26/10/2025                                                                            
                                    
                                                                            
                                            Im cross tonight, and sad and sick of the whole horse industry. I try to protect my own mental health by avoiding upsetting images, staying off sites that I know will trigger me, trying to focus on the positive changes in the equestrian world. And there are a lot of positives. 
But I have been bombarded by hideousness today, and I need to take a break to rebalance, find the peace and the calm again. The FEI backtracking on the blood rule is hopeless and so demoralising. So many overtight nosebands and harsh bits are still blatantly obvious- i have yet to see a trot up without a flash noseband. Is it fashion or ignorance? Do we not recognise that a horse with its mouth strapped shut will have tension from the hyoid, TMJâs, jaws, cervicals, all the way through the body to the hind leg function? 
I despair. Some weeks I see horses that have been used up and spat out by the industry at the age of 8. On their last chance because they have been so let down by people. Labelled ânappy bastardsâ because they are so stressed, so riddled with anxiety, the trust broken. It makes me so bloody sad.
I had a fabulous ride on Colin this morning. He is my daughters ride, I am his carer, but with her away at Uni, I have taken on the role of his reluctant jockey.
This is the horse who does not hack alone. I was warned off him pre purchase as he was dangerous, wouldnât leave the yard, was probably labelled âthe nappy bastardâ. He had been continually let down by people when he needed to trust them the most. How can a horse ever learn, ever grow confident if their people only frighten or bully them? 
Today, I rode him for an hour, on his own, through the village and back, on a loose rein with no noseband and a plastic bit. Iâm no rider, I had already decided that if he was worried or stressed enough to not want to go, I would get off him and continue in hand.
But he never even questioned me once. And that made me the happiest person in the world. Because that is surely what it is all about? The connection. The trust. The bond. That is a better feeling than any amount of rosettes or glory. Just knowing that the horse beneath you ( or beside you) thinks that you are ok, that they will go along with you and share your space and agree with your decision making. A partnership. 
Horse first. To me, that is all.