Clear Water Therapy

01/01/2026

I tried something new and found it really helpful so thought I’d share…

Sometimes I find it difficult to think of short terms goals.

A friend of mine asked me last week what I wanted to achieve in ‘23, what did I want to do, what would make me happy??

I surprised myself by coming up completely blank, I had absolutely no idea…

what do I want most in my future, and how could I possible create this when I have no idea, even loosely what I want most.

So I journaled on it.

I asked myself what did I want 1 year from now, 5 years from now, 10 years from now and even 20 years from now. I thought how can I ever know that when I’m not clear what I want tomorrow….

So I started at 20 years, I wrote down what age I would be, what age my children would be and I thought about how I wanted to feel. I considered how I wanted to spend my time. And I got curious about who I would want my life to be shared with.

Then I worked backwards.

It’s quite incredible how much easier your goals become when you think about the steps you would need to take in reverse.

If your struggling with clarity, if you feel overwhelmed and not quite sure about where your going next, give it a try.

It’s so much more interesting when you get curious about your journey 💕

31/12/2025

Thank you to the people who made me smile, for the moments that warmed my heart, for every word of encouragement, for the excitement, the adventures, the travel and for the moments of peace I'd searched a lifetime for.

To me for letting go of what I had the loose on the way, for the tears that flowed, for the honesty I had to face and the pain that came with acknowledging the reality of the things I never should have had to face. For every time I let myself be vulnerable and for holding boundaries that came with discomfort but were essential in my quest to honour my own sense of worth.

Thank you for the unconditional love I have received from my favorite people. I appreciate being on this crazy journey we call life with you by my side.

And to you who got this far thank you for being here with me, for every like, every comment and every piece of support people have offered along the way. You will never really know the impact you have had.

To my clients for being vulnerable, doing the work and trusting me to walk beside you as you do. Thank you for being part of my journey and letting me be part of yours.

Much love and warmest wishes
Gemma ❤️



On the stroke of midnight tonight, you can resolve to be better, if you like…
to be fitter,
to be healthier,
to work harder.

On the stroke of midnight tonight,
you can resolve to become a whole new you,
if you so choose.

Or, you can take a moment to acknowledge what you already are.
All that you already are.
Because it’s a lot.
You’re a lot.

And you deserve to be seen.

On the stroke of midnight tonight perhaps you could congratulate yourself, for coping.
For breaking, again,
and for rebuilding, again.

For catching the stones life has thrown at you,
and for using them to build your castle that little bit higher.

You have endured my friend.

And I don’t see the need to resolve to become a whole new you,
when you are already so very much indeed.

Happy new year.

You made it.

~ words by Donna Ashworth

30/12/2025

Over the years I’ve contemplate a lot about my life, my choices and my habits. I’ve refocused and made decisions about how I best push myself and look after me and those have shifted and changed as I’ve grown.

I’m not one for resolutions, instead I much prefer to do this regularly, reflecting, adapting and working in the present with short term goals that feel more manageable to me.

Here is a challenge for you, can you get into the habit of doing something for YOU each day.

Start with the next 5 days, see how you get on…

That could look like a warm drink cuddled up under a blanket, a chapter of a book you really want to read but never find the time for, listening to your favourite playlist, taking a bath or lighting a candle. Going for a walk in nature, doing some yoga or exercise. Maybe it’s colouring, doing something mindful, creating something, cooking or baking. Perhaps it’s singing or dancing. Or maybe it’s journaling or calling a friend for a good old chat.

It can be anything at all, that’s the beauty of it!!

The only condition is it must be FOR YOU, only you and no one else.

How often do you do things for others, make time for what someone else needs but remain too busy or too tired for yourself.

It’s not selfish to make time and keep energy back, you’re the main character of your story and you won’t have anything to give if you can’t give to yourself first.

Small steps help you to create new habits which will result in you being able to show up as a fuller and happier version of yourself in the other areas of your life that mean the most to you; family, friendships, work.

Wouldn’t it be fabulous to be a priority, to feel loved and valued in your day?

So start loving and valuing yourself by making you a priority on your to do list.

Things don’t change on their own, it takes time and perseverance but you will get there with one small step each day.

Score your mood out of 10 before and after, notice if you felt better, indifferent or worse.

Choose yourself this week, one small thing everyday for 5 days, you can do it 💕

29/12/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1bDrkRpwLC/

Why Leaving Does Not End It

One of the biggest myths about narcissistic abuse is that leaving is the finish line.

It isn’t.

Leaving is often the moment the abuse changes shape.

People expect relief when they leave.
They expect peace.
They expect the chaos to stop.

