05/11/2019
Attachment Classifications shown in a simple format.
This graphic below by Sensitivity Project highlights why being predictably available to your child in the early years is so important. Whenever anything is inconsistent, anxiety increases. This is irrespective of age. Babies with their underdeveloped cortex suffer greatly when their caregiving is unpredictable. (GroBrain)
It's so important not only in those early days to provide consistent and reliable support to your newborn but also for your toddler, child, teenager to provide a stable ground and belief in support as they grow up.
One of my favourite areas of psychology is the theory and science of human attachment.
The quality of our attachment to our caregivers can be classified in the first 12-months of our life. Our attachment classification (“attachment style”) is a characteristic of the relationship not the individual. So, for example, a child may have an avoidant attachment with a specific caregiver, but that does not mean the child is classified as “avoidant”.
The greatest influence on the quality of our attachment with a caregiver is the caregiver’s sensitivity towards the child. This is called “parental sensitivity”. Parental sensitivity refers to a caregiver’s ability to accurately read the child’s needs and respond promptly and effectively to meet those needs.
The more sensitive the caregiver is towards the child’s needs, the more secure the child’s relationship with that caregiver will be.
When a caregiver is consistently sensitive towards their child, that child is like to have a secure relationship with that caregiver. When a caregiver is insensitive, dismissive, cold, or rejecting, the child is likely to develop an avoidant attachment. When a caregiver is inconsistently sensitive and responsive, the child is likely to develop an anxious attachment. When a caregiver is either frightening or frightened, the child is likely to develop a disorganised attachment, unable to develop an organised strategy to get their needs met.
As children, we develop beliefs about whether our needs will be met by others based on our early experiences with our primary caregivers. For example, if my parent was inconsistently available, I will develop the belief that I cannot predict whether others will meet my needs or not. These beliefs can be carried forward into adulthood, affecting our adult relationships across the lifespan.
The good news is that we can shift from insecure to secure states-of-mind through experiencing corrective relational experiences and through reparenting via pathways including self-work, therapy, spiritual practices, or healthy adult relationships.
