Jo - NLP4Kids, Newcastle

24/03/2026

Does anyone else find it harder and harder to find the content that genuinely interests them on their feed? I have to navigate so many posts trying to sell me a course or a gadget to manage my screen but I haven't seen a post from Curious Neuron pop up for ages.

But luckily one did which reminded me to go to the page and see what lovely research summaries were there which might be helpful for me to share with you.

So here is a quick and easy (but still evidence based) explanation of why it is so hard to think under stress. This is one of the most important things to understand when dealing with intense parenting moments. If you are struggling to think straight imagine how your child, with a brain which is both less mature and less experienced, is going to react.

A recent neuroscience review published in Brain, Behavior, & Immunity – Health explains why it can feel harder to think clearly when we are stressed. When the brain detects stress, the body releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.

These chemicals prepare us to react quickly to potential threats, but they also temporarily reduce the activity of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for planning, reasoning, and self-control. At the same time, emotional and habit-based brain systems become more active.

Because of this shift in brain activity, people under stress are more likely to react quickly, rely on habits, and focus on immediate solutions rather than thinking through long-term consequences. In everyday life, this helps explain why stressful moments can lead us to snap, make rushed decisions, or respond in ways we later regret.

The research highlights that managing stress is not just about feeling better. It actually helps the brain access the systems needed for thoughtful, calm decision-making.

Think about the last time you reacted in a way you later regretted with your child. Were you feeling stressed, rushed, or overwhelmed in that moment?

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11061251/pdf/main.pdf

19/03/2026

Over the last week I have finished working with two parenting clients that I have been supporting since the back end of last year.

What has been particularly encouraging is seeing how much both families have taken on board from our conversations. Over time they have grown in confidence and are now able to put things into practice themselves without needing the same level of support.

I think parenting coaching can sometimes feel a bit mysterious from the outside. People understandably wonder what actually changes.

When it is done well, two important things tend to happen.

First, parents become much better at staying calm in the face of situations that previously felt overwhelming.

Second, they become far more tuned in to what is really going on underneath a child’s behaviour, and also to what they themselves need in that moment.

Once those skills start to develop, something interesting happens. Parents realise they can do this without someone sitting beside them guiding every step. The support helps them build their own confidence and judgement.

That does not mean they are simply left to it. Both of these clients know they can come back at any time if a new challenge comes up or if they would like a refresher. Parenting is a long game and every stage brings something new.

What stood out to me with these two families was their willingness to stay open. They were prepared to try approaches that did not necessarily feel natural at first, and they were willing to reflect on their own expectations and assumptions about behaviour.

That kind of curiosity and willingness to grow can make a huge difference to family life.

One of the parents I have just finished working with came for support with her teenage daughter.

The other family had three children, all under five.

Completely different life stages. Completely different challenges.

And yet the same underlying principles helped both families move forward.

Understanding behaviour differently and adjusting expectations can transform the way everyday situations play out at home.

Seeing families reach that point is one of the most rewarding parts of the work. It is a privilege to be part of.

19/03/2026

If your child is not attending school they still have a right to an education. This post sets those rights out really clearly for anyone who is going through this

18/03/2026

As you can probably imagine one of the conversations I have most often is about what exactly is going on which is causing so many children to struggle with going to school.

One issue I don’t hear talked about a lot are seating plans, but this is a significant change in direction since I was at school in the 1980s and 90s. Over the last 20 years strict seating plans have become the norm to help with behaviour or classroom management.

Now I’m not saying that kids haven’t always been moved to manage behaviour, of course they have. But what is different now is that kids are rarely given the trust to choose their seat in the first place.

So why does it matter?

For children experiencing anxiety about school, particularly neurodivergent students, where they sit can make a very real difference to how their brain copes with the school day.

Children with ADHD or autism are often working much harder to manage sensory input and attention. Noise, movement, visual distractions and unpredictable activity all compete for their brain’s resources.

Something as simple as sitting near a busy walkway, a doorway, or a group of chatty classmates can quietly push their nervous system into overload.

From the outside it may look like lack of focus. From the inside it can feel more like trying to concentrate while ten radios are playing at once.

Some students benefit from sitting closer to the teacher, where prompts and reassurance are easier. Others concentrate better in quieter areas of the classroom where there is less visual movement.

If a child’s nervous system is constantly trying to filter out distraction, there is far less capacity left for learning.

