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Death, funerals and me, Mirfield (2025)

23/07/2025

HE WAS INCREDIBLE, BUT HE WASN'T INVINCIBLE

I used those words that his sister said to me as part of the service today.

The drive back this afternoon felt heavy, one of those where I got back to my vehicle and took a deep breath before I set off. As I called at Aldi on my way home for some bleach, toilet roll, crisps and raspberries, you know, the essentials (!) I had that slightly unusual but not entirely new feeling of 'What have I just done?' And now I'm here, in my black dress and heels, buying bleach...

Not because buying bleach is a problem, but it represents the return to normality and the mundane, and I know that the family I've just been with, and the sea of loved ones alongside them, are living far from normal..they're back at the wake trying to stay standing when their ground has opened up.

And yet, the world will keep spinning, and soon they too might need to stop off for cleaning products or random snacks. The realisation that life goes on in the face of your devastating loss is one of the many gut wrenching aspects of grief, especially early grief.

There aren't enough words for how heart-breaking today was. A young man of just 26, a brand new dad, a son, a brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, friend...a police officer...sadly his story played out in the news...the search...the desperation and the worst news confirmed.

I met this young man and his family when I led the service for his Nana in January. As a professional, it's harder still when you know the family. I'm there to be a professional, to do the job with feeling, but to hold it together for the family - it's not about me. As a human being, there's times where you really have to draw on every bit of resolve you have. Sometimes you have to say in your head over and over. It's. Not. About. Me. And then be the very best you can be.

With three beautiful family tributes (honestly, no words for how incredible they are for getting up there) we did the very best we could for him.

I don't know how many people were there today...but every single person of the hundreds (and hundreds) that gathered there are forever changed by this. His family and closest ones have to somehow put one foot in front of the other in a life they don't recognise. They bravely said that if there is any good to come out of this, they hope that somehow, more can be done to try and prevent it happening to others - their words, not mine. It isn't for me to suggest silver linings.

Today was one of those jobs you wish you didn’t have to do, but the honour of being asked to do it, and to support their family again, is immense.

I close with the words we opened with today:
"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."
Rest in peace CM, you were so loved by so many 🤍

18/07/2025

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER

Hopefully you've noticed by now that I only post on here from time to time, only when I think I have something to say, but not only that, I like to have a hook to hang my words on too (see, the Journalism degree was never wasted).

It's a slightly different hook in a way - today was the last day of the school year for my children. On the one hand, it's hard to believe it's been a year, and on the other, it's been a very long 12 months. Ain't that the way of life?! The days are long but the years are short.

My eldest has completed her first year in high school, my middle one now heads into her final year of primary school, and I can hardly believe that my youngest will be going into year 3 (and is still a tiny nutter). I've realised that no parent can ever believe that their children are as old as they are.

Four weeks of juggling childcare, summer camps and work beckons before we head off on holiday. I'm so lucky to have the support of my mum to help me to continue working during the holidays, and luckily, my children enjoy the various different activities we're signed up for. As hard as the holiday juggle is, there's something to be said for not having to do the school run!

By the time we go away, I will have done a full 12 months without taking any time off (except the 2 days / 1 night away we had in February half term). Of course, I sometimes have days where I have no services or visits, but as my work has grown, these have become few and far between and those aren't days off, because I always have work to do. I've realised in the last few weeks, how mentally hard it has been. I'm more than grateful, but I can recognise it's soon time for a rest.

It wasn't my intention to work flat out since last September, it's just happened, and I'm so grateful to the FDs who continue to put their trust in me and the many families I've had the honour of supporting.

I have my summer timetable up and running, with a duplicate copy for my incredible mum, I'm looking forward to watching my girls in various shows and activities over the next few weeks, whilst I continue my work. And then, fairly soon, it will be time for me to break up for summer too. ☀️ 💕

09/07/2025

I collected Starr's ashes today. I was on my way from a service in Bradford this morning to an afternoon service at Dewsbury. The afternoon service was for the family that I visited last Monday when it all happened..a weird little full circle moment. The vets called yesterday, as promised, to say they were ready, and I needed to go today because tomorrow and Friday, work takes me to the Huddersfield side of town.

I didn't really want to do it before a funeral, because yet again, I didn't feel like I could embrace the moment and let my emotions out as I carried her cremated remains and empty carry case across the car park..I did have a little cry in the vets, who were very kind, and looked a bit shocked when I said I had come from a funeral and had to go and deliver another. I couldn't look properly until I got home, but I had spotted the paw print and the little jar of her fur at the top of the bag, a really lovely touch.

