Better Me Better Us

11/01/2026

This is such an important read 💛

Child to parent abuse is something that’s still hugely misunderstood and often hidden behind labels like “challenging behaviour” or “bad parenting”.

In reality, it’s often rooted in unmet needs, trauma, attachment disruption, fear and overwhelm, for both the child and the parent.

What really stands out in this piece from the College of Policing is the reminder that families experiencing this are not failing they’re struggling, often in silence. Parents can feel ashamed, blamed or scared to ask for help, while children may not yet have the emotional language or regulation skills to express what’s going on underneath the behaviour.

A trauma- and attachment-focused lens helps us pause and ask:
👉 What has this child learned about safety, power and connection?
👉 What support does this family need — not just to manage behaviour, but to heal relationships?

We need more awareness, more compassion and more joined-up support across policing, education, health and social care so families don’t fall through the gaps and get the support they need and deserve.

If you work with children, young people or parents, I’d really encourage you to read this and reflect on how we can respond with curiosity, care and connection, not judgement.

Also for continued info and updates on CPA check out Al Coates posts.

Raising awareness of child to parent abuse to ensure all frontline workers can recognise signs of harmful behaviour

08/01/2026

06/01/2026

At the end of last year we had parents and carers contacting us about running another therapeutic parenting session. This is something we plan to do but in the mean time we’ve pre-recorded a webinar for people to buy and access for 180 days.

This pre-recorded webinar is for parents who want to feel more connected, calm, and attuned in their relationship with their child. You don’t need to be dealing with trauma or have a specific diagnosis in mind, this session is about understanding behaviour with curiosity and compassion, and learning how connection can support emotional wellbeing for both you and your child.

Grounded in therapeutic parenting principles and attachment-informed thinking, the webinar gently explores how children learn to regulate their emotions through relationships and how your own regulation plays a vital role.

You will be invited to reflect on:

⭐ What attunement and therapeutic parenting really mean
⭐ Understanding emotional regulation and dysregulation
⭐ Why behaviour is communication
⭐ The importance of connection before correction
⭐ How children’s brains respond under stress
⭐ Co-regulation and calming strategies you can use day to day
⭐ The P.A.C.E. approach (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy)
⭐ The power of repair and reconnection

This session aims to put theory into practice offering tools and approaches you can begin using straight away, while also encouraging a kinder, more compassionate view of yourself as a parent. As we often say: you don’t know what you don’t know and when you do, you can do and be better.

Who is this for?
Parents and carers who want to strengthen connection, increase emotional attunement, and better understand their child’s emotional world.

03/01/2026

Every Monday noon to 1pm I host an online peer meet up for adoptive parents caring for children with challenging and/or aggressive behaviour. If you'd be interested in finding out more email me at al.coates@beaconservices.org.uk or complete this form
https://forms.office.com/e/drdn16BLZ2

30/12/2025

This free workshop will give you helpful information about managing challenging behavior and how to deal with it sensitively.

23/12/2025

Love this. North East coming together to support each other!

22/12/2025

Wishing you a Christmas that gives you exactly what you need…

Whether that’s family time, alone time, a nap, a glass of wine, or all of the above

Be kind to yourself 🤍

19/12/2025

Your child’s past doesn’t take a holiday. What they need most isn’t perfection, it’s your calm, your patience, and connection.

18/12/2025

Children don’t need perfect at Christmas. They need you to be regulated!

Connection matters more than matching pjs this Christmas.

Make time for coregulation and connection.

17/12/2025

Check out this FREE training for kinship carers

Our free workshops, training and events are run online and in-person. They help kinship carers navigate a complex system.

17/12/2025

Behind the "I don't need you" atttitude is a brain that's wiring for adulthood. That's why you need to be your teen's pre-frontal cortex.