And what about the importance of relationships?

Who a child sits next to can influence how safe they feel, how connected they feel, and how willing they are to participate.

For some children, being placed next to a supportive peer can increase confidence and engagement.

For others, being separated from familiar classmates can quietly increase anxiety or make the classroom feel less predictable.

There is also a very common strategy of sitting a quiet child next to a child who is harder to manage. While this might reduce the noise levels what if the child is quiet because they are highly anxious? They might be pushed to the point that they aren’t able to focus at all.

So if your child is struggling this is an important factor to understand. And it might be something that you really have to push for, because giving trust and autonomy to children feels challenging in our current education system.

I work with children for whom this is part of their school support plan and yet it is still often ignored.

But it is something that can be easily put in place, costs nothing, and is easily reversed if it doesn’t help.

Who can argue with that?!

13/03/2026

I know I've been very absent recently from this space recently. This is in part because I have been extremely busy, both professionally and personally.

However I have also recognised that there is another reason. Since the new year I have been making a conscious effort to spend less time online.

The byproduct of this is that I've been missing things that might be important to talk about and share on here.

So as spring has officially sprung my new season's resolution is to try and work on getting the balance right.

To celebrate the beginning of longer days and lighter nights and to brighten your newsfeed here are some beautiful sunrises from the last couple of weeks.

27/01/2026

!!! IMPORTANT - PARENTS IN NORTHUMBERLAND !!!

This survey is not just for parents of children with an EHCP but for all parents who consider their child to have special educational needs, diagnosed or otherwise.

I know how frustrated lots of parents are. This is your opportunity to have your voice heard about services in your area.

Things will only change if we work together to make sure that children's and families' voices are heard by those with the power to change things.

🚨 IMPORTANT: Local Area SEND Inspection – Northumberland 🚨

The Local Area SEND inspection has officially been called for Northumberland.

Ofsted and the Care Quality Commission (CQC) want to hear directly from parents and carers of children and young people with SEND (aged 0–25) about your experiences of support in our area.

🗣️ This is your chance to have your voice heard.
Your views really do matter and will help inspectors understand what’s working well and what needs to change.

📝 Please take a few minutes to complete the survey here:

👉 https://ofsted.smartsurvey.co.uk/p/AreaSend/10382800

⏰ Survey closes at 9am on 3 February 2026
The survey is anonymous and voluntary, but the more responses they receive, the stronger the message from our community

🙏 Please share this post with other parents and carers across Northumberland so no one misses out!

Northumberland Parent Carer Forum 💙

fans

23/01/2026

If your child is struggling with school related anxiety, it can be hard to know what actually helps. When things feel stuck, it is very tempting to tighten the reins. Often, the most supportive steps feel counterintuitive.

A few things that can genuinely make a difference.

1) Encourage outside activities
When school feels overwhelming, children often need more opportunities to feel competent, regulated and successful.

Using clubs, sports or hobbies as an incentive to attend school can backfire. These activities support regulation, confidence and stress release. Removing them can leave a child with less resilience, not more.

Protect time with friends outside of school
When anxiety is high, parents sometimes limit social time to reinforce school attendance. In reality, safe friendships outside of school help children feel less isolated and remind them they are more than their school experience. Connection is a protective factor for mental health, not a reward to be earned.

Focus on connection and calm in the mornings
An anxious child’s nervous system is already working hard. They may not be able to manage the same level of independence or organisation right now.

Reducing demands, offering more support and prioritising calm connection can lower stress and make mornings more manageable for everyone. This is support, not “giving in”.

Talk to school
A child’s sense of safety in school is closely linked to relationships. It is worth asking whether there are ways to strengthen connection with staff or peers. Small adjustments, such as check ins, a trusted adult or supported transitions, can make a meaningful difference.

If this is your reality at the moment, you are not doing anything wrong. Anxiety narrows a child’s capacity, and support works best when it builds safety, connection and regulation rather than pressure.

You do not have to get this perfect. Small, compassionate shifts can have a bigger impact than you might expect.

22/01/2026

Since the start of the year, I have seen a noticeable rise in referrals connected to school related anxiety.

For some children, getting back through the school gates after Christmas has felt overwhelming. For others, worries about tests, expectations, friendships or simply coping with the school day have quietly grown louder.

If this is happening in your family, it is important to know this is not just you.

Schools are trying hard to respond, but many are stretched well beyond capacity. That can leave parents feeling helpless, frustrated and unsupported.