Instead, many are shocked to find that the behavior escalates, mutates, or follows them into new arenas of their life.

This is not because you did something wrong.
It’s because leaving removes their primary source of control.

A narcissist does not experience separation as loss.
They experience it as a threat.

When you leave, you are no longer available to regulate their emotions, validate their identity, or absorb their shame.
That creates a psychological injury they cannot tolerate.

So they respond the only way they know how.

They try to regain control.

Sometimes that looks like hoovering.
Sudden apologies.
Declarations of love.
Promises of change.
A version of them you recognize from the beginning.

Other times it looks like punishment.
Smear campaigns.
Threats.
Legal pressure.
Relentless messages.
Playing the victim to anyone who will listen.

The goal is the same.
Re-engagement.

Any reaction from you confirms that they still matter.
Any explanation gives them access.
Any defense gives them something to push against.

This is why silence often feels dangerous at first.
You’re used to responding.
You’re used to managing their emotions.
You’ve been trained to believe that calm depends on you.

But silence is not cruelty.
Silence is containment.

When you don’t engage, the behavior becomes clearer.
The patterns become more obvious.
The predictability becomes undeniable.

They repeat the same accusations.
They use the same phrases.
They cycle through the same emotional strategies.

Because there is no depth behind it.
No insight.
No self-reflection.

Just programming.

Leaving doesn’t end it because the abuse was never about proximity.
It was about power.

And power doesn’t disappear just because you walk away.
It dissolves slowly, when it is consistently denied fuel.

This is why documentation matters.
Why boundaries matter.
Why calm matters.
Why understanding the pattern matters.

Not so you can fight them.
But so you stop being pulled back into the illusion that there is something to fix.

There isn’t.

Leaving is not a single act.
It’s a process of disengagement.
Of clarity.
Of reclaiming your nervous system.
Of forgiving yourself for staying as long as you did.

The end does not come when they stop trying.
It comes when their behavior no longer controls your internal state.

And that is something you build, not something they grant.

If you’re still being contacted after leaving, it doesn’t mean you failed.
It means you disrupted a system that depended on your participation.

And systems always resist collapse before they fall apart.

28/12/2025

As I read this post in my memories today I reflected that 5 years have passed since this moment. I am reminded that a glance back can really show us how far we have come.

Learning to let go and find comfort in reality as it is rather than how you hoped it might be shifts your whole energy, thus changing your behaviours and even the people who surround you.

I anticipate that the year ahead, much like the years past will challenge me to face more change and perhaps big adjustments. Yet now I find peace as I look forward with trust in my heart that whatever twist life may have for the next chapter I know I will face it as it comes.

What is life if it doesn't challenge us and change.

I often find at this time of year I collect my thoughts, as the year end approaches I sit quietly and allow myself space. The middle bit has always been a favourite time of mine.

I’ve thought a lot in recent weeks and months;

“𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙄 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚...”🤔💭

In the past I may have looked to the future with ambition and so much pace time would merge without a chance to stop and breathe.

Reflection isn’t something I look back at and believe I was in the habit of practising, to be truthful I’m not sure I reflected in helpful ways at all.

But I’m not that girl anymore and realise now that reflection is the foundation of growth. Not the type of growth that offers the superficial spotlight but the kind that happens deep within us, shifting our world and changing who we are.

This year I’ve learnt to let go of that what no longer serves me.

Letting go is something that I’m not accustomed to and yet this year I’ve let go of people, expectation, relationships, ideals, outdated beliefs and a false sense of control.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙤 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩.

I’ve learnt that it’s in holding on to what’s not meant for us, or the idea of what should be, that we are met with only sadness, disappointment and pain.

The act of surrendering and letting go liberates us, freeing up space in our lives for new more helpful thoughts, feelings, behaviours. Without letting go we can’t expect to alter our relationships, shift our patterns or feel happiness and contentment within ourselves.

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧????

𝙊𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙤 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙... 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨. 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙨 2020 𝙩𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙡𝙨𝙚??

𝙄’𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 💕

The other thing I learnt this year was contentment in the small details, to have gratitude and appreciation for simply being with my family, seeing my girls laugh and sitting in my own space.

It’s not about the places we go or the things we do. It really is about loving what we already have and letting go of what we perceive ourself to be lacking. Everything we need is within us ###

📸 Clear Photography

27/12/2025

Here is your reminder that in the upcoming weeks, you're probably going to see a lot of people posting their "highlight reel".

The big wins, best moments and what they resolve for their future self. It's ok if your biggest accomplishment was simply surviving.

