Daisy Vision Counselling

07/05/2026

Just a reminder that we meet again on Tuesday 12th May.😄

06/05/2026

Our conversations about dying are really conversations about finding a way to come to terms with an anticipated loss, or the pain of accepting what has already happened, and learning how to continue living without our loved one.

Coping with anticipatory grief can be an incredibly lonely place to be. We’re often expected to discuss our loved one’s care, make difficult decisions, and advocate for their physical needs — all while carrying the immense emotional strain of watching someone decline. The impact on our own physical and mental wellbeing is rarely acknowledged.

Having been there personally several times now, I understand just how overwhelming this can be. As a grief counsellor and coach, I also see how often people feel they must “fight through” the decline of a loved one while feeling abandoned, bewildered, and desperate for someone to show compassion to them too. Someone to off load to. Someone who sees the toll it takes.

It’s common to feel torn — wanting a way out of the situation, yet dreading the reality of what lies ahead. Many people bottle these feelings up and slip into survival mode, but it is so much healthier when we can talk about it and receive support.

To this end, we’ll be exploring anticipatory grief this week at our grief support group, Daisy, Daisy Grief Café here in Matlock. Even if we are now trying to cope with life after our loss, many of us still struggle with the emotions connected to that time before our loved one died — guilt, anger, blame, regret. These feelings are more common than people realise, and they deserve space, understanding, and gentleness.

I encourage you — whether you’re in that painful place of caring for a loved one as they decline, or whether you’re still feeling the impact of what you went through, no matter how long ago — to find someone you can talk to. You might find support by joining us at Daisy, Daisy Grief Café. Sharing our experiences with others who truly understand, because they're experiencing it too, can make such a difference.

I’ve had so many people tell me how much the grief café helped them, even when they weren’t sure it would. Sometimes simply being alongside others who “get it” is the first step toward feeling less alone.

If you would like to find out more:
phone me on 07726 465229 or email: Yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk

www.daisyvision.co.uk

05/05/2026

As Dying Matters Week (4th -10th May) draws our attention to the importance of talking and sharing our journey with others, I feel it may help to revisit something many people have heard of, but few fully understand: Elisabeth Kübler Ross’s “stages of grief” found in her book "On Death and Dying".

She developed them while working with people who were dying of terminal illness — and with the loved ones witnessing that decline.

Her work was based on anticipatory grief, not in grief after loss, as she observed common emotional responses, of those dying and their loved ones and summed them up as :

Denial - and difficulty in accepting the reality of their loss,
Anger - something that many don't realise is a common reaction to loss especially when overwhelming sadness is bottled up, Bargaining - with others or even God or an authority in one's life, Depression - which may develop in time particularly if grief is not addressed,
Acceptance - not liking the outcome but the inner realisation of the need to find a way to cope with your loss, and your own life which continues.

Kubler-Ross never intended that these expressions of grief should be seen as linear stages, but acknowledged there's no right or wrong way to grieve (according to her co-author in "On Grief and Grieving" David Kessler). Instead these responses can present in waves, in any order, and at any time, before and after the end of life.

So, whatever emotions your experiencing right now, I want to encourage you that it's okay to be in that place, and there's no time scale or set order. But, at the same time it may help to talk to someone about it. You don't have to cope alone.

I hope this helps you,
Yvonne.

tel: 07726 465229
email: yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk

28/04/2026

When grief comes before your loss

Anticipatory grief is something many people experience long before a death occurs, yet it’s rarely spoken about.

Our grief often begins when someone we love starts to decline, and it can remain with us long after they have gone. It’s the accumulation of emotions we feel when a parent who was once strong, supportive, and dependable becomes frail, confused, or unable to be the person they once were for us. Even as adults, that shift can feel deeply unsettling. Roles begin to reverse, and we find ourselves making decisions on behalf of someone who once guided us.

Over the years, in my work as a grief counsellor, I’ve sat with many people who felt guilty for the emotions that surfaced during this time: sadness, frustration, fear, anger, and a sense of loss before the loss. These feelings are far more common than people realise, and they are not a sign of failing or not caring enough. They are a natural response to witnessing someone you love suffer and become weaker.

I understand this both professionally and personally. In my own family, I’ve walked through anticipatory grief more than once — noticing the small losses that gradually become more devastating, and the quiet heartbreak of realising there is only one direction the situation can go.

Whether this period lasts weeks or stretches into years, many people find themselves living in a kind of survival mode. Everything seems to depend on staying strong: supporting others, making rational decisions, and ensuring the best care for a loved one who can no longer manage daily life. In order to keep going, we often suppress our own emotions and struggles, sometimes to the point of affecting our physical health.

It’s also more common than people admit to feel as though you can’t keep going like this forever — even to long for the situation to reach its natural end, despite the pain you know that will bring. This can create a deep sense of guilt, both at the time and long after a loved one has died.

If you’re feeling the weight of anticipatory grief now, please know there is nothing “wrong” with your emotions. You are grieving the loss of how things used to be, the loss of the relationship as it once was, and the loss of the future you hoped for. That grief is valid. It deserves space and gentleness.

You may also recognise that you went through this before your loved one died and are still carrying the emotional impact of that time. However long you’ve been feeling it, please be kind to yourself. The emotions associated with anticipatory grief are natural when we’re doing our best under enormous pressure, often while feeling exhausted.

