Inside Out Wellness Services

21/11/2024

Viktor Frankl once said that, "Choice is the last great human freedom." Choose a positive, loving and empowering mindset and the world changes before your eyes. Do the opposite and don't be surprised at the world you've created to live in.

19/11/2024

IDENTITY THEFT – GIVING AWAY YOUR SELF-WORTH

Identity theft is a terrible crime that causes loss and heartache. In the UK, it is reported that in 2023:

• Criminals stole £1.17 billion through unauthorised and authorised fraud
• Banks prevented a further £1.25 billion of unauthorised fraud through advanced security systems.

However, there is an even more insidious form of identity theft that has scarred people’s lives and has caused them to forget who they are and has people believing that they are small, limited and powerless.

These are denials of your true self and an assertion of a false you.

This form of insidious theft of your identity began soon after you arrived on Earth. Parents, teachers, siblings, clergy and authority figures told you that you are inept, insignificant, ugly, stupid, worthless, unworthy, and sinful and that the world is a dangerous jungle with threats at every turn.

Over time, you begin to believe these terrible lies until the day comes when you forget your innate beauty, strength, innocence, and safety. Eventually, you adopt an identity contrary to your divine nature and may have since lived as someone you are not.

The truth is, despite the naysayers and the judges of your intentions, choices and character, you have more beauty inside than you can imagine. And somewhere, in the deepest recesses of your lovely heart and soul, there is a still small voice whispering the undeniable truth that you are loved more than you can know, and you are, and always have been and will be – enough.

So, cast aside the self-doubt, the self-judging voice and the limitations you and others place on you. If faith can indeed move mountains, imagine what a little faith in yourself might achieve. Your belief in your potential is the key to unlocking your true identity and self-worth.

Indeed, look at where you are now and remember what amazing things you have done to survive and thrive. You have overcome challenges, disappointments, heartache, and struggle to get here. Your past achievements are a testament to your strength and resilience.

Perhaps now is the time to give the giant inside you a nudge and take the first step towards reclaiming your real identity and self-worth.

www.iowellness.co.uk

24/05/2024

Always learning...

08/03/2024

A SIMPLER LIFE

In 1973, Gladys Knight and The Pips released a song that was to become a classic music track. The song was called Midnight Train to Georgia.

Essentially, it tells the story of a man who is disillusioned with Tinseltown and decides to return home to his roots. Buried within the track are the lyrics, "... Said he's going back to find, ... going back to find, a simpler place and time."

To me, the simpler place and time are best reflected in when we were children. A time when curiosity and fun were natural states. A time when fashion, Facebook likes, updating Insta', prejudice, and fear did not form or dictate our interaction with the world.

There was a time when it was more natural to have mud, dirt, jam, worms and books welded to our hands than a mobile phone or iPad.

A time when giving and receiving affection, empathy, kindness, and outbursts of unbridled happiness and excitement were unencumbered by the adult conventions of defence mechanisms, social anxiety, embarrassment, or a fear of rejection.

Of course, I accept that many did not have the version of a childhood I’ve described. Equally, I will hold my hands up and admit that my childhood was of a different time.

Notwithstanding, there is an emerging (some might say a critical) need for us to slow down and consider how we might be complicating our lives and those of the next generation.

Like the protagonist in the Gladys Knight song, who needed to break away from what was hurting and disillusioning him, we too may wish to consider detaching from old ways of working (presenteeism), assessing (judging ourselves), thinking (negatively), acting (selfishly), comparing (ourselves with others), wanting (stuff we don’t need), and striving (for things that don’t matter).

The Buddhists say that attachment is the source of all suffering. And suffering can be found in fear, ego and loss - all debilitating characteristics of the human psyche. So, I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that we can move towards a simpler and more peaceful life by detaching from the above.

I’ll leave the last word to another character, this time from a film. George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life enthuses to his Uncle Billy, “You know what the three most exciting sounds in the world are? Anchor chains, plane motors, and train whistles.”

I’ve already caught my train to a simpler life - I hope you catch yours too!

05/02/2024

11/09/2023

I'm very excited to be delivering a FREE workshop at Whitley Bay Library, on the 6th October 10:00-12:30. Places are limited, so book your place if you want to hear about how your mind-body connection influences your health, wellbeing and happiness.

