This might strike you as hard to believe, but I have never really had confidence on the inside.
I have spent a lot of my life performing - dancing, singing, attempting to play musical instruments, then later, in my twenties, gigging in bands. And then again - even as a teacher - I have always enjoyed being in the limelight. Somehow I just feel at home and comfortable with attention being on me.
However, whilst I have always been confident on the surface, below the surface there resided another story...
I have never really had any idea about who I am.
There was a time in my early twenties when simply being in my own company could bring on a panic attack. I have never had any idea about what it was that I, personally, needed, or even wanted. My whole life has been shaped by other people’s desires. I went to music college, not really because of a burning desire to be a musician, but more because I felt it was cool, and people might like me more. It sounds crazy, but I seem to remember it was a school friend who suggested I’d make a good frontwoman for a band, and I just went with it, thereby forgoing A Levels and the conventional path to “success”. Cycle to Africa? Well, I couldn’t have predicted that, either. I didn’t even like cycling that much.
In relationships, I had a pretty awful time in my twenties. I literally suffocated them, with my lack of ability to take care of my own needs. I was like a puppy, always waiting in the wings for my partner to be available. In 2012, I began to practice meditation, and yoga. It was kind of a weird thing for me to do, and felt entirely new, just doing something on my own. I’ve been working away at this for eight years, and gradually I have come to understand that it is important, in a relationship, to give each other space.
But you know, it wasn’t until recently, through my experience of RTT, that I just got it. Through RTT, I was able to identify some limiting beliefs that I had been holding on to since childhood - hidden away in my subconscious. They were all about not being worthy, not being lovable, and success and money not being available to me.
It has honestly been incredible to see the transformation that I have been through in the past twelve months. It’s like a switch has been flicked on, and suddenly I can see myself in a new light. Free of the limiting beliefs that were stored in my subconscious; I now feel worthy. I feel eminently lovable, and I’ve done away with the silly idea that ANYthing is not available. Now I know I am worthy. I can make time for myself. I can take myself off and soak in the bath by candlelight. Don’t get me wrong, I used to do these things - I had got better over time, but somehow since being a mother I had slipped way back down, and was habitually putting everyone’s needs but my own, first.
Over the last ten years I have done a lot, consciously, to be the best person I can be. But it wasn’t until I did the subconscious work through RTT, that things really started to change.
And now? Hell, I feel a million dollars! When I look in the mirror, I smile, sometimes even laugh - because I feel good! I damn well know my worth! I’m finally doing a job that is aligned with my best self, and pushes me to my edge, which is the only way of ensuring constant growth. I am charging my worth, and taking good care of myself. My newfound sense of worth is having an impact on EVERYTHING. Decisions are easier to make, priorities are clearer. People are noticing... And suddenly something has dawned on me... Before, I had confidence on the outside, but now I have confidence on the inside, too. I feel so resilient. Unstoppable. Unshakeable. I have unlocked my TRUE CONFIDENCE. :-)
And do you know what the best bit is? I am so honoured that I get to help others on this journey too. :-D
Send me a message to arrange your free 20 minute discovery call today!