What a hard few weeks it's been I have to say, for a number of reasons. I'm hoping to re-charge a bit over the summer months and to give myself a bit of a break. 🐈‍⬛🌈❤️‍🩹

05/07/2025

GOODBYE OLD GIRL

Today is pet remembrance day. It feels like everyday is some sort of day or other now..it can be a bit much and I wouldn't post about all of them, but on Monday, one of our cats, Starr aka 'Kes' went in for a dental procedure, but sadly what was discovered was far worse than we knew, and we ended up having to make the incredibly difficult decision to let her go, whilst she wasn't in any pain, so she didn't have to suffer for our gain.

Terrible timing meant that I was en route to a see a bereaved family and had to make the horrendous decision over the phone. Needless to say, I turned up to see the family with red eyes and a tear stained face.

I could have cancelled the visit, but the funeral is on Wednesday, and when you go into this sort of work, you accept that it's not the kind of thing where you'd cancel or rearrange plans lightly, however hard it is.

I don't say that to paint myself as a martyr, I'm not, probably more a fool! What advice would I give others? ....just had to decide to put your pet to sleep? Take the day off, have a cup of tea and cry on the sofa...look after yourself. But in this line of work, we tend to have to do things that we wouldn't recommend to a friend.

It was hard, but I've done hard things; the family were so understanding and brought me a cold drink (Monday was melting if you remember) and I got myself in the zone.
The days after my auntie died last October, I had a packed diary; I visited families and stood up at services...last Friday on Anne's birthday was tough. I've had a really hard few weeks for various reasons is the truth, but we keep going...we don't know how strong we are until we need to be.

Starr and her sister Skye came into our lives in May 2010, the month we moved into our home. I'd just had my diagnosis of Hodgkins Lymphoma and had started treatment. We got the cats to give me a purpose to get up in a morning. They gave me lots of love and cuddles during those long days and months at home when I was in a lot of pain.

It's been a hard week in our house and the girls were so shocked and upset when I had to break the news after school. Her sister has wanted even more cuddles this week and has been acting differently...

The loss of a pet is tough, they're part of our families, they leave a hole and lots of memories. In this work, we know that you don't minimise anyone else's loss. We don't judge it from our position, however someone feels is valid.

Goodnight Starr. From that timid little kitten we couldn't get near, you learned to trust us, you only ever wanted love and affection. You were hard work at times, you had a phase of bringing all sorts of presents home - trying to drag a pigeon through the cat flap was probably the most notable! We will miss you. 💔🥺🐈‍⬛

27/06/2025

You should be turning 65 today. You should be here with us, being the most grateful anyone has ever been for anything in their life, even for ‘just a little something’, even for a rubbish supermarket cake and mismatch candles, which, less face it, is what you got in our house. Your humility and grace always shone through, even though you were endless classy with impeccable taste.

Last year, you thought you were going for a meal at Grappollo’s…but your nearest and dearest secretly gathered and took you by surprise. We all knew then that every day, and every moment was precious. You were so poorly, and yet you were sunshine and joy, as ever, it was just incredible to see.

It’s almost impossible to comprehend that just a couple of weeks after that, we moved into those last chapters, the ones that slowly took you further away, cruelly, until the end. How you battled on as long as you did, I’ll never know. How you faced it all with such quiet dignity, and courage, with a smile on your face and humour until the last, until you physically couldn’t, is hard to believe.

Bittersweet memories are a curious thing. Especially when they’re the most recent, the freshest, and the most raw. And often, when someone’s lived with illness and been changed at the hand of illness and eventually been cruelly taken before their time, those memories aren’t the ones we want to hold on to.

We want to remember them at their best. But that’s not easy, it’s a slow process, it’s tough work, and anniversaries of things or birthdays can remind us of those ‘last times’ or ‘this time last year’ moments, and in those moments, you can feel right back in the thick of it. This day last year was the last time we texted.. I do think about last year, about how hard it was, how we all smiled and laughed and embraced it all, whilst our hearts were breaking for what was to come. How can we be so strong and yet so fragile?

Today, I’ve been out there doing what I do. It was a huge one at Shay Grange for a very well loved man...very very sad, and yet very inspiring. It was hard...a few wobbles before I set off.. You supported me in this from the very off. You followed every twist and turn, you always read my posts and you believed in me when my own belief wavered.

