18/11/2025
“Forgiving is hard, carrying the burden is much harder.”
Many clients are beautifully honest about how hard they’re finding it to forgive another.
Whether it’s a partner, friend, family member or colleague… or perhaps someone they no longer have in their life, forgiveness can feel mighty uncomfortable.
Those feelings of “unfairness”, the injustice of it all, the uneasy feeling that we’re somehow “letting them off the hook”, or saying what they did (or didn’t do) doesn’t matter, didn’t hurt us, is all forgotten.
If you get caught up on this “injustice” part, you could well be missing a trick. Because this is the one element you can’t control; you can’t undo what’s been done, or right the wrong, or make it “fair”.
There are however, 2 other angles you could focus on to help free yourself of the negative feelings that are often the hangover from being hurt, fooled or disrespected.
1) choosing peace over pain; reducing the time and energy you give to thinking about and feeling angry or hurt about the events.
2) setting clear boundaries around how you reconcile or engage with the person/ people involved.
Now, that is freedom. Focussing on what you CAN change or influence, and letting go of what you CAN’T.
The next question is normally “How?”
The answer…. One little thought at a time.
Notice it, acknowledge it, replace it with something more helpful.
It’s not magic. It takes awareness and choice…. But you’re worth it.
Amanda Rowe Hypno