23/08/2023

Since a boy, I’ve loved visiting churches, kirks and cathedrals. The older - the better. My first excursion as a boy was to a small Saxon-built church in Boarhunt, Hampshire. It was built sometime before the Battle of Hastings in 1066 and remains, to this day, my favourite.

Notwithstanding, yesterday, I was in the Northumbrian market town of, Alnwick and yes; I was visiting a church. And as I walked through the cemetery, I noticed most of the inscriptions on the 350-year-old gravestones used the word ‘beloved’.

The 14th century entomology of beloved is, “greatly loved” and/or “dear to the heart.” It’s a powerful word full of heart-centric emotion.

And I got to thinking, I wonder if all those long-departed souls in the graveyard when alive, felt greatly loved? By this, I mean, were they shown they were beloved through kind words, gracious acts, and moments of tenderness and honesty. Did they feel befriended, unjudged and accepted?

And at the time of their burial, did those mourning by the graveside wish they had more frequently shown their respect, admiration, and love when they were alive? To let them know, they were beloved? I hope so.

And it’s the same for us.

Despite our busy lives, I hope that you are letting those you care about know that they are beloved. After all, we are not promised a tomorrow and so it seems to make sense to share our feelings of love in the here and now.

Too often, I have met people who are mourning a friend or family member and who ask rhetorically, “I wonder if they knew how special or loved they were?” This seems a terrible testimonial for someone when alive, most definitely should have known they were beloved.

By a graveside or indeed at any time, I feel that is a question, which should never to be asked.

My strong belief is it is better to say, “They left us, knowing they were totally loved.” In this way, no matter what the pain or sorrow of someone passing, one might be able to faithfully embrace the observation of Tennyson’s poem, ‘In Memorium’:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all

So, may I ask you not to lose any opportunity to let those close to you know, that they are respected, cherished, and beloved.

10/07/2023

CHARTING YOUR COURSE IN LIFE

On long sea passages, the Royal Navy replenishes ships by using a mechanism called, Replenishment at Sea. This sees the warship and a supply vessel run a parallel course while 25 metres feet apart, and travelling at 12 knots. Once in position, provisions and fuel are transferred.

On one such occasion, in particularly rough weather and choppy seas, I was at the helm. The wheelhouse, used for steering the ship, is situated in the heart of the ship. This meant, I couldn’t see what the captain could see on the bridge, and he couldn’t see what a beast of a job it was trying to keep the ship on course.

Rough seas make the whole replenishment exercise challenging and risky. Every time the sea pushed the ship closer to the supply ship, the captain would say calmy, but firmly, “Bring her round... bring her round.” Meaning: We are getting much too close!

Each of us have a captain at our helm and it is us. Or, as William Henley once penned, “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

And I believe strongly that emotional pain lands on our doorstep when we do not heed the wisdom of our instinct, intuition and gut feel. Our higher self (The captain), is in touch always with what is best for us.

The instinct that says, ‘leave a relationship, go for a job interview, avoid certain friends, speak to the beggar, stop drinking, protect the reputation of the absent, have faith in yourself, or even ask/offer forgiveness of another.’

I’m sure you get the picture.

So can I urge you, the next time something or someone tries to push you closer to catastrophe or inevitable pain; listen to your instinct. Please don’t allow ego, fear, self-doubt, or peer pressure to place you on a course towards unhappiness.

In other words: believe in you!

And perhaps, the last word to this maritime themed blog, should go to another poet, Robert Deimel. He captures beautifully, the idea that life cannot be controlled... but how we deal with it can.

I am the captain of my ship.
But I’m no master of the seas
I do not choose the skies above
Nor create the wayward breeze
But I choose the heading of my ship
I set the sail and chart the course
But I can’t quell the angry waves nor any storm’s prodigious force.

05/06/2023

IT'S NOT REALLY ABOUT CATCHING FISH - IS IT?

I’m in Tunisia. It’s a heady mix of Africa, Arab and European influence, where the croissant is an easy companion to mint tea and coffee so strong; one cup will meet your caffeine fix for the whole day.