We think of you every day, and especially today, and we miss you every day...I can’t even begin to describe how much I miss you...

My love and thoughts are also with a very dear friend, whose mum’s service I led on this day last year.

I know you'd have been proud of me today, and actually, I think I was proud of me today.

20/06/2025

Today I led two services that had many similarities, in an overall way, and some differences too.

One service was for a gentleman of 92, almost 93 years. The other service was for a lady of 95. Both had lived to what we usually consider 'a good age'.

Both had led, what their respective families described as 'happy lives'. Good, honest, honourable lives. They were adored by the their families. The gentleman had outlived some of his family and most of his friends. His small close family, enough to sit on just one row, were the only ones in attendance - they knew that's how it would be and planned a very personal and intimate service.

The lady had a very large family and extended family - her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren and their respective partners, plus some of her siblings, nieces and nephews accounted for over half the space in the chapel, and she was much loved by neighbours and her local community; the room was just about full.

Both families had a really big hand in creating the tributes - the gentleman's family wrote his tribute and two members came up to read poems they had chosen.

The lady's service included 4 tributes from the family, with 3 people coming up to read them, and the rest of the tribute from me was put together from everything we talked about at the large family meeting a few weeks ago.

It was boiling in both services! I chose a trouser suit made from lightish fabric today, hoping any breeze would help, compared to the tights I wore yesterday that I thought had melted to my actual flesh.

For the lady's service, I took the unusual step of joining in the theme (I usually dont, for a few reasons) but the invitation was to wear sparkle or a bit of bling, which she loved! I don't need asking twice to wear a bit of sparkle, so I went full sparkle mode and happily ditched the jacket.

Two lives well lived. Two families who truly appreciated how lucky they have been to have loved them then, and love them still. A small intimate gathering, and a large group, all sitting in the sauna like conditions to bid farewell. Both ways are beautiful and their families did them proud.

I take the worst selfie, you can see an unattended wash basket in the background, and the fan, but that's life, and it's best 'lived' honestly.

11/06/2025

THE GRIEF OF STANDING FIRM ON DECISIONS THAT BRING SADNESS

It's been said that, 'Just because it hurts, it doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. Just because you miss them, doesn't mean you can be in their life.'

And yet, we can never go back, once someone has died, so we have to be very clear and conscious in our decision if we walk away or cut ties... living with regret is never fun. I don't have the answers. It's tricky, this life.

This week, I've led two services where there have been some difficult family relationships, either with the person who has died or within the family still here.

The added complexities of the grief in those situations is so difficult. You can feel the pain they wrestle with, even when they feel they've made the right decision.

I was full of admiration for the family members I worked with as we put together a respectful tribute to someone who wasn't perfect, but he was theirs, and he'd worked hard and dedicated time to things that were important to him. A lot of people turned up to pay their respects.

For some of the family, there'd been distance for long periods of time. We can be factual about some things, we can be gracious, but we don't need to be disingenuous. We can't paint a picture that isn't accurate. I said it in my last post because I know it to be true, people aren't perfect in life or in death, and as we learn from others, we might learn what to do and what not to do. And that's ok.

In another service, in what was an intimate gathering; some of the family chose not to be there. As a celebrant, we're usually put in touch with the person taking the lead on the service and as such, we take our lead from them. We can only do as we are asked and we work with the information we have, and do it in a respectful way. It is heart-breaking to think of people leaving the world with family in conflict but life is imperfect. Our role is to give the person the best tribute we can.

There's many reasons that we fall in and out of each other's lives; we should never judge too harshly, or at all. There's times we have to put our own well-being or our own family first, even when it's family, or someone that was a good friend. Sometimes you have to stand firm, even though part of you doesn't want to. You can still love someone from a distance and want the best for them but can't be around them. You can still hope they have a happy birthday...We can walk beside people but we can't ever make anyone do or not do anything. We can't change people.

I keep seeing posts recently about time slipping away and thinking we have time etc (anyone else getting sick of really obviously AI generated stuff on FB now? No AI here I assure you.... It's surely true but I'm not going to get that heavy on it and put the scaries out. The point here is that I don't think anyone walks away from someone they love lightly and we should always be gentle because the feelings will be powerful.

