Lisa Gates

Applying Psychology to the Workplace, Cambridge University

FHEQ Level 4. Philosophy of Mind, Oxford University

Postgraduate Cert.Ed.

Psychotherapist & Supervisor (UKCP, MBACP & UPCA)
Owner of award winning health & wellbeing clinic - The Mowbray Clinic
Endorsed by Her Grace the Duchess of Rutland
Voted one of the leading inspirational thought leaders in the UK (Source TV) Specialisms:

Life crises and insecurity of the self, DID and dissociative conditions, historical and developmental trauma, complex grief, death anxiety, soc

ial anxiety and general anxiety disorders. Physical health psychology - ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia, Long Covid, Functional Neurological conditions, end of life situations, bereavement and loss.

Other areas: abuse, negative and challenging behaviours, communication, depression, eating disorders, emotions, goals, motivation, self esteem, OCD, phobias, relationships and couples, self harm, shame and self criticism, stress, substance misuse, unhelpful thinking styles. Current Doctoral Research:

Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex dissociation, De-personalisation, De-realisation, Fragmentation of self, Ontological Insecurity, Existential therapeutic approaches, Phenomenology of therapist/client relationship

Research and clinical supervisors:

Dr Susan Iacovou
Dr Simon Cassar

Qualifications:

MA, Existential Psychotherapy & Counselling, Middlesex University

Postgraduate Dip Existential Psychotherapy & Counselling, Middlesex University

Transactional Analysis (Official TA 101), The Berne Institute

Cert. Further and Adult Education, Clarendon College, Nottingham

BA(Hons) Design including Critical Studies, Nottingham Trent University

Accreditations and Memberships Registered MBACP, UPCA, Society for Existential Analysis (SEA), Oxford Philosophical Society

Consultations in person and online

29/04/2026

TRAUMATIC EVENTS OFTEN POINT TO A PAUSE STATE WHERE THE NERVOUS SYSTEM IS STUCK IN A SURVIVAL PATTERN.

This can feel like shutdown, or dissociation, feeling trapped, unable to make choices, or being suspended in time.

If you recognise this in yourself there is a need to stop forcing progress and let safety return first. However, this doesn’t mean you should stagnate or stay stuck for long.

Give yourself permission to be still rather than pressure to “fix it” immediately. Your trauma wound has created suspension, and healing begins when control is softened, safety is rebuilt, and a new viewpoint emerges.

Ask yourself:
- What is this pause protecting me from?
- What must I see differently before I can move?
- Where am I forcing myself past my capacity?

23/04/2026

“DEEP IN THE HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS IS A PERVASIVE NEED FOR A LOGICAL UNIVERSE THAT MAKES SENSE. BUT THE REAL UNIVERSE IS ALWAYS ONE STEP BEYOND LOGIC.” - Frank Herbert, Dune.

We all yearn for order, a neat alignment of everything. We crave a clear narrative from past to present to future, believing life will reach a final, certain conclusion.

However, life doesn’t function that way. Each experience leads to another, like a chain of links, not a final destination. It exists between meaning and mystery, pattern and paradox, what we can name and what we can only feel.

So when things don’t “make sense,” it’s not a sign of wrongdoing. It means you’ve encountered something profound.

21/04/2026

TEN YEARS SINCE THE PASSING OF PRINCE.

This lyric from Let’s Go Crazy evokes a collective, almost sacred acknowledgement of the human journey. It’s not just about passion but also endurance, unity and finding meaning amidst chaos.

Prince acknowledges life’s messiness and challenges, but encourages us to charge forward regardless. It’s a call to fully participate, not just survive but engage intensely creatively and even theatrically. His line grounds us; we’re all in this together so the message is to go meaningfully and remember others are walking the same path.

Prince was impulsive and passionate, and driven by desire and vision. His music will always keep him alive. 💜💜💜

13/04/2026

WHEN A TRAUMATIC EVENT OCCURS a sudden rupture in safety, identity, or trust happens. It overwhelms the system, shatters old defenses, or exposes a nervous system shock, collapse, alarm or disorientation. It is the moment when a person’s old way of coping stops working.

It can feel as if everything has fallen apart at once. The first thing to do is to slow down, regulate first, and avoid forcing immediate meaning onto the rupture.

The key message here is that what is falling apart is not you, it is a coping structure that can’t safely hold you through the traumatic event now.

28/03/2026

The world is constantly looking for progress, and visible success, but healing from grief should not be forced into a performance or a deadline. It is important to honour your loss while still moving forward on your own timeline.

You don’t need applause that grief is over, but acceptance that it can be slow and honest. Success can’t be defined in grief; it can’t be defined by how quickly you recover, but by whether you stay true to what you feel.

I encourage you to stand tall without pretending you are healed before you are.

It’s ok to grieve slowly in a world that wants you to hurry.

31/12/2025

At the end of 2025, it’s not things that are important to me, it’s the people who stand by me that make the year worth remembering. Its about honesty, loyalty, and the people that show up, the ones who turn the quiet moments into lasting memories.

