VLM Therapy

11/01/2026

Fab free 30 min webinar for therapists and counsellors with Lisa Etherson talking about her shame containment theory.

Curious about working with shame? Join Lisa Etherson, founder of SCT, for an intro to this ground-breaking approach to therapy

11/01/2026

Raising awareness of child to parent abuse to ensure all frontline workers can recognise signs of harmful behaviour

09/01/2026

Armour as Protection

Shame armour isn’t bad behaviour.
It isn’t defiance.
It isn’t laziness.

In Jake’s story, armour is protection built when feelings felt too big or too risky to show.

The guidebook supports adults to ask a powerful question:
“What is this behaviour protecting?”

When we see armour clearly, we can respond with curiosity instead of correction. 🛡️

08/01/2026

07/01/2026

Misspelling someone’s name isn’t just rude, it shows a lack of care and consideration. A person’s name is often the first and most fundamental part of their identity.

I’m continually surprised by how often I email someone, sign off as Vicki, and receive a reply starting with “Hi Vicky.” It may seem small, but it can immediately set the tone of a relationship.

Now imagine how this feels for care-experienced children and young people who have assessments, reports, and recordings where their name is spelt incorrectly or inconsistently.

When I read assessments like this, it makes me question how well the professional truly knows the child if the basics aren’t right, what else has been missed?

We are all busy, but getting someone’s name right is a simple act of respect.

Please take the time to check. Names matter.

07/01/2026

07/01/2026

January often arrives with quiet pressure: new term, new goals, new energy.

For many children (and adults), it also brings shame and the feeling that we should be “ready” when we’re not.

In Jake and his Shame Armour, Jake wears armour to protect himself from feeling not good enough. Like many of us, his armour once helped until it became too heavy to carry.

This January, we’re inviting gentle beginnings. No fixing. No forcing. Just noticing what our armour is trying to protect us from.

🔗 https://amzn.eu/d/4RSuSIA 📕

06/01/2026

For those that are interested please check out Better Me Better Us website where you can purchase this webinar and have access for 180 days

https://bettermebetterus.co.uk/online-training/building-attunement-through-therapeutic-parenting/

At the end of last year we had parents and carers contacting us about running another therapeutic parenting session. This is something we plan to do but in the mean time we’ve pre-recorded a webinar for people to buy and access for 180 days.

This pre-recorded webinar is for parents who want to feel more connected, calm, and attuned in their relationship with their child. You don’t need to be dealing with trauma or have a specific diagnosis in mind, this session is about understanding behaviour with curiosity and compassion, and learning how connection can support emotional wellbeing for both you and your child.

Grounded in therapeutic parenting principles and attachment-informed thinking, the webinar gently explores how children learn to regulate their emotions through relationships and how your own regulation plays a vital role.

You will be invited to reflect on:

⭐ What attunement and therapeutic parenting really mean
⭐ Understanding emotional regulation and dysregulation
⭐ Why behaviour is communication
⭐ The importance of connection before correction
⭐ How children’s brains respond under stress
⭐ Co-regulation and calming strategies you can use day to day
⭐ The P.A.C.E. approach (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy)
⭐ The power of repair and reconnection

This session aims to put theory into practice offering tools and approaches you can begin using straight away, while also encouraging a kinder, more compassionate view of yourself as a parent. As we often say: you don’t know what you don’t know and when you do, you can do and be better.

Who is this for?
Parents and carers who want to strengthen connection, increase emotional attunement, and better understand their child’s emotional world.

04/01/2026

The return to school after Christmas can feel heavier than other transitions.
Weeks of connection, slower mornings, flexible routines and togetherness suddenly give way to separation, noise, structure and expectation.

If your child is showing more tears, worries, meltdowns or resistance right now, it isn’t a step backwards.
It’s a nervous system recalibrating from safety and connection back into demand.

You’re not doing anything wrong — and neither are they.

We’re sharing posts to help children transition back to school after the Christmas break.
Explore our recent posts and access our free downloadable resources to support regulation, reassurance and smoother mornings.

31/12/2025

Exclusive: Met figures thought to reflect national picture with Covid, poverty and more people seeking help possible factors

31/12/2025

✨ End of Year Reflections ✨

As 2025 comes to an end, I wanted to pause and reflect (something I’m always encouraging others to do… and sometimes forget to do myself!).

It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness that we don’t always stop to notice what we’ve achieved, what we’ve learned, and just how much growth has happened along the way.

So here goes…

In 2025 I’ve had the privilege of working with 46 children, adults and families, including private clients and those within adoption, fostering and SGO. Work I continue to love and feel privileged to do.

At the start of the year, I had an amazing opportunity to do an exciting recording for KOMO Global. Huge thanks to Diego Melo and Brian Mair for making that happen.

I’ve delivered both face-to-face and online training alongside my lovely colleague and friend Haley Muir part of Better Me Better Us. And thanks to The A & F Podcast BMBU has gone on to deliver 12 monthly podcasts, helping to expand conversations around some really important topics and a few detours along the way.

I’ve also been part of 10 adoption panels this year as an independent panel member. I continue to be passionate about ensuring prospective adopters are trauma informed and prepared for the reality of parenting a traumatised child lifelong!

One of my proudest moments this year was finally releasing Jake and His Shame Armour and the accompanying guidebook with my friend (and the brilliant brain behind Shame Containment Theory) Lisa Etherson 📕

I co-delivered training on Vicarious Trauma with Dawn Velody, someone I met through adoption panel work (proof that like-minded people always seem to find each other).

I also started coaching sessions with the lovely Lou Mason, which helped me refocus… and directly led to me running my first Life Story training for therapists (sometimes growth comes with a gentle or big nudge).

And finally… I’ve tried (and sometimes failed 😅) not to work every Friday, in an attempt to create a better work-life balance. That’s meant more exercise, dog walks, and much needed catch-ups with friends and family.

Feeling incredibly grateful, reflective, and quietly proud as I step into the next year 💛

23/12/2025

Final Christmas countdown 🎅🏼

Let’s give each other permission to be human, to make mistakes, to not have everything perfect and to simply be present!