Events like funerals can sometimes we be a catalyst for making amends, but not always. Sometimes things don't or can't be put right. I don't have a poignant line to end on today, only that I think in the careful and respectful sharing of stories, we can learn from the experience of others and in being honest about the things that pain us, we can find those who understand.

01/06/2025

On what would have been your 69th birthday...I don't have many words of wisdom or sentiment today, I'm pretty tired, only this -
Everything doesn't happen for a reason and every cloud doesn't have a silver lining, we simply have to choose life in spite of what happens; to create a good life and apply the lessons you learn from people and the experiences. People aren't perfect in life or death, but peace can be found and love still lives.

23/05/2025

HOW SUDDENLY IT COMES, THIS LAST TODAY, TOMORROW SEEMED SO FAR AWAY WHEN WE WERE YOUNG….

…that’s a line from a poem I use sometimes when it feels appropriate in a service…

There’s so many interesting aspects of being a celebrant – hearing people’s life stories can be fascinating, and one part that I enjoy hearing when meeting a family to talk about their loved one, is stories from childhood and younger days, especially if those days are in a different era to ones I’ve lived in – there’s just something about the nostalgia.

Of course, it’s always wonderful to hear the happy memories from those who were with them at the time, or the stories they always told their family – of childhood days spent playing outside making their own fun; tales of escapades and mischief. Or in their teenage years and early adulthood – memories of ‘good old fashioned ‘courting’ or time spent with friends; going to the ‘pictures’ or dance halls, with stiffened underskirts and stockings, or perhaps they didn’t have them and had to improvise, as young ladies often did.

Sometimes these memories are prompted when I ask where they went to school, but I do make a point of asking about childhood memories. I tend to ask if they enjoyed school or what their strengths were. On more than one occasion, I’ve reframed it – did they go, did they not?!

That’s because I’ve heard many a tale of not going to school, or turning up for register and disappearing, a far cry from the modern technology we now have whereby I can log on to an app and see that my child has been registered in every single lesson of the day and you can bet I’d be getting a phone call if she didn’t turn up. I often find this opens the door for a conversation about funny stories and it’s these that can help break the ice early on in a service and lift the tone.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve heard some brilliant early life and school anecdotes. Today, I did a service for a 93 year old, who I’ve met, but oh I wish I’d known her properly!! She attended a service I delivered just over 3 years ago, and the cheeky lady tried to book me for hers…I said I wasn’t taking bookings, but as it was, she got her wish. What a character! So many funny stories throughout her life but her family said, when she was young, she was a little bu**er!

There was no other word for it, she used to take herself home from school every break and lunchtime and her mum would have to take her back! She was what was often referred to as a ‘tom boy’ (always being careful with language when I say that, times change) she was always outside; her mum would tell them to go out or she’d find them a job to do. She was always dishevelled compared to her sisters, and she used to sit in the middle of the road near her house and her older sister would tell on her!

I have a service coming up for a lady who would be sent to collect the food ration, and she’d eat the cheese on the way home! A family I worked with a few weeks ago said he hardly went to school, he used to spend more time jumping over the wall and collecting golf balls from the course next door and selling them back for a few pence, and when he was older, he’d go off to the scrap yard and tinker with cars instead!

A family I visited this week said he used to climb up onto the roof of the house to avoid going to school! And a few months ago, I remember a lady told me that she and her sister used to secretly smoke in their outside toilet, and one day, their dad pulled them up on it – turns out, he’d spotted the red mark on the white-washed walls where they struck the matches!

It’s not always happy memories of course and it’s never right to be disingenuous or to get too misty eyed when the reality was harsh; there’s many a story of hardship, and my take on it is that in those cases, whilst we don’t want to dwell on the misery, it feels right to acknowledge the difficulties they faced and what different times they lived through. It might offer some perspective and gratitude for things we might be fortunate enough to have now.

Sometimes we don’t have access to these stories and memories – perhaps they didn’t really talk to their family about certain parts of their life or there may not be anyone around who has those memories. But occasionally it’s a case of reminding their family that it’s nice to talk about any, and all parts of their life at the funeral, not just what they were like or what they did in the latter part, that it’s good to remember that “they were young once”.

And let me tell you, it’s always the childhood pictures that get me all choked up – if there’s a music and photo tribute during the service with precious old photographs in, or on the service sheets, if there’s going to be a lump in the throat that’s when it will be.