Reflecting on difficulties positively is a beautiful and wonderful thing to do but if you’re finding it all a little overwhelming just press pause.

Stay true to yourself, recognise your pain and acknowledge your progress. Remember that progress looks different to us all and changes over time.

Letting go of expectation and comparison will help you to welcome peace and acceptance for yourself and your situation. Try to surrender, take a moment, breathe deeply, get clear.

Much Love 💕

26/12/2025

I'm sharing this post today 2 years further down the path of my own journey.

I'm sharing it again because if it resonates and supports one single person working through their own pain, then my own vulnerability has done some good.

I think about this pivotal moment regularly in fact it may have become the catalyst to my trajectory over the time that followed.

Being on the journey means honouring your truth. Perhaps that means loosing parts of you that your not supposed to take with you as you moved forward.

Its ok the grieve this.

Trust that so long as your intentions stay pure, that you keep challenging yourself to be vulnerable and opening yourself up in the places that offer safety then your journey is more likely to take you to the places you eventually hope to reach.

Remember progress doesn't always feel easy, sometimes its hard, sometimes its messy, sometimes its ugly crying and making mistakes. This is true for me too.

Being alone is a challenge for me, and sharing so feels incredibly vulnerable.

In time I’ve come to realise that it’s not the act of being in my own company that’s the issue, but rather the thoughts and feelings associated to this.

It’s a pre conceived idea of what it means to be alone that causes me the pain.

In the past, and at times even the present, I too often find that I measure my own happiness based on who I have around me. I rely on others to show up for me in the ways I crave the most and in doing so I all too often fail to show up for myself.

This can look like lacking boundaries, feeling disappointed and accepting things even when they aren’t what I want, need or deserve.

In a bid to distinguish the difference between the feelings and thoughts I have of being alone, and embracing my own company, I’ve been taking steps to move out of my comfort zone more regularly. Today I decided to set time aside to take myself out on a date to the cinema. This is something I would never have dreamed of doing not so long ago.

But why am I’m sharing this with you?

Well I hope to acknowledge that navigating the way through our biggest fears and pains is some of the hardest work we will do in our lifetime.

We are all a working progress.

I’m telling you in the hope that you might recognise, regardless of what you find most difficult in your life, that challenging perspective and where this comes from can help you to come up with new ways to care for yourself.

On my best days I embrace how I feel, I challenge my thinking and I acknowledge the ways I cope. I look for ways to replace what’s destructive in my patterns and rather I aim to do things that will help me to build myself and grow.

Do I achieve this everyday? No.

But I consistently bring myself back to reflect, forgive and challenge. I remind myself that I don’t only show up for myself on my good days, and I don’t always fail myself in my worst moments.

I am learning to love me, without shame. And yes some days are easier than others.

25/12/2025

Wishing you one thing to be grateful for ❤️

Merry Christmas and thank you.
Love where it’s needed xx

24/12/2025

Christmas is the tenderness of the past, the value of the present and the hope of the future. (Agnes M. Pharo)

Yet it can feel quite different for many people, for many different reasons. Wherever you are with that know that it’s ok to feel as your do. Remember to take care of yourself in any and every way you can over the holidays.

Everything passes. Joy. Pain. The moment of triumph; the sigh of despair. Nothing lasts forever - not even this. (Paul Stewart)

If your struggling this Christmas don’t be alone;

NHS 111

https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-support/mental-health-services-at-nhs-24/

Samaritans 116123

https://www.samaritans.org/?currency=EUR

Sending you strength and warm wishes, you are a great human and deserve to show yourself love.

Merry Christmas to you all 🫶
Gemma xx

23/12/2025

“Christmas is the tenderness of the past, believing in the present and having hope for the future. It’s the most sincere desire that each heart be filled with love and that our journey will lead us to peace.”

I received this beautiful note from my dad this week & it seemed too special not to share 💕

I truly want to thank each and everyone of you for being here with me, supporting me in my journey and receiving my teachings in ways that I hope helps to improve your life in some small way.

Sending so much love and wishes for a warm and loving Christmas to you all. 💕

20/12/2025

you can, you should and you must keep going

Samaritans 116 123
Breathing Space 0800 83 85 87
Childline 0800 1111
Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline 0800 027 1234
Women’s Aid 0131 561 5800

20/12/2025

Things can feel hard sometimes. You can feel lonely. There are times when we get stuck in the routine of life and forget to take a step back. Times when we are burdened by our troubles and can’t seem to find the light.

A young person once said to me…

“life is like a snow globe, often it’s prettiest after it’s been turned upside down“

And I am reminded how wonderfully resilient and adaptable we are 🫶