Moments Of Therapy With Jade

26/09/2025

✨ Online Self-Development Book Club ✨

🟢 The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins 🟢
- ‘Chapter 11: ’

👥 I believe this chapter can really help people understand that drifting apart isn’t always rejection. 
That you are allowed to evaluate friendships: to keep, to let go, to adapt. But it also encourages people to be proactive in their social lives & not just wait for invitations, but invite.

👯‍♀️I really liked how Mel R was able to explain the difference between child & adult friendships. 
As children we have some many things in common - routines, milestones, goals, hobbies, even ways of thinking, but as adults all this changes, which Mel Robbins describes as “The Great Scattering”.

3️⃣ The Three Pillars can help friendships survive & flourish:

🌍 Proximity – being physically or frequently near each other enough to build connection. (I loved the research she shared on how many hours it takes to form connections!)

⏰ Timing – being in the same phase of life or having similar schedules or capacities.

👩🏼‍❤️‍👩🏽 Energy – not just how often you meet, but how much mutual effort, interest, care you both bring. 

📌 I often speak to people about having different friends in different chapters of our lives. Some friendships fade, & that is okay!
Sometimes friends “have their season.” Letting go of guilt around drifting apart can free up space for relationships that fit where you are now. And same for your friends that you have grown apart from. 💕



23/09/2025

✨ Online Self-Development Book Club ✨

🟢 The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins 🟢
- ‘Chapter 10: How to Make Comparison Your Teacher’

👀 Here Mel Robbins shows that when we compare in an unhelpful way, we’re using comparison as torture. But when we use it to learn, grow, & shape what we want, it becomes a teacher. 💡

There are two ways to compare:
*Torture Comparison vs Teacher Comparison.*

I often see people comparing themselves & feeling crushed because they compare with someone in different circumstances. 
This chapter suggests that rather than seeing others as finish lines, see them as guides.

Sometimes jealousy feels shameful. But by reframing jealousy as “what I value or want” softens it. It becomes useful feedback rather than self-criticism. ✅


👉🏼 Your biggest competitor isn’t the person you’re comparing yourself to, it’s the version of yourself that’s too afraid to try.👈🏼



22/09/2025

✨ Online Self-Development Book Club ✨

🟢 The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins 🟢
- ‘Chapter 9: ‘Yes, Life Isn’t Fair’

This chapter reminds us that life has unfair parts. Some people have easier paths set out for them. Some don’t. It’s crap - but it’s real. 🫨
The important part is shifting your way of thinking to *What you can do.*

🃏How you play your hand counts much more than what the hand is. 🃏

🎒Comparison is like a heavy backpack you carry around. Obsessing over what others have, can torture you mentally. But you can drop the backpack … Your choices, actions, & mindset are in your hands and in your control. It’s about resilience, acceptance, and forward movement. 💪🏽


❌ Remember Comparison kills joy. - When you compare, you’re not seeing the full story. You see someone’s success, not the struggle that got them there. You see someone’s privilege, not necessarily the cost. You see an outcome, not the journey.

✅ Use what you do have: values, determination, habits, vision. Let those guide you. Let them shape your path. Let you show up for you, even when the deal feels unfair.


21/09/2025

✨ Online Self-Development Book Club ✨

🟢 The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins 🟢
- ‘Chapter 8: ’The right decision often feels wrong.’

❓Ever made a decision that felt wrong but turned out it was right for you? ❓

I think it is important to remember when reading this chapter, that yes we should not base our big life decisions on other’s emotions, however, I do believe there is a healthy, gentle way to approach this. 

Yes we are going to upset people in life by not choosing the decision they might want us to, but we can be kind about this. 
But we should also not put something off, in fear of upsetting others, if it is the right thing to do. 🧡

We shouldn’t not have the conversations, or not do something to stop someone from having the uncomfortable emotions … Let Them have those uncomfortable feelings - they need to come up for a reason. 🧠

As a counsellor, I often see clients struggle with guilt or fear when making decisions that might upset others. This chapter reinforces the idea that prioritising one’s own well-being is not selfish, it’s necessary for a healthy, authentic life! ✨

🔍 Take aways -

👉🏼 Right decisions often feel uncomfortable.
Choosing what’s best for you - like ending a relationship, changing careers, or setting a boundary can feel wrong at first. The discomfort is normal & doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.

👉🏼 Emotions are temporary, but regret lasts longer.
The emotional discomfort from making a tough decision typically peaks & fades. However, the regret from avoiding necessary decisions can linger much longer.

👉🏼 You can’t control others’ feelings, but you can control your actions.
While your decisions might upset others, you are not responsible for their emotions. Your responsibility is to make choices that align with your values & well-being.

👉🏼 Short-term discomfort can lead to long-term peace.
Facing the temporary discomfort of making a difficult decision can lead to greater peace & alignment with your true self in the long run.

20/09/2025

✨ Although I could happily eat M&S out of these new gingerbread & white chocolate cookies (seriously addictive 🤎🍪), I won’t gate-keep … consider this your cosy rainy-day plan:

1. Pick up the cookies (trust me, they’re the perfect autumnal treat 🍪).

2. Make yourself a warming cuppa (extra points if it’s in your favourite seasonal mug 🎃☕).

3. Wrap up in your cosiest blanket – let yourself sink in, feel safe, warm, and grounded.

4. Slow your pace – light a candle, listen to soothing rain sounds or gentle music, and just be.

5. Nourish your soul – journal, meditate, put on Harry Potter/ Gilmore Girls or simply give yourself permission to rest.

Sometimes the best self-care is found in the little rituals – a blanket, a biscuit, a mindful pause. 🍂

Wouldn’t today be the perfect day to give yourself that gift? 💫

19/09/2025

✨ Online Self-Development Book Club ✨

🟢 The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins 🟢
- ‘Chapter 7: When Grown-Ups Throw Tantrums’

👀I think this is my favourite chapter so far! 