05/05/2025

IT COMES TO US ALL IN THE END

It's Dying Matters Week this week - unless your feed looks like mine, you might not have seen it, if you have, and it's flooded, I apologise, I won't be posting repeatedly, but wanted to share these events that the Kirkwood have posted.

Talking about death, dying and funerals isn't easy, but it can make things easier in the long run, or eventually, which is hopefully, after a good and long innings.

Arranging a funeral where the person has made some of the decisions or expressed choices is bittersweet and poignant, but it can ease just a small amount of the burden of all the choices to be made.

If someone's picked out their music - that's that sorted - how lovely, it's exactly what they wanted.

If someone said "I don't want it to be miserable, don't wear black" then that's another decision made - no one else needs to make that call.

If someone said "I'd like my ashes to be taken to our favourite place, don't bury them in a cemetery or leave me on the mantel piece" - that might offer some strength when carrying out what is hard to do and a big decision to make.

"It's what they wanted" is surely the best reason.

I've led lots of funerals where the music was hand picked. I had a service last week where two of the tracks were sung by the man himself. Just beautiful.

I've read letters and notes from the person, and I've seen women only carry the person into the room, exactly as they had asked for, and I've led services for people, who having had the misfortune to need my services before, had asked for me to do the same for them. What an honour.

Whatever aspect it is, however big or small, what a treasure that is.

My auntie talked about hers. I wanted to cover my ears and bury my head. She wrote down the things we needed to know and that she wanted to make sure we included. She spoke to the funeral director she'd known from way back through her work and who carried out her mum and dad and my dad's funerals. She picked her music, and gave instructions about the flowers. She wanted me to do the service. We didn't want it be happening.

In some ways, I think it's harder making those choices when we knew they had to be made. Maybe doing it when life feels good, will be less painful. Maybe that's the trick, who knows.

It is hard, but it is so worthwhile.

25/04/2025

SOOTHING TONES (!!)

When families and mourners leave a service and pay a compliment, it's always so lovely to hear.

I had two very difficult services today, I'll come back to that, but the positive comments that I received afterwards mean so much.

At the afternoon service, a lady said to me "It was very soothing, very comforting, and very genuine." How incredibly lovely, and slightly different, to hear.

To think that in her eyes I pitched what was an incredibly difficult service right, is really comforting to me, especially, truthfully, in a week where amongst everything else going on, I've managed to overthink myself again and doubt myself.

Here's the slightly humerous twist of irony - after surviving the entire winter season without succumbing to the winter cough...this week, I've had a bit of a dry and sore throat and tickly cough. I've got by on Halls Soothers (other throat sweets are available).

Last week I wrote about the fear of quiet patches in self employment...this week was the fear of the tickly cough when you earn a living in public speaking!!

Prepped with Halls Soothers, tiny tic tacs on standby under the lectern, the standard drink of water ready, and maybe a dose of sheer luck, somehow I made it through, but I think my tones have become gradually more dulcet as the week has gone on?! Whatever it was, how touching to hear that she found it 'soothing'. I'll take that!!

It's been a week of heavy emotions in the services I've done, for different reasons, but of course, with every service I do, whatever the circumstances, a family has lost a loved one.

Yesterday, I worked with a lovely family that I first met in January of this year. Two losses in such a short space of time is tough beyond words, yesterday must have been like a deja-vu blur for them.

Today; this morning and then this afternoon, two mothers sat in front of their daughter's coffins...these weren't 'child' deaths, but those mothers have lost their daughters way too soon and that's a pain that only they can understand.

This morning, her only son, bravely delivered his own tribute, so did her niece and her boss. Everyone in the room was still in shock at what has happened.

This afternoon, the children of the lady we were there for - both still at university and collage, sat there utterly shattered. I've said before that there's times I've fought back the lump in my throat either during or after a service. Today was one of those times because of the circumstances - they were very very close to home...almost identical really and I felt it so much...felt so much for her children, for their grandma, for all of them.

In that moment, 21 year old me wanted to hold her children and just cry, 41 year me knows they're both forever changed by this, but there's so much life for them to live.

I have to come home and try to focus on the notion that I've done the best I could for those families, as I do with every single family I work with. I can't become consumed, it wouldn't be fair to anyone.

But these moments serve as as reminder, not that we or I need it, that grief never goes away, we just learn to carry it better.

