifting from viewing self-care as a treat to now allowing it and building it in to be an essential part of my routine, a firm foundation. The top 5 for me are;

💫 Healthy nutrition / diet
💫 Plenty of movement / exercise
💫 Regular sleep routine
💫 Good social connections
💫 Strong emotional regulation / coping tools

I believe the above is essential to promoting and sustaining autonomous wholehearted living, not a treat but a necessity!

What’s your top 5? Share below I’d love the know …

Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

12/09/2025

Grounding✨

Grounding ourselves is so important, really connecting to our root, keeping hold of our core & regulating ourselves is an overlooked but essential part of healing/recovery/growth/functioning.

I’ve spent a lot time dysregulated fleeting between hyper/hypo arousal states, trauma responses aimed to keep us safe. In hyper-arousal cortisol/adrenaline flood the nervous system as fight/flight system is activated often causing anxiety/panic-attacks/flashbacks. On the opposite end of the spectrum is hypo-arousal freeze/fawn/flop responses kick in causing dissociation/numbness/memory-loss. In both it’s NOT something you choose, it’s something that just happens as a result of trauma/triggers/nervous system dysregulation.

So what’s the middle ground? Finding a way to stay within our window of tolerance - this is green zone functioning where we’re able to think/feel/behave rationally/logically. We still experience ALL our emotions/thoughts/feelings/impulses but we’re in a regulated state where we’re able to process them safely & cope without letting them completely consume us. Grounding is a great starting point to get back in your ‘window’.

When we’re present/rooted in the ‘here/now’ we’re better able to process/embed/integrate the ‘there/then’. Staying regulated takes time/patience/practice/work. As I mentioned above these trauma states we enter are NOT a choice they are our bodies inbuilt survival instinct kicking in aimed to keep us safe.

In the fraught world we live in these ‘trauma states’ are not a functional headspace to be in, previously protective they become preventative they don’t promote a functional adult life, so we’ve got to train our nervous system to find other ways to cope.

The number 1 tool we always have at our disposal is our senses - see/hear/smell/touch/taste. Stop-pause-notice your surroundings, get curious with your thoughts, compassionate with your feelings, connect within, regulate your breathing, trust yourself, slowdown take action in the present!

Ground yourself here/now moment to moment, connected and rooted within/out.

Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

11/09/2025

Autumn✨

I see you & girl I feel your crisp chill. There is something so pretty about autumn, the color tones, layering, cosy textured materials, that all round woodland vibe with a hint of cinnamon. It makes me feel warm from the inside out. A season to cocoon ourself in care/warmth/nourishment to sooth our body-mind-heart-soul.

This autumn feels a little different for me as I navigate new terrain, finding my path through the old fallen leaves into the golden, hopeful new. It’s a bit of a complex time, one where I certainly feel that shedding vulnerability, much like the trees, in the in-between stage of discovery.

Seeing things anew brings about both gratitude & grief, it both frees us & traps us in equal amounts. The thing that makes the difference is you (me). We have to be accountable for our own story & our choices. Through manageable, actionable change we begin to make our intentions reality. Change IS scary, the risks of changing seem high right?! But also consider the risks/limits of staying the same?!

If the trees weren’t brave enough to embrace their authenticity & grow/change through the season we would never see the joys of Spring, the bloom of Summer & the gorgeous richness of Autumn. We can also do the same.

It’s okay for you to grow through what you go through it’s ok to embrace the seasons & in doing so yourself. We ALL need different things at different times & you know what that’s okay to, in fact it’s 100% essential & completely acceptable.

Autumn is notorious as being a transitional season & I’m feeling that too&fro, confusing/messy/complicated tug right now, the inbetween stages of change. Unlike in nature where autumn is stunning, as humans this ‘limbo’ isn’t our prettiest stage, but it IS valid!

Feel the abundance that autumn brings the ripening of new ideas with the decay of those that no longer serve us. This period of transition is hard, I get it, I know it, I live it! These challenges you face are lessons NOT limits - drive on, don’t turn back now! Old habits feel abnormally normal but change brings limitless wonder!

Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

03/09/2025

Mindful Moments✨

Hey Darlings how are we all?!

So as you know I’m a therapist and to my work alongside my professional expertise & qualification I always strive to bring personal experience and a ‘human’ element to the humanistic approach of person-centered counselling.

So here I am keeping it real in a moment outside of the therapy room. Embracing the sun as we shift into autumn, not shaming myself for wearing lycra (I mean who needs a thigh gap right 💁🏼‍♀️) and getting out and about walking in nature. Sure Oakley is a HUGE motivator behind my walking however the benefits are as much for me as they are for him.

Therapists have to do the ‘work’ to outside of work to maintain regulation. The work we do on ourselves is the most valuable and often hardest work we will ever do, Gal that stuff is WERK!! But finding the balance, embracing the mindful moments, creating enough time for your personal and professional self matters.

I’ve been there working all hours of the day and night, weekends giving giving giving and where did it get me - huh? I’ll tell you a one way ticket to burnout! But with time, effort, work we can return, better, brighter, balanced.

So this is just a little reminder to let you know I get it, I know it, I live it, life is hard and I’m human to and though I don’t always I do strive to practice what I preach, I’m also learning to be compassionate and understanding to myself on the days that don’t quite go to plan, the days when the scales tip a bit. Remember that’s momentary and we CAN and WILL regain balance again ~ just keep your eye out for those mindful moments!

Why not share in the comments below, I’d LOVE to hear?!

Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

02/09/2025

Time✨

Stumbled upon this, this morning and I don’t know about you, but I was like WOW that is soooooo relatable!

I don’t know if it’s an age thing, a post covid thing or if the earth has just changed gear and is orbiting in double speed but time seems faster. I can’t decide if this is freeing or frightening. (I don’t suppose it needs to be either) One thing I do know about time is that it never stands still, it is constantly changing, moving, evolving just like us. Time is precious, something not to be taken for granted or missed but to be embraced and enjoyed.

How often do we lose time ruminating on regrets from the past or panicking about anxieties of the future, well news flash neither of these can be changed. No amount of thought will rewind you back or fast forward you ahead. So where does that leave us - right here, right now, in this moment we call the present.

I know unfamiliar right, how often do you really stop and ground yourself in the here and now? Honestly ask yourself the question? For me this is a work in progress and something I comitt myself to daily. I’ve spent previous eras of my life racing ahead on autopilot, rushing life, cramming in the to-do-list burning myself out. Does this cause some regret sure, if I choose to frame it that way, but these days I choose (and work towards) acceptance of what was and take away the lessons. Believe me this isn’t easy and it certainly doesn’t come naturally to me, but this is something therapy can allow you.

To dip back in the past but not dwell there, take from it what you need and come back to yourself, this version of you now. It’s nice to look back on fond memories, it’s good to have plans and goals to look ahead to that drive you forward. But make sure you leave time for the here and now. As this is where life happens, this is where growth grows from. This is the secret to slowing time down a bit shusssssss!!

So now that your in on it, what little moments of mindfulness can you find daily that bring you back to yourself, that ground you in the present, that allow for pause?

💫Remember;

Continue on continuing, I got you, you got me, we got this ~ stronger together always! 🫶🏼

01/09/2025

My new fav for all things skin care by the amazing Change Skincare ✨

01/09/2025

Ladies check this out ~ the wonderful Liz and her amazing new offering Fitpod ✨

September kicks off Perimenopause Awareness Month 💗

Perimenopause is the natural transition leading up to menopause and for many women it can begin as early as their late 30s or early 40s. One minute you’re sleeping fine and feeling strong, the next you’re dealing with brain fog, hot flushes and low energy.

The truth is, this phase can feel overwhelming. With the right training, nutrition and support you can move through perimenopause feeling more in control, stronger and empowered.

That’s why I created my ‘FitMenopause Programme’ designed to women feel amazing through movement, nourishment and mindset.

💫Stay tuned every day this month for tips, tools and myth busting around perimenopause. Let’s make this chapter one where you thrive, not just survive.

01/09/2025

My absolute FAV for all things self-care ✨

🌿 Hello Autumn.🧡