VLM Therapy

25/05/2026

A few holiday reflections from my trip to Mexico 🇲🇽

13/05/2026

Exams can be a shame inducing time.

See behind your child’s behaviour and when they’ve put their shame armour on.

12/05/2026

Are we losing how to be human and have real relationships?

NEW PODCAST EPISODE OUT NOW 🎙️

Podcast 36 - Are we connected or disconnected?

In a fast-paced world where we have an increasing number of connections, how meaningful are our relationships really?

This episode explores the contradiction of being more digitally connected than ever whilst feeling increasingly disconnected as humans. From social media and boundaries to unsafe relationships, and the impact on young people’s social skills, we reflect on what real human connection looks like in today’s world.

🎧 https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-adoption-and-fostering-podcast/id1164600703?i=1000767326585

As always you can connect with us through the following -
Website- www.bettermebetterus.co.uk
Instagram- BMBUltd
Facebook – Better Me Better Us
Email – info@bettermebetterus.co.uk

11/05/2026

Webinar coming up on Wednesday. Helping Your Demand Avoidant Teen with Anxiety. Please share if you know parents who might want to know.

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1985570059498?aff=oddtdtcreator

08/05/2026

As a therapeutic parent, you often feel like a detective.

Every behaviour your child shows is a clue, a message, a way of communicating something they may not have the words for.

It might be fear, anxiety, shame or a need for connection. What looks tlike defiance or withdrawal can often be a protective strategy.

When you pause and look beyond the surface, you’re not just managing behaviour you’re building trust, safety and healing.

07/05/2026

For those living with children and young people taking exams over the next few weeks here’s a few reminders-

✏️ Empathise - acknowledge how they are feeling, avoid offering advice unless they ask for it.
✏️ Listen - let them rant, moan, talk about their exam, not want to talk about it. Follow their lead
✏️ Regulate - it’s likely they’re going to feel overwhelmed so nice food, snacks, walks, games, movie nights, hugs.
✏️ Be present - they might not “need” you but be there, be present in the house and keeping checking in. Don’t just leave them to it and hope they’ll ask if they need something.
✏️ Remind them they are more than their exam results. Gently notice all their other lovely qualities no matter how small.

06/05/2026

Join Stephanie Batey, Neurodiversity Trainer for the Inclusive Teacher Company, for a practical and inspiring session designed to help your child thrive.

05/05/2026

Yesterday I stepped out of my comfort zone and got some professional pictures taken. No stock images for me - just me, the actual human behind VLM.

Shout out to for being an absolute pro from day one. Strategy calls, vision boards, she’s made this whole process so smooth, creative and fun. Who knew having pictures taken could be so exhausting!

Now comes the hardest part…waiting to see the final shots and fingers crossed at least one captures my best side 😂

📸 Behind the scenes - obviously Nala features in lots 🐶

05/05/2026

When you ban screens as a consequence, it can feel like the quickest way to 'make the lesson stick'.

But for many young people (especially ND children), screens are a regulating tool — so removing them often ramps up overwhelm rather than reducing the behaviour.

Today’s post looks at why screen bans tend to backfire and what actually supports learning and regulation instead.

Check an eye out for our post on natural and logical consequences, it will help to explain why consequences that don’t match the behaviour rarely lead to meaningful change.

For details of a free download, see footer of visual.

03/05/2026

30/04/2026

"A Review of Systemic Failings in UK Adoption" produced by Fiona Wells and the PATCH - Passionate Adopters Targeting Change - with Hope community puts into words something that families I work with have been trying to say for years, but haven't always been heard.

As a therapist working in adoption and fostering, I see the human cost of these failings. Not as statistics. As real people sitting in front of me.

The parents who were told their child's meltdowns were a parenting problem, not a trauma response.

The families who asked for help and were investigated instead of supported.

The children whose prenatal exposure, FASD, sensory needs, and neurological injuries were never properly assessed (for many different reasons).

Permanence is not the end point, it's the start. That is one of the most important things this review says and one of the things the system most consistently gets wrong.

The review identifies failings across the adoption landscape:
🔴Blame culture embedded in social care, education, health and safeguarding
🔴No mandatory whole-child assessment before placement
🔴FASD misunderstood as defiance
🔴Sibling harm minimised
🔴Parents carrying a therapeutic role they were never trained or supported to hold
🔴No national data on breakdowns, re-entries to care, or what actually happens to children long-term

And underneath all of it, one consistent pattern: behaviour is responded to, while the injury/ trauma beneath it goes unseen.

"Harm unseen harms everyone — the child, the family, professionals, systems, and society as a whole." Sadly is so true!

This is why therapeutic support in adoption and fostering matters. Not as an add-on. As a necessity. Families need practitioners who understand trauma, who see the whole child, and who work with, not against, the people who love them.

You can read the review here
https://www.ourpatch.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/A-Review-Of-Systemic-Failings-In-UK-Adoption.pdf