16/09/2022
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=634591004698405&id=100044425329644
I used to try so hard to ‘think positive’.
Grappling with my thoughts like a freakin’ greco roman wrestler everytime something negative slipped through the cracks and snuck into my awareness.
Every day was a constant battle to keep on top of things and not cascade into a bottomless pit of doom and gloom.
It was exhausting…
Like pushing a rock up a hill…
I never won.
I had my moments where I managed to fight off the inevitable for a while;
Sometimes days.
Sometimes weeks.
Sometimes even months…
But eventually, I’d crumble.
Everytime.
Little did I realise there was an easier way…
Thankfully, I learnt that ‘positive thinking’ is not about eliminating your negative thoughts altogether.
It’s about accepting them for what they are…
Just thoughts…
Floating around like dust particles in the abyss of the mind.
Coming and going just like clouds in the sky.
There might be times where you can’t see any of the blue sky above you.
Times when it feels like there is no sun.
But it’s always there.
It’s always waiting to present itself to you once again, in good time.
But resisting and fighting against the storm does not make it pass any faster, nor make it any more enjoyable.
Instead, you can choose to observe the storm with wonder.
You can ask yourself with curiosity…
“Wow, I’m noticing that I’m thinking very negatively at the moment… where have these thoughts come from?”
“Are they actually mine, or has something from my external environment provoked them?”
“Is there actually any truth to them, or is the mind just playing tricks on me?”
You see, I learnt that negative thoughts are not there by design to cause you harm.
They’re actually the mind’s way of trying to protect you.
Only problem is that the mind at times seems to think we’re still living in prehistoric times, living in caves and trying to steer clear of vicious and deadly predators.
It doesn’t seem to have evolved enough to understand that for the majority of people in this modern world, these threats are no longer of daily occurrence.
And so it mistakenly perceives more modern day ‘problems’ such as judgement from others or failure as these threats, which in reality are by no means deadly.
I learnt that developing this awareness was the key to ‘positive thinking’.
How did I develop that awareness?
In 2017 I read a book called ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Russ Harris, which taught me a little exercise that I still use to this day.
When I catch myself thinking ‘negative thoughts’ I quickly assess the thought and ask myself, “is this thought helping me”.
If the answer is yes, then I give the thought my attention.
But if the answer is no, then I simply say “thank you mind”, acknowledging that it’s just trying to do it’s job, however, I’m not interested in giving that thought my attention on this occasion.
9 times out of 10 that thought seems to drift away effortlessly into nothingness.
Other times I may have to thank my mind a couple of times.
Think of it like a small child yelling and screaming at you trying to get your attention.
Majority of the time all they want from you is your acknowledgement that you see and hear them, then they’re off on their merry way again.
But what do you think happens when you consciously ignore that child?
They get louder, right?
They start crying.
They chuck a fit.
Snot, drool and tears start protruding from every or***ce.
Agghhhhh! Make it stop!
Not fun…
Negative thoughts don’t have to be avoided or ignored in order to think positively my friends…
They just have to be acknowledged and accepted for what they really are.
Just thoughts.
Just energy passing through you.
If they’re not helping you get to where you want to go, let them float on, peacefully down the stream of your consciousness.
Will you get it perfect every time?
No, probably not.
But with practice, we grow.
And that’s where the money is at friends.
Big love!
❤️
