Me, Myself and Cancer

13/04/2026

Finally. Tomorrow we ride the far north railway line from Inverness to Thurso, the most northerly train stations in Britain. It's meant to be one of the most beautiful stretches of scenery in the country and its been on my bucket list for a while now.

When you're living with terminal cancer, a bucket list can be a great way to ensure you don't stop living life and to fill your life with new experiences. It doesn't have to be exotic, or even exciting, just be honest with yourself about what's important to you.

Personally, this has come at a good time for me after months of things going wrong. I don't feel like I've really got going this year and my quality of life has suffered. Hopefully this is the start of something altogether more stable and positive 😀

11/04/2026

As someone living with terminal cancer, I've learned to live with a torrent of overwhelming emotions. Some Good. Some bad. Often at the same time.

These past few months I've been through so many difficult and challenging experiences that it feels a good time to check in with my emotions and see how I'm coping mentally. It's one way I manage my resilience, which has definately taken a beaten lately.

You can read all about this on my latest blog post here and join thousands of readers around the world. I'm grateful for all your support as always. Jim xx

This post reflects on the challenges of living with cancer and addresses the emotional and physical struggles. The importance of acknowledging feelings and adapting to life’s changes is also …

03/04/2026

I'm a free man 😀 I actually got out of hospital yesterday and it was so nice to sleep in my own bed! Each hospital stay, and they are wracking up these days, seems to get harder.

One of the reasons for this is that, and more so since I've been living with a terminal illness, I don't like to be away from my family too much. I can accept being in hospital when I'm being treated but there seems to be a lot of wasted days.

This time I was in for six days and something only really happened on day five when I had my colonoscopy and they started me back on high-dose steroids. I had a few bags of fluid on the other days. Nothing more. Naturally, I asked to leave ha

The colonoscopy showed some quite nasty inflamation. No wonder I've been feeling so bad. The biopsy confirmed ulcerative colitis, another life-long condition I'll have to manage. Of course, we don't know how long my life will be. But then, no one ever knows so not worth thinking about. Today, I'm alive. That's all that's important. They're starting me on some tablets. More medication. Yippee.

I also saw my oncologist yesterday for the results of my latest CT Scan. This was going to tell us if the new cancer spread was stable or not. It felt like there was so much resting on it, especially since I haven't been able to have any treatment and this weeks also had to be cancelled. The third cycle in a row.

The good news is that the cancer is behaving itself. Good boy. What a relief. The better news is my oncologist has decided that I dont need the chemo right now. That's music to my ears. It's gonna give my body chance to recover and hopefully I can enjoy life a bit more, and Scotland. Plus, might be able to book Naples, Italy now.

Bad times are a big part of living with cancer, but you have to believe that another good spell is around the corner. Never lose hope. Today, we decided to come into Durham for fish and chips, it is good Friday afterall, and a trip to the cathedral, one of the best in my opinion. I even treated myself to a new walking stick and a vinyl record. Yes, I still listen to records. Life is what you make of it, and while I don't feel great, today has been a real boost 😊

Happy Easter. Jim xx

01/04/2026

Since I have time on my hands, I got around to writing a new blog post which you can read here. I'll provide an update tomorrow on where things stand after I've spoken to my oncologist

If you haven't already read my blog, check it out now and join 10s of thousands of people around the world who have tuned in so far.

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Here I discuss the struggles of living with cancer and feeling trapped, as well as the desire to participate in life actively because, despite challenges, I seek joy and purpose.

28/03/2026

Look who just showed up 😂

27/03/2026

Hi all. I've been meaning to post for a while now but there's been so much going on, none of it good, that it just never seemed to happen.

Living with terminal cancer can be bloody hard, make no mistake about it. There's times when things are going okay, and times when they're not. I'm in an extended phase of the latter. Everything is being thrown and me one after the other, and it does wear you down. It's okay to admit that.

I'm back in hospital. Inflamation or infection. We don't know which yet. I wonder will I catch a break and yet, I do know that these things tend to be temporary. They will be resolved. I just have to remind myself of that and be kind to myself and to know it isn't possible to be upbeat all the time. That isn't what living well with cancer is about.

There will be times you cope and times you don't. That's healthy. It's where you want to be. Can't be down all the time but you also need to allow yourself to process what is happening. I know my will isn't broken. It will return when I need it. Believe in yourself. It's much easier to cope when what you have to cope with is manageable.

I haven't got a picture of me in hospital so, here's one of me at Durham Botanic Gardens, one of my favourite places. It was taken at the weekend. I wasn't feeling great but I made myself go out and be surrounded by nature in the sun. There was some haha Perfect. Those are the moments I cherish

Jim xx

12/03/2026

Another Thursday, another delay of my chemotherapy. My bloods came back and haemoglobin is too low to have the treatment so I need a blood transfusion. I've had one before so it's no big deal.

Not only that, but on Monday I started with a rash all over my body. It's so itchy, enough to drive you to despair. Honestly, it's been a lot to cope with and it's always okay to admit that. I'm doing my best and that's good enough right now. I know these things are only temporary.