Aromatic and colourful spices fill the Medina’s cramped and ancient stores, where the auditory hubbub of hawkers bartering boldly is a spectacle to watch. In kerbside cafés, men play Backgammon excitedly (and loudly) while sipping treacle-thick coffee. And five times a day, hypnotic calls to prayer confirm the exotic and profoundly religious nature of the place
And then there’s the fishermen. Well, one in particular - Aziz. I met Aziz as he was casting his line out to sea. Attempting to catch, I discover later, supper for his family. Several times he cast his line and several times he reels in an empty hook or clumps of seaweed.

After observing a few failures, “Tres frustrant,” I say, in my somewhat pathetic French.

With a shrug of his shoulders Aziz replied, “Certains le feront: certains ne le feront pas - c’est la vie.”

Now, (French natives please correct me if I’m wrong) but the English translation is something like: ‘Some will - some won’t; that’s life.’

And I thought this philosophy a brilliant way to accept the vagaries of fishing but also; life in general. After all, it is a life maxim that might be applied to most situations.

Too often, the problem is that as humans, we subconsciously demand certainty in an uncertain world. Or in other words, we would prefer the best outcome in all situations because the mind prefers harmony, wherein lies happiness, security and peace.

And in the same way your favourite sporting team won’t always win, or the sun always shine on BBQ’s (well not in England), and your car fails to start on a Winter morning - we are not guaranteed always, the positive outcomes we hope for.
Aziz rested his heart peacefully on the notion that fish are not at the beck and call of a fisherman.

And I believe that if we can follow his example, we too might have a harmonious heart and restful spirit. Outcomes in life are like fickle fish; they are not to be controlled.

Life outcomes lie in uncertain futures and no matter how much we pray, work, strive, want, need, plan or demand a certain outcome: often, it is out of our hands. Simply put: the future cannot be controlled or manipulated. It rests on the horizon beyond any notion of control we feel applies to it.

This current breathing moment is all we may control. How we think, feel and behave. And at some point, we have to accept that all else, is an exercise in hopefulness. Of course, this approach to life requires gratitude, optimism and a keen, and accepting sense of how life is in the habit of being hugely unpredictable.

And isn’t this the point Aziz was making?

Whatever the outcome, whether he catches a fish or not – it is that reality he must attend to. It is not fretting with each cast of his line whether it will be successful.

Because if he is worrying about the outcome, he is failing to be in this moment. And in this moment: there is the expanse of the sea, the warm breeze on the face, the companionship of friends and the contentment of a favourite pastime.

Voltaire’s captured this philosophy admirably with his hugely optimistic character, Candide.

’It is demonstrable,’ said he, ‘that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for the best end.’

And I suppose this is the fundamental point; we must try our very best, no matter what cards are dealt to us, to manage with good grace our circumstances.

And although I do not know whether Aziz caught fish that day, I can guarantee his family would not have gone hungry.

In the end, it was never about catching fish, and Aziz knew that at a very deep and wise level.

22/05/2023

EMPLOYEES DISENGAGED?
LOOK AT YOUR WELLNESS STRATEGY....

Everyone is clear; the modern workforce is under increased pressure. From bottom to top, the challenges facing individuals have been magnified because of social, competitive, recruiting, financial and geo-political work pressures.

The result has seen emotional wellbeing rocket to the top of the corporate agenda. However, being on the agenda and then implementing meaningful wellness solutions has too often in many companies, fallen to the wayside, or just added to HR's pastoral responsibilities.

Unfortunately, this piecemeal approach is ill-considered and ineffective when it comes to tangible benefits to employee engagement.

Equally, those individuals assigned to be Wellness ambassadors in organisations, need more than a caring nature. They require the knowledge and skills to implement an effective Wellness strategy because after all, they are closest to the cultural heartbeat of the business.

The simple fact is, if organisations fail to address Wellness effectively, they shouldn't be surprised by employee disengagement, demotivation and attrition.

Meaningful uplifts in employee engagement are seen when a Wellness strategy becomes a leadership imperative, and not a trendy piece of click bait on corporate websites and marketing collateral.

Closing the gap between a Wellness strategy and its implementation, has never been more important to the productivity and culture of businesses.