I hope this is helpful to someone here. If you relate to any of this, I encourage you to talk with someone who will listen and understand — perhaps a trusted friend who has always been there for you. It can feel daunting at first, but finding a safe way to revisit your grief can support healing and improve your overall wellbeing.

Best wishes,
Yvonne.

Tel: 07726 465229
email: yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk
www.daisyvision.co.uk

24/04/2026

Just a reminder that we meet on Tuesday, 28th April at 1:30 pm - 3:00 pm, at All Saints Church Hall, Smedley Street. To find out more call Yvonne on 07726 465229 or email yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk.

Hello everyone,

Just a reminder that we meet next Tuesday 28th April at 1:30 pm - 3:00 pm at All Saints' Church Hall , Smedley Street. It's next to the Church and is set back from the road, with it's own car park in front, on Smedley Street.

We start with a cuppa and a chat and then have a 'circle time' giving opportunity to either join in and share from your experience of loss and grieving, or you're welcome to sit and listen if you don't feel able to participate.

This week our focus is,:

What is your way of coping with grief?

For some it may be music, for some writing, or art, walking and spending time surrounded by nature. It may create an escape or a safe expression of the emotions associate with loss.

The circle time is a very precious time, and what is shared is kept within the group, and within this safe space. I've had so much positive feedback about how it has really helped people to be able to talk about their loved one, with others that understand, that care and are supportive.

If you would like to find out more you can ring me on 07726 465229 or email me yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk.

Best wishes,
Yvonne
(Accredited Counsellor and Grief Coach)

(If you feel it a group setting is not for you but you still would like support, one-to-one, but have no experience of counselling or what to expect, I'd be happy to talk to you about it or you can see my website: www.daisyvision.co.uk to find out more).

17/04/2026

Many people struggle with grief alone. Quite often family members don't want to talk about your loved one, because it's too painful for them, and they're trying to forget their loss and move on.

My sessions give you the chance to talk about your loved one without the worry of being judged or silenced. This can help you get out of a stuck place, as you begin to heal.

My sessions are online, in the comfort of your home, or in person, in Matlock. If you'd like to find out more, you can ring me on 07726 465229 or email yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk.

I now offer a 'free' 20-minute meeting online to anyone considering counselling with me, giving you opportunity to find out what it is like to have counselling and to ask any questions.

www.daisyvision.co.uk

25/03/2026

I've recently been invited to join with Tithe Green Natural Burial, the nearest site to us being in Oxton (Nottinghamshire), as a contributor in their community group on Facebook.

They provide a natural way to celebrate and remember the lives of loved ones. They even have a Memory Mile walk each month and followed by support by a grief therapist, in their beautiful grounds.

So, I took advantage of the amazing weather a week ago to get out onto the moors above Matlock and make a video introducing myself. I thought I'd share it here too (my glasses went a bit dark but such a beautiful day to record it😄).

20/03/2026

Just a reminder that we meet again on Tuesday, 24th March.🙂

19/03/2026

Baby loss is real and so is your grief...

This past Mother's Day I was taken back to my memories of the year when I found I was pregnant for the first time.

It was such an exciting time, and we were already starting to plan for becoming a ‘family’. However, it was not many weeks later that I experienced what was one of the most painful losses I’d known, as I miscarried our baby.

The heartbreak was immense even though it was only early in my pregnancy – we were so disappointed at our dream appearing to have been dashed to pieces.

I was shocked – surely this wasn’t really happening to me, and yet I knew it was real. My husband didn’t know how best to comfort me – it was something that we weren’t at all prepared for and he felt the pain of it too. I felt physically weak and drained as well as totally ‘empty’.

One of the worst things was that we couldn’t talk to anyone else about it – for some odd reason, this was not seen as a ‘death’ and the loss of a life, and yet it was devastating for us.

We only told our immediate family, but they didn't even know we were expecting as it was so early on, and avoided talking about it.

I want to reassure you that baby loss is every bit as real as any other loss – and give you permission to grieve for your baby. It really does help to talk.

If you don’t have anyone to talk to, my counselling sessions provide a safe place to talk about your loss and come to terms with it, and find a way to move forward, and possibly even to dare to try again. It can help to talk to someone who has been through it and understands what it’s like.

I will help you, one-to-one, or as a couple.

Please contact me, Yvonne, to find out more on 07726 465229 or email yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk .

(By the way, I now have three grown children and three grandchildren and one on the way, but I still have a place in my heart for my first baby.)

09/03/2026

There's no right or wrong time to get some support when grieving the loss of a loved one.

If you would like to find out about counselling you can ring me on 07726 465229 or email yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk. I now offer a 'free' 20-minute taster session online, if you would like to find out what counselling is like without any financial commitment.

Yvonne,
Accredited Counsellor and Grief Coach,
Daisy Vision Counselling
www.daisyvision.co.uk

23/02/2026

Just a reminder that we meet again tomorrow - a safe place to share with others who understand, and to share mutual support. It's free to come along although donations towards costs are welcome.

Hello,

Just a reminder that we meet this coming Tuesday 24th February, at 1:30 pm - 3:00 pm.

We'll be discussing how writing can be therapeutic and help with grieving, whether through poetry, song lyrics, journaling or even writing out what you'd love to share at these meetings to be read out if you don't manage to speak.

We have a very understanding and supportive group and our last meeting was really well attended.

Hope to see you soon,
Yvonne.

07726 465229
email: yvonne@daisyvision.co.uk