27/11/2025
Lately, I’ve seen a lot of conversations online where harmful comments from “a long time ago” are brushed off as banter or “different times.”
From a trauma and nervous-system perspective, it doesn’t really work like that.
True banter is only banter when everyone involved understands there is no malice.
If one person is laughing and the other is shrinking, confused, frightened, humiliated, or made small- that’s not banter.
That’s harm.
And the body knows the difference.
Our nervous systems are hard-wired for survival.
When we experience shame, ridicule, exclusion, or threat, no matter the decade, our bodies store it as information:
🧠 “This isn’t safe.”
🧠 “I need to protect myself.”
And these patterns can shape how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and how safe we feel in the world, even years or decades later.
This isn’t about judging the past.
It’s about understanding the impact that words and actions leave behind.
Harm doesn’t expire just because time has passed.
PTSD wouldn't be a thing otherwise!