You might think that doing this would upset me every single day, but I think it's made me stronger, it's helped me to carry it all. And I hope everyone carrying their own losses finds their own strength, in their own way, in their own time.

18/04/2025

THE DOUBLE EDGE SWORD OF THE SELF-EMPLOYED

So, here’s a thing – one that isn’t easy to talk about, especially in this field….but, I’m kind of about that…I’ll get to it, but hold on. Being self-employed can be a blessing and a curse, that’s probably no secret.

There’s the flexibility - no commitment, no contract, nothing to stop you doing anything; you can book a holiday, take a day off, choose who to work with (or not). The flip side is that (I reference my own situation here) you have no security either, no one owes you anything (work I mean, hopefully not money!), loyalty is one thing, but it isn’t contractual, and it isn’t monetary. Things can change quickly in business.

Being self-employed can be wonderfully freeing, exciting, even exhilarating at times, but it can also be scary, occasionally terrifying, it can be lonely (see my last post) and it can be UNPREDICTABLE.

And the next level up from that comes, and here it is, the slightly taboo bit, 'THE QUIET PATCHES'....😬The lulls can sometimes be welcomed, but when it turns into 'THE FEAR', then it’s no longer fun. Back me up please if you’ve felt the fear of the self-employment?!

How very awkward and crass it could seem to talk about such things, to talk business, rather than subject matter in this field. I truly hope no one would ever think that people like me aren’t very aware of the sensitivities of what we do, or doubt that we care deeply, and take it very seriously.

We aren’t wishing for anything other than to do a good job and to be successful, in circumstances that we don’t control – you know what I mean don’t you??! We aren’t hoping for THAT to happen, that goes without saying, but if we are asked to help when it does, we’re very grateful.

The reality is that we're running a business, to support ourselves and our families, so there has to be a business side to what we do – we have to be aware of how things are going, we have to track our work and reflect on whether it’s going well, or not, and consider how we can change, build, evolve.

I’ve found in THE GIG INDUSTRY there can be a fine line between the joy and relief that a brief lull can bring, and the panic. There’s a sort of hazy bit, between confidence in what you’ve created, what you’ve done before, the patterns you’ve created….and the yet to come, the unpromised, the ‘what if it doesn’t come’, ‘what if it falls apart?!’

In my time doing this, I know I’ve grown and changed, whereas once, I could go from chilled to panic mode quicker than a kid can scoff an Easter Egg on Sunday, I know I’m better at not doing that now. As my business has grown, my confidence in my ability and what I’ve created has grown, and my work levels have grown to the point that I often welcome a brief quiet patch, to draw breath and catch up.

But I know I’m not immune. And it is how you feel and how you react in those quiet patches that is perhaps the proof of the pudding.

This month has been a weird month for me...I have absolutely no problem saying that. It was steady, and at times slow, as we headed from March into April. I had less than usual booked in at the start of the month, and yet I somehow ended up unable to take services that I was asked to on about half a dozen occasions in the last month or so, which in a quieter month, is very frustrating indeed. The good old LAW OF SOD!

By the middle of the month, I was fairly resigned to having a ‘below average month’, in comparison to my current averages. And yet, go back just 12 months, and it would actually have been a good month. Perspective can help. A little flurry of activity this week has seen it turn out to be average, numbers wise, but it’s strange how the way the work comes in can make you feel about it all.

The funny thing is, it’s the Easter Holidays, had I been throng on, I would have actively booked some time out for myself, as I did in February. The way things played out, I didn’t need to – last week I had no services…..NO SERVICES…I cannot tell you the last time I had no services in a week, unless we’ve been away on holiday. I had five visits, so I was working, but I also had the chance to spend some time quality time with my children, which was really lovely. This week has been steady – bit of work and play, wonderful.

The reason the fear hit me this month, is because I know where the change has been in my business…and it’s the feeling that this could be a period of evolution for me that made me reflect a little – I’m going to go with 'reflect' not 'panic' !!

So, before I beat myself up about slipping back into old thinking habits, that’s the explanation to myself. What will May bring? We shall see. I promised I would see what May brought before panicking!

Tell me your thoughts if you work in gig industry section of self-employment!! How do you feel in those unexpected quiet patches? Do you even get them?! Tell me I’m not the only one who gets THE FEAR?!

Oh, and, have happy and peaceful Easter 😘

Death, funerals and me

23/07/2025

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09/07/2025

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27/06/2025

20/06/2025

11/06/2025

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