30/04/2026
For a long time, I thought silence was strength.
From 2021 to end of 2022, I went through a family situation that felt critical. My immediate response was to retreat. I secluded myself, stopped reaching out to friends, and slowly disappeared from social media. I told myself I was just âhoning inâ on the problem.
But isolation has a way of becoming a habit.
By 2023, even though the crisis had passed, the isolation had stuck. It became my ânew normal.â I had my toolsâŠI had ways to regulate myself but I was missing the most underrated regulator of all: human connection.
A few weeks ago, someone very wise asked me if I had anyone to talk to about a dynamic we were navigating.
My response was immediate and walled up: âI donât need to talk to anybody.â I thought I was fine. I thought I was regulated. But looking back over the last two weeks, I realized I wasnât regulated; I was just avoiding.
What Iâve Learned About the Nervous System:
We often think that by shoving emotions down and isolating, we are managing them. But the nervous system doesnât work that way.
âą The âExplosionâ Factor: When we donât co-regulate with people we trust, those suppressed emotions donât disappear. They stay in the body, building pressure until they explode in areas (and at people) that donât deserve it.
âą Co-Regulation is Medicine: Having a handful of good friends isnât just a social luxury,itâs a biological necessity for emotional health.
Iâm currently treading water, slowly reaching out to old friends and rebuilding those bridges. Itâs vulnerable, and itâs a bit scary, but itâs how we heal.
If youâre in a season of âdisappearing,â this is your gentle nudge: Donât let your temporary protection become your permanent cage. We arenât meant to regulate in a vacuum.
Transformational Coaching for Women