It's taking some getting through these cycles, but cancer treatment doesn't always go as planned. You need to adapt to these changing situations and accept them. No good fighting what you can't win. Focus on what you can control.

At least it explains why I've been sleeping so much, and why it took me best part of an hour and a half to put up a shelf today. I had to rest after each of the four brackets. Still, I managed it. Small wins. We also went out for coffee but I forgot to take a photo so you get a photo of me as a child instead haha I was smiling then too. I loved that plane 😀

Jim xx

06/03/2026

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard! Chris Hyde, Mark Kahn, Laura Lewis, Jim Mulderrig, Ronnie Andre, Marc Holloway, Julie Donnelly Crowden, Diamond Michael, Karen Miles, Robyn Nicole, Britt Swain, Lizmarie Eakin, Vicky Wallis, Sarah Southworth

05/03/2026

Well, I swapped one chair for another today. Instead of having chemo, I went to the coast instead. I'm still too weak to have treatment and, as I'm still too weak to do any real walking, we got the wheelchair back out.

Getting a wheelchair was one of the best things I did. It allows me to do things at times when I wouldn't be able to. Today was too nice a day to miss walking by the sea, one of my favourite things to do.

It's frustrating to delay chemo again, but it's necessary, and I'm not worried. I believe I will complete the cycles and that the treatment will work. You'll notice I have a bottle of water in the picture. I'm staying hydrated folks.

I have zero shame being pushed around in a wheelchair. There are a lot of stigmas that exist these days but I've never come up against any. It's a means to make my life better and I'm all for that. Otherwise, it would've been another day on the sofa and I hate wasting the days my wife is off work.

She works so hard on the days she does work, sometimes until late into the night, and I just hope her employer appreciates what they've got. Shes been througjh much and I couldn't do any of this without her.

We treasure the time we get together though. That's what's important in our life now. Time spent together is precious and we've just booked to do the Far North Ralway Line in the Scottish Highlands for April. It's high on my bucket list.

Hopefully I make it... I don't plan on dying haha but way these chemo cycles have been going, it's anyone's guess. Still, that's what cancellation cover is for and it's a great motivation 😁

Jim xx

01/03/2026

Just a quick update to explain the radio silence when people have been messaging. I ended up back in hospital on Friday. Nothing too serious this time. I think with all the sickness and diarrhea I've had lately, I ended up severly dehydrated so just needed some fluids and Potassium really.

It's really hard for me to stay hydrated because I have stage 3 kidney disease. This was the result of the first lot of chemo (BEP) I had, which is particularly harsh on kidneys. I'm drinking like a fish now. If that's a thing. Do fish drink a lot haha

I'm home now anyway, which is best place for me. I'm exhausted but happy. These chemo cycles are a real struggle and I'll probably need another break now. That's okay. It's important to manage these things and listen to your body. We will get through it, and that's what's important.

There's always a chance that the cancer spread gets out of control, but there aren't any signs of that right now so I really don't think too much about that. I can only deal with what's happening and what needs to happen. I find unnecessarily worrying about things that haven't happened to be a waste of precious energy.

I always try to reply to every message and comment, but if I don't, I'm probably not doing that well physically. I'll never ignore anyone. The support that I receive from you all is too important to me.

Jim xx

26/02/2026

So, I was hoping today was going to be an all out celebratory post, and it still is. Almost. Because, even when things go wrong it's important to shout out what went right too. I find living with terminal cancer, life even, is all about where you choose to focus. If you focus on the negative too much, then of course your life is going to seem negative.

The good news is that I've completed my fourth cycle of chemo after having to abandon the last cycle half way through. I took my last tablets this morning and now I get a week off. I'm so grateful for having completed this cycle. The break too is very welcome because the past few days I've had really bad abdominal pains and I've been exhausted and cold.

These can be common side-effects of CAPOX Chemo so they don't worry me, but they have made it more difficult and not enjoyable. The worst was to come last night though. Diarrhea from hell, and unbelievable pain. I was close to tears I can tell you.

Again, Diarrhea affects up up to 92% of patients receiving CAPOX Chemo between days 8 and 14 (yesterday was day 14). That doesn't make it any less unpleasant though. Eventually, this stopped and I think I passed out so I got some sleep at least, but I'm in bed today instead of going bowling with my wife and daughter.

These things are sent to try us haha You just have to accept them as best you can, and listen to your body. Besides, I've still managed to meet up with friends and family this week and had some good times so not all is lost. Hopefully I pick up soon.

In other good news, and this is really exciting, I want you you meet the main character of a new Children's book I'm going to be publishing with Panda Publishing. This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and something I probably wouldn't have done prior to my diagnosis. I've really used my situation as an opportunity to better myself and this will be another dream realised for me and my daughter.

I'm just waiting on the illustrator right now so keep checking back for lots of exciting updates. It's based on a poem I wrote for my daughter and I can't wait to share it with you all 😊

Jim xx