29/05/2022
Anger…
This is a very powerful emotion and not often spoken about as associated with “shame” in todays society, but one, that actually with all the current goings on in the world, people should pay more attention to.
Anger is usually a secondary emotion to cover for pain, upset or vulnerability. It does not make pain disappear, but can distract from it for a short period of time. One thing is be aware of who the anger is hurting…people try and use it to hurt others as a form of “justice”, which it may well do so, but usually it is yourself burnt first and foremost. It can also cause further problems at work with colleagues, or even losses with family, friends and relationships of all forms. This can be a conscious or unconscious decision, to be angry, and can convert vulnerability or pain into feeling like there is power or control over a situation. Even though that is not the reality.
However… one thing that is forgotten, although it totally ok to feel angry, it is NEVER acceptable to be cruel, disrespectful or intentionally hurt or intimidate others. If someone treats you badly often when they are angry or frustrated, this can be an indication of how they actually feel about you. And this does not have to be accepted as we are all worthy of kindness and empathy….regardless our flaws and imperfections. It is not ok to hold others to a standard you do not have for yourself.
It is relatively easy for most people to be calm and decent when something goes their way, but to have enough discipline to not be cruel and condemn when upset…. now THAT is a sincere and genuine form of love and care. Invest in those few rare people that really show up and care without expectations in return.
How do you show up when you are angry? Does this resonate with you? Any tips for those struggling?
“Speak when you are angry…and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret”
Laurence J Peter 📖
(Educator and Writer, 1919 - 1988)