27/01/2026
I promise to remove mud and dry up before my classes start again in a couple of weeks!
🌧️ The "I Live in a Swamp Now" Survival Guide
Since we’ve clearly traded our stables for an underwater research facility, here are the new rules of engagement.
Step 1: The Archaeological Dig. ⛏️ Grooming is no longer about "shine." It is a high-stakes excavation project to find out if there is actually a horse underneath that 4-inch layer of crusty January mud.
Step 2: Forget Fashion. 👢 If your wellies don’t reach your hips and your coat doesn’t make you look like a giant poofy marshmallow, you’re doing it wrong. Bonus points if you lose a welly to the "Paddock Suction" and have to finish your chores in one sock...
Step 3: Waterproof Your Waterproofs. 🧥 We all know "waterproof" is just a lie manufacturers tell us to make us feel better for the first 15 minutes. Invest in heavy-duty overalls or just accept your fate as a human sponge.
Step 4: Adopt the "Otter" Philosophy. 🦦 If your horse decides to roll in the only standing pool of water in a their local radius immediately after being turned out, do not scream. Simply breathe and remember: they are now an aquatic mammal and are slowly developing gills.
Step 5: The "Is This a Puddle or an Abyss?" Game. 🕳️ Never trust a puddle in the arena or elsewhere. It could be an inch deep, or it could be a portal to another dimension.
Pro-Tip: If you see your horse wearing a snorkel (like the legends in this picture), don’t ask questions. Just hop on and start practicing your "Underwater Equitation."
