Lisa Gates

Registered NHS & Private Psychotherapist & Counsellor (UKCP, MBACP & UPCA) Applying Psychology to the Workplace, Cambridge University

FHEQ Level 4.

Specialisms:

Life crises and insecurity of the self, DID and dissociative conditions, historical and developmental trauma, complex grief, death anxiety, social anxiety and general anxiety disorders. Physical health psychology - ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia, Long Covid, Functional Neurological conditions, end of life situations, bereavement and loss.

Other areas: abuse, negative and challenging behaviours, communication, depression, eating disorders, emotions, goals, motivation, self esteem, OCD, phobias, relationships and couples, self harm, shame and self criticism, stress, substance misuse, unhelpful thinking styles. Current Doctoral Research:

Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex dissociation, De-personalisation, De-realisation, Fragmentation of self, Ontological Insecurity, Existential therapeutic approaches, Phenomenology of therapist/client relationship

Research and clinical supervisors:

Dr Susan Iacovou
Dr Simon Cassar

Qualifications:

MA, Existential Psychotherapy & Counselling, Middlesex University

Postgraduate Dip Existential Psychotherapy & Counselling, Middlesex University

Transactional Analysis (Official TA 101), The Berne Institute

Cert. Philosophy of Mind, Oxford University

Postgraduate Cert.Ed. Further and Adult Education, Clarendon College, Nottingham

BA(Hons) Design including Critical Studies, Nottingham Trent University

Accreditations and Memberships Registered MBACP, UPCA, Society for Existential Analysis (SEA), Oxford Philosophical Society

Consultations in person and online

01/11/2025

The sense of “the self” is mediated by perception, emotion, and memory. Healing and growth happen in small, tangible actions as we acknowledge that the self isn’t a fixed container we can fully grasp. We can only work with what we can observe, i.e things like habits, sensations and thoughts; whilst staying compassionate toward the mystery of the self. Self-knowledge is a practice, not a possession.

Healing trauma means taking small steps to trust in the body and mind through manageable tasks; and starting only where you are right now. Acknowledge the non-linearity and interpretive nature of self-perception.

Think of one tiny step you’ll try today, maybe a boundary you will set, or a moment you can simply observe today.

26/10/2025

Awareness is incredible. Not just because we have a sense of who we are but also what we are not. For example, you are not your emotions. You are not anger or fear. Standing back objectively shows you this. We can’t be something that we are observing. We might say ‘I’m angry’ but we don’t need to identify with this as who we are. Awareness gives us a deeper sense of self. Emotions are real and valuable signals, yet they are not the full story of who we are.

The self includes our values, choices, and the awareness that we are the observer of our experience.

Next time you start to identify with an emotion, name it, notice its duration, and connect it to a value or boundary you hold dear. Transform what is a transitory feeling into meaning.

Imagine a vortex to deepen this understanding. If you were standing outside a vortex’s pull, you might witness emotions swirl around the centre of your awareness. You’re positioned at the edge, not in the swirl, so you can watch without being dragged inward.

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03/09/2025

Here’s an excerpt from an interview with Yahoo UK that I did recently about planning for your death, in light of Davina McCall’s terror at having brain surgery:
“Death is something that touches everyone, whether through our own experience or through the loss of someone we love. Lisa Gates, a BACP-registered therapist specialising in bereavement and complex grief, says confronting mortality can be an important and healthy step.
“Most people live life in a way that is in denial of death until they’re faced with it. It’s a human condition that we go around thinking, ‘Oh, that’s in the future. We don’t have to think about it,’” she tells Yahoo UK.
“But my approach is that actually confronting this gives people a deeper sense of self-awareness. If you confront your mortality, you can create more meaning in your life.”
You can read the full article here: https://uk.style.yahoo.com/davina-mccall-plan-death-family-brain-tumour-185842730.html

13/08/2025

“The time will come when,
with elation
you will greet yourself arriving…
in your own mirror
and each will smile at the others welcome.”

This excerpt of a poem by Derek Walcott made me think about self-acceptance as foundation for celebration.

The moment you truly accept yourself and parts of yourself—flaws, strengths, and all—becomes the moment you can celebrate. The mirror in this poem is a symbol of integration. Gazing at yourself and smiling back is a sign of inner alignment and new confidence.

My tips:

Mirror exercise: Spend a few minutes each day looking in the mirror and naming three things you genuinely appreciate about yourself. End with a smile.

Create a small celebration: Mark a milestone with a ritual—candles, a favorite meal, or a gathering with a trusted circle, expressing gratitude.

Inner-to-outer alignment: Align daily actions with your true self in the mirror (eg, your choices, boundaries, routines) so your external life reflects the inner harmony.

Comment below about how you get on! 🪞😀

13/07/2025

I AM ENOUGH

That’s a powerful affirmation isn’t it?

Say it loud and proud.

It suggests:

Self-empowerment: Recognising your inherent worth and mental strength.

Clarity of purpose: Affirming that you have the mental clarity and truth within yourself.

Start to say this as a new beginning to embrace
fresh ideas or perspectives, confident in your sufficiency.

Remember your mental resilience, and trust in your ability to overcome challenges with honesty.

01/07/2025

HOW TO CULTIVATE YOUR INNER EMOTIONAL STRENGTH TO ACHIEVE YOUR POTENTIAL.