I really liked how Mel Robbins doesn’t shame the adults who do not know how to emotionally regulate, instead she offers a gentle, practical lens.

Not only did this chapter discuss grown-up tantrums, but also the children’s tantrums - or let’s call it for what they are, their cry out for help! 

Now hear me out, I know the screaming & meltdowns can be torture & all you want to do is switch off, numb out & put your headphones in! 🤣 

But … I worked with children & young adults for 20 years (damn I’m kinda showing my age here!) From the 9 month babies, those in primary school, secondary school, to those in a children’s care homes. 
The main thing I took away was actually it’s USUALLY (not always) the parents that need help or therapy, more than the children!

Let’s face it, we’ve all seen (or had!) a “grown-up tantrum.” From slammed doors to silent treatment, it’s not always a screaming scenario, but it’s the same emotional storm. 🫨🤯 
*(Remember we’re not talking about abuse here, that is another topic all together.)*

But here’s what I often see:
When people ‘lose it’, it’s not always about you. It’s usually because they can’t manage their feelings right then. 
They haven’t learned better tools, or their stress is too high to use them. 
(I might call this ‘being out of the window of tolerance’ in sessions - I could do another post on this one day!) 🪟

Seeing the “child-self” inside the person having the ‘paddy’ is a powerful tool. It helps you step out of defensiveness and into empathy.
But empathy doesn’t mean being a doormat! You can try to see what’s behind the outburst, but you can also protect yourself: your peace, your mental health, your dignity. ❗️If someone’s anger turns into shouting, threats, or harm, you absolutely need boundaries.

… more caption in comments as I had a lot to say 😂

18/09/2025

✨ Online Self-Development Book Club ✨

🟢 The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins 🟢

- ‘Chapter 6 - How to Love Difficult People’

🧠 As a therapist I often talk about “Frame Of Reference” so I loved that there is a full chapter all about this!

So what does it mean? - 🥾🎥
Everyone sees the world through a lens shaped by their past: their fears, hurts, hopes, experiences. 
It can be very hard for someone to think about or even understand someone else’s frame of reference when you are not in their shoes. 🩰

BUT by trying to, it can help you in difficult situations or even with conflict. 
It doesn’t mean that the other person is wrong, or right, it just means they are seeing it from a different frame of reference. 

☝🏼However, even if you can understand where someone is coming from, for your own wellbeing you need limits. Boundaries aren’t walls to shut people out, they’re guidelines that protect your self-respect & mental health & maybe even your peace. ☮️

👁️ Understanding someone’s Frame of Reference doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. It just means you have a better idea about the way they are thinking and maybe why they are acting in a certain way.

📚I think Chapter 6 teaches that loving difficult people is possible, & healthier when you understand where they’re coming from. 
But remembering a priority is to also protect your own well-being through boundaries.
 It’s not about fixing them, it’s about loving them without losing yourself. 

✨ IMPORTANT REMINDER ✨ Deep acceptance is freeing, but it doesn’t mean staying in toxic situations. There’s a difference between loving someone difficult & tolerating abuse.


12/09/2025

✨ Last night I had the privilege of attending a beautiful women’s circle ✨

As a counsellor, I hold space daily for women to feel safe, vulnerable, & connected with their emotions & thoughts. It’s something I deeply advocate for and am honoured to witness in my work.

But as a woman, I also know how important it is for me to keep having those same opportunities outside of my role – to show up fully, tend to my own inner world, & nurture myself so I can continue showing up authentically for my clients.

Last night, stepping into a circle with complete strangers, I allowed myself again to share vulnerable parts of me and it reminded me how powerful it is. Vulnerability is a superpower. 🌿💫

A heartfelt thank you to Rachel for holding such a safe, beautiful space and guiding us through a deeply moving meditation. I left feeling lighter, connected, and so looking forward to the next one. 💖

Experiencing this for myself reminded me just how powerful these circles can be, & it’s something I may one day bring into my own work. For now, I’m simply grateful to have been held in such a nurturing space. 🌿✨

12/09/2025

12/09/2025

✨ Online Self-Development Book Club ✨

🟢 The Let Them Theory - Mel Robbins 🟢

- ‘Chapter 5 - Let them think bad thoughts about you’

✨ “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” 
… Now answer again, but this time answer but give yourself permission to live however you want to, along with giving permission for other’s to think whatever they want to. 

📚 🎨 What hobbies or dreams do you want to start, but the worry of what others will say have been stopping you? What changes can you make if you were not worried about others judging?

It’s human to want other people to like you. But if you lean too hard into that, you live by the fear of others instead of your own compass. 🧭

💕 I see so many people staying small due to the fear of judgement. They say less, & try to hide parts of themselves. This chapter offers permission to stop that.

🧠 The average human has around 70,000 thoughts a day, half of which you cannot control. So why are you then trying to control someone else’s? *You can’t*
👉🏼 No matter how nice, how perfect, how careful you are, people are going to have negative thoughts about you, but the people that matter still love & like you. 
Just like you will think negative thoughts about people you still love & like. That’s ok, that is being a human. 

So focus your energy on what you can control … Your beliefs about yourself, your actions, what you choose to do in spite of what others think. That is within your power. Use your energy there. ✨

👉🏼 When you are proud of yourself, you hold the power. ✨