Anxiety often ramps up at times of transition and pressure. A new term, increased academic demands, social expectations, or changes in routine can all tip a child’s nervous system into high alert. When that happens, avoidance, tears, anger or physical complaints are not signs of defiance or weakness. They are signs of a brain that feels under threat and is trying to cope.

Behind the resistance is usually a child who is trying their best with a system that feels too much right now.

You do not have to have all the answers. You do not need to fix this on your own. And you are certainly not failing your child.

Support exists, even when it feels hard to access, and early understanding can make a real difference. Sometimes the most important first step is simply knowing that what you are seeing makes sense.

If school mornings have become a battleground, if worries are spilling over at bedtime, or if your child’s confidence seems to have taken a knock, you are not alone. Many families are navigating this quietly, and many children do find their way back to steadier ground with the right support.

If you are worried, trust that instinct. And please know that you are not the only parent sitting with these concerns right now.

I'll be back tomorrow with some tips to set you on the best path to support your child.

15/01/2026

New year, same neglect of my social media!

I started the year with good intentions but the reality is that there are only so many hours in a day and I will always prioritise the real work first.

Since the start of the new year, I've been inundated with new referrals and I'm doing my absolute best to fit everyone in where I can and as quickly as I can, which means my time is taken up on direct work and the associated admin.

So if you have noticed that I'm quiet at the moment, don't worry I'm still here and as soon as I get a bit of a lull I'll be back to posting more regularly.

Thanks, as always, for your support and patience!

06/01/2026

Burnout recovery is a something I talk about quite often in parenting sessions. This explains it really well. The most important thing is to be patient and be able to spot the tiny signs that you are on the right track. It's scary though and goes against the urge that we often have as parents to put everything we can into "fixing" our child's "problems".

Missing The Mark is a great resource of parents who are experiencing this stage.

The burnout recovery pyramid.

When our children crash out, burnout, breakdown we want to fix it.
We want to make it better.
I mean, what would we look like if we didn’t attempt to do something?

But often in our rush and attention to solutions we miss how much our involvement in them just as they are right now is actually the doing.
Because us being there, taking the time to meet them where they are at is part of recovery, it is repair.

While we might look for others to support this in the beginning when things are fragile others may just be too much.
Cups of tea, chats to the pets might seem like nothing but they could be everything.

So let’s bring the outside in: parcels to peak curiosity, playfulness to lighten or change the tempo, cooking a pile of pancakes and adding toppings for the novelty factor.

Maybe 98% you end up making that Lego build on your own but that 2% of engagement is your glimmer, green shoot.
Write these down, because they are not small, they are massive.

Time is your greatest healer.
And this is yours to repair.
One day it will get better and until then it’s all hands on deck.x

05/01/2026

As the new year arrives, it can bring very mixed feelings. I am conscious this year that a general message of Happy New Year feels quite tone deaf.

For a lot of the families I work with Christmas can be tough. It comes full of expectations, which can be hard to live up to when your child is struggling. Seeing social media posts filled with smiling faces and matching pyjamas can feel like a punch to the gut when your own experience has felt very different.

For those who are grieving, or who are experiencing illness, either themselves or supporting a loved one it can be a particularly painful time of year.

So I’m starting the year by sharing this picture from a little New Year's break I took to London. You might have realised by now that there is nothing I love more than sunsets and sunrises. They are a reminder that every day is a fresh start.

So if things feel tough right now, small steps are enough. One day at a time.

17/12/2025

December isn’t just a busy time for Santa and his elves.

It’s often one of my busiest months for new referrals too. Last year a single post on a couple of local parenting groups led to around five times the usual number of parents getting in touch. This year, I haven’t even posted and I’m still seeing an increase purely through word of mouth.

That tells a story.

By the end of the year, many families are tired. Routines are wobblier, emotions are closer to the surface, and the things that felt manageable in September can suddenly feel much heavier. If something has been quietly building in the background, December often brings it into sharper focus.

‼️You’re not imagining it. And you’re not alone. ‼️

Sometimes, noticing that support is needed is the most important step.

I’ll be off work from Friday for the following two weeks, so if you’ve been planning to get in touch, please do so as soon as possible. I’ll still be checking emails regularly, although responses may be a little slower than usual.

I’m currently fully booked for one to one work with children, but please do get in touch if you would like a place on my waiting list.