Emotional Mastery involves embracing the qualities of deep empathy, patience, and understanding.

Intuitive Growth means trusting your intuition and inner guidance.

Nurturing your own Self-Development is to look after yourself emotionally, practicing self-compassion, and creating a supportive environment for growth.

Combining Balance and Compassion places the emphasis on ambition with empathy, ensuring your pursuit of your potential is compassionate to yourself and others.

Practical tips:

Reflect on your emotional needs and how they influence your goals.

Cultivate self-awareness through meditation or journaling.

Practice empathy in your interactions to build stronger relationships that support your growth.

Trust your intuition when making decisions related to your personal development.

21/05/2025

World Meditation Day is today and is dedicated to promoting meditation for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s a day to pause, reflect, and embrace the benefits of mindfulness, both individually and collectively.

I encourage you to connect with yourself using compassion, self-care, and maybe something greater—like the collective consciousness.

Focus on releasing emotional burdens, and accessing deep states of peace and inspiration.

Allow yourself to feel and process emotions gently.

Journal or reflect on your insights and intuition.

18/05/2025

Let’s consider a broader sense of prosperity today, things such as emotional richness, fulfillment, and gratitude for what you have. Abundance is about appreciating all forms of wealth, including health, joy, and opportunities, not just money.

When was the last time you:

• Celebrated your victories and recognised your worth?
• Embraced an abundant mindset to attract more success and prosperity?
• Shared your achievements with others?
• Felt confident and proud of your progress while staying humble?

I encourage you to acknowledge your accomplishments, maintain gratitude, and open yourself to having even greater abundance in life.

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01/05/2025

May Day is traditionally a time for dancing feasting and celebrating new growth and warmth with flowers and ribbons.
The blossom on my tree is so beautiful. Being within its lolling branches brings out an idealism, romantic fantasies, and a desire for transcendence of the norm to focus purely on aesthetic pursuits for me.
Enjoy your day!

28/04/2025

Many people find themselves in this situation. Work may represent a desire for stability, purpose, and a sense of contribution, but this not only needs to sustain you financially but also should align with your values and passions.
If you find yourself in ‘f**k it’ mode, I invite you to embrace new possibilities with an open heart and a sense of adventure, even if the path feels uncertain.
Here’s a short meditation to try:
Imagine yourself standing at the edge of a new chapter.
Imagine that you are eager to explore opportunities (a new job, a new path) that can bring you stability and purpose.
You know that you are also craving more than just a paycheck—you want your work and life to sparkle with meaning, to foster genuine connections, and to ignite your passion.
Start to be curiosity and playful about this. Imagine yourself exploring different paths—not being afraid to try something unconventional or to start again.
Trust in the journey even if the destination isn’t clear yet. Sometimes, the best opportunities come from taking a leap of faith.
Where do you see yourself? Which roles or projects might align with your core values and allow you to connect deeply with others?
Stay open to learning about which experience, whether successful or challenging, adds to your wisdom.
See yourself on a quest is to combine this openness with intentionality—seeking work that not only sustains you but also enriches your soul and connects you authentically with others.
Image credit and inspiration:

13/04/2025

Walking through a forest enhances my connection to the earth and helps to ground me. The serene environment of a forest can aid in processing intense emotions providing a space for reflection and healing.
Tip for today:
Walk into a wood and forest and meditate on your relationships and what balance means to you. Pay attention to the natural world and how it mirrors your inner state. Consider what no longer serves you to welcome new beginnings in your personal life.
Afterwards consider journaling about any insights regarding your relationships and emotional landscape and set some intentions for growth.

05/04/2025

How can you measure distress?
Therapists often have to use intuition to understand aspects of a client’s experience. Emotional distress often exists in nuanced, subjective territories that are hard to quantify.
Psychotherapy often seeks to quantify distress through assessments and scales (like the Beck Depression Inventory or anxiety scales). This clashes with the intangible, highlighting how numerical data may not fully capture the depth of a client’s emotional landscape.
Within each person there is an pre reflective hidden consciousness. In therapy, clients may not always articulate their distress or even be fully aware of it. This can make it difficult to measure what they are experiencing.
In contrast, traditional metrics focus on observable behaviors and symptoms overlooking what may be hidden from view.
I believe we should consider the the fact that a person’s distress is unique and requires a personalised approach.
Standardised tools overlook the individual stories and complexities behind the numbers, leading to a potential disconnection from the client’s true experience.

Address

The Park Lane Clinic, 1a Leicester Street, LE13 0PP
Melton Mowbray
LE131AE

Website

http://www.lisagates.co.uk/

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MBACP Registered NHS/Private Psychotherapy and Counselling Consultations in person, by telephone and skype

Specialisms: Existential, Psychodynamic and Integrative

Specialisms include existential (life) crisis and ontological (self) insecurity, somatic and dissociative conditions, chronic pain and fatigue, historical and developmental trauma, complex grief, end of life situations, death anxiety, social anxiety and general anxiety disorders.

Other areas: abuse, negative and challenging behaviours, communication, depression, eating disorders, emotions, goals, motivation, self esteem, OCD, phobias, relationships and couples, self harm, shame and self criticism, stress, substance misuse, unhelpful thinking styles.