Here’s to conversation, inside jokes, hugs after a long year, and the unwavering realness that keeps me grounded as we step into a fresh chapter.

I’m grateful for people who’ve seen me at my best and my messy moments, who celebrate the wins and lift me through the rest. May the new year bring more laughter, more truth, and more moments shared with the people who matter most. Happy New Year to my people and my little insta tribe—you are the spark that lights me up. Xx

10/12/2025

Christmas is a time of connection, memory, ritual, generosity, and sometimes heightened emotional triggers. It can magnify both joy and pain.
People who have experienced trauma, look for safety, predictable routines, boundaries and grounding.
Here are some slow, manageable steps toward healing and stability:
Firstly try to see the festive season as an opportunity for new beginnings, concentrate on grounding, and set the seeds of taking practical action and a fresh start to support safety, stability, and gradual healing.
* Set up a cosy, low-stimulus space for 15–30 minutes daily (include soft lighting, your comfort item, a warm drink).
* Choose 2–3 meaningful traditions to be involved in. Allow yourself to opt out of others without guilt. (Have a polite exit plan if a situation becomes overwhelming.)
* Stabilise the basics (sleep routine, meals, hydration). Add a 5-minute grounding exercise each day.
* Create a simple safety plan for events (a signal to take a break, a trusted person to check in with).
* Reflect and adjust. Note what felt grounding, what didn’t, and refine your boundaries for future festivities.

01/11/2025

The sense of “the self” is mediated by perception, emotion, and memory. Healing and growth happen in small, tangible actions as we acknowledge that the self isn’t a fixed container we can fully grasp. We can only work with what we can observe, i.e things like habits, sensations and thoughts; whilst staying compassionate toward the mystery of the self. Self-knowledge is a practice, not a possession.

Healing trauma means taking small steps to trust in the body and mind through manageable tasks; and starting only where you are right now. Acknowledge the non-linearity and interpretive nature of self-perception.

Think of one tiny step you’ll try today, maybe a boundary you will set, or a moment you can simply observe today.

26/10/2025

Awareness is incredible. Not just because we have a sense of who we are but also what we are not. For example, you are not your emotions. You are not anger or fear. Standing back objectively shows you this. We can’t be something that we are observing. We might say ‘I’m angry’ but we don’t need to identify with this as who we are. Awareness gives us a deeper sense of self. Emotions are real and valuable signals, yet they are not the full story of who we are.

The self includes our values, choices, and the awareness that we are the observer of our experience.

Next time you start to identify with an emotion, name it, notice its duration, and connect it to a value or boundary you hold dear. Transform what is a transitory feeling into meaning.

Imagine a vortex to deepen this understanding. If you were standing outside a vortex’s pull, you might witness emotions swirl around the centre of your awareness. You’re positioned at the edge, not in the swirl, so you can watch without being dragged inward.

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03/09/2025

Here’s an excerpt from an interview with Yahoo UK that I did recently about planning for your death, in light of Davina McCall’s terror at having brain surgery:
“Death is something that touches everyone, whether through our own experience or through the loss of someone we love. Lisa Gates, a BACP-registered therapist specialising in bereavement and complex grief, says confronting mortality can be an important and healthy step.
“Most people live life in a way that is in denial of death until they’re faced with it. It’s a human condition that we go around thinking, ‘Oh, that’s in the future. We don’t have to think about it,’” she tells Yahoo UK.
“But my approach is that actually confronting this gives people a deeper sense of self-awareness. If you confront your mortality, you can create more meaning in your life.”
You can read the full article here: https://uk.style.yahoo.com/davina-mccall-plan-death-family-brain-tumour-185842730.html

13/08/2025

“The time will come when,
with elation
you will greet yourself arriving…
in your own mirror
and each will smile at the others welcome.”

This excerpt of a poem by Derek Walcott made me think about self-acceptance as foundation for celebration.

The moment you truly accept yourself and parts of yourself—flaws, strengths, and all—becomes the moment you can celebrate. The mirror in this poem is a symbol of integration. Gazing at yourself and smiling back is a sign of inner alignment and new confidence.

My tips:

Mirror exercise: Spend a few minutes each day looking in the mirror and naming three things you genuinely appreciate about yourself. End with a smile.

Create a small celebration: Mark a milestone with a ritual—candles, a favorite meal, or a gathering with a trusted circle, expressing gratitude.

Inner-to-outer alignment: Align daily actions with your true self in the mirror (eg, your choices, boundaries, routines) so your external life reflects the inner harmony.

Comment below about how you get on! 🪞😀

13/07/2025

I AM ENOUGH

That’s a powerful affirmation isn’t it?

Say it loud and proud.

It suggests:

Self-empowerment: Recognising your inherent worth and mental strength.

Clarity of purpose: Affirming that you have the mental clarity and truth within yourself.

Start to say this as a new beginning to embrace
fresh ideas or perspectives, confident in your sufficiency.

Remember your mental resilience, and trust in your ability to overcome challenges with honesty.

Address

The Mowbray Clinic, 58 Kings Street
Melton Mowbray
LE131XB

Website

http://www.lisagates.